Favorites About Christmas

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate with vanilla, cinammon, real milk & whipped cream.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? He used to leave them under the tree, for some reason now, he wraps them up.... strange (!)

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Both and Both.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Not lately

5. When do you put your decorations up? My preference will be the first weekend after Thanksgiving, but it seems I never finish getting decorations up...

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Mashed potatoes (mom's!).

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Probably the Christmas I got a puppy... I had been hinting all year... singing "Something Barked On Christmas Morning" etc... and sure enough- - Santa brought me a fat little puppy we named Nipper. I am not an early riser, and sleep like a log, so mom had to bring the puppy upstairs (she had been crying and whimpering all night... unbeknownst to me, and was so chubby she couldn't get up the stairs herself) and she licked my face until I woke up -- pretty cool, I must say!!

8. How and When did you learn the truth about Santa? My suspicions were confirmed when my mother said, "you're old enough now you don't believe in Santa anymore, do you?"

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Yes, I had to start the tradition with my mother, who would then dictate which present I got to open... usually something thrilling like underwear.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? As many lights as possible, all the ornaments I can find -- my ornaments are actually in my MIL's loft in Scotland, so last year we made do with some dollar store bows and bells, but it looked great -- it is slowly starting to increase its ornament collection ;-)

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Because we're in the desert, it is rare and wonderful.

12. Can you ice skate? oh. no.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I remember getting a Donald Duck record player when I was like, 3 or 4... pearl and diamond earrings one year, an oil painting beginners kit, a fabulous digital camera (which I promptly lost two months later... still sick about it)... barbie townhouse, the puppy

14. What's the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Keeping in touch with special friends, family and creating new memories and new traditions with himself.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Mini Mince pies from Tesco, cheesecake.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? Christmas breakfast (which will be on the 30th this year) with friends that are family (breadsticks!), himself & I staying up until 12:01 Christmas midnight so we can open our gifts and play, then have a nice long sleep in the morning with a huge proper British fry up, and giving my mom her variety of popcorn salt(s).

17. What tops your tree? I haven't found the perfect ______; so right now there is a giant shiny red bow.

18. Which do you prefer giving or Receiving? I enjoy them both.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? Mary Did You Know ~ O Holy Night ~ Still, Still, Still ~ Baby, What You Goin' To Be ~ O Star Of Bethlehem (these last three I sang in High School and still sing them to myself at the holidays!) ~ John Denver & The Muppets entire Christmas Album -- it is the only version of "The 12 Days Of Christmas" I enjoy :-) ~ White Christmas (Bing Crosby) ~ Little Drummer Boy/Peace On Earth (Bing & Bowie). There are probably more, but that's a good start.

Timely Topics That Test...

Test what -- our faith? Our flexibility? Our Openness to change? To ask ourselves hard questions about why we do what we do?

My bottom line -- it is ultimately the relationship between me and God. He sees my heart, He sees my intention, He sees my sin. Yes, we are directed to fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ. And where groups of people gather, there is conflict & disagreement... and how we deal with others who disagree with us is a good litmus test of how we are faring ourselves with our fruits of the spirit. (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control)

God of the Old Testament is also God of the New Testament, and He never changes. There are things we can't imagine Him caring about, yet He was quite specific about a lot of things in the O.T. That sometimes gives me pause when I start wondering about what things are 'salvation issues' -- it is hard for me to imagine the use of instruments in worship as a salvation issue. Music being my passion and blessing and gift. Yet, if I'd grown up in any other 'denomination' I would probably have been false & arrogant and incredibly vain and un-humble. But while it is hard for me to imagine, I am finite, and cannot possibly begin to understand where God is coming from - His purpose.

I just kind of started in on my thoughts -- they stem from this website -- which I love going to and seeing what direction the winds are blowing...

Keith Lancaster's blog - comments from Dec

• Why is it okay for a woman to serve communion east and west, but not north and south?

• "In case someone missed the "east and west" meaning, I found it hilarious when someone told me "It's okay for a woman to pass the tray left or right down the pew, but not from pew to pew" (north to south); thus the smart alec question I asked..."

I love this theory...

• "My 89-year-old dad has ... a theory on this subject. He thinks God directed the position of women in worship in recognition of man's inherent nature to sit back and let women do all the work, so that as women would assume more and more responsibility the men would just keep withdrawing from that responsibility."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We've been busy!! We're having an Open House on the 30th - I'm planning on it being an annual Event every year on the Saturday between Christmas and New Years.

I'll do more soon -- it's all been good!!

hrmph

I'm feeling so frustrated and grumpy... all completely unjustified... it must be hormonal. hrmph.

Everyone else is to blame for my grumpiness... [sarcasm] - though that is actually how I feel, my brain knows that is incorrect.

I've tried praying this attitude crap away -- I've tried deep breathing -- I might have to resort to exercise!

I hope I'll feel better tomorrow.

And we just got back from a terrific weekend at the Grand Canyon!!

Pictures as promised

Brother & new sister in law


Tacky Tartan & Overpriced Meat Pies, "Aye Right, Ah'm not pie'n fur that!"

5 Things

I'm grateful for:

My health. I can't say this enough.

My husband. He's my 'number one' - I ask for things and he makes it so... I'm so spoiled!

My computer. Sounds shallow.. maybe it is - but it helps keep me in touch with so many people I wouldn't otherwise hear from. Not to mention Spider Solitaire.

My Mom. Home is where your mom is.

Tucson. This time of year is just incredible. I'll re-read this next summer when I'm moaning and groaning about how hot it is!

Have a meaningful Thanksgiving - one that helps you remember all the things for which thanks should be given.

More Fluff

My traitor friend (now on myspace) Ronda (love ya girlie) had this on her blog, and talked about how doing these things helps her really discover who she is, and not who she is because of other people's expectations/ambitions for her... and since I recently discovered the same thing - I thought I would play.

In my recent self-discovery, the realization that I don't want to be a Queen of Harmony surprised me. I think I said I wanted it because I'm capable of it, I should want it, and the journey would be good for me. But I don't care about it. I'm so much happier in everything without that huge expectation hanging in the air above me like a big dark rain cloud ready to burst. Hard to explain - but I've done things all my life because someone suggested I should - I'd be great at this, that or I should study this because I'm talented blah blah blah... and since I didn't really have any goals or knowledge about myself, I'd do it. I don't/didn't want to miss out on anything that might be "it" - ya know? Since I let this go, I just feel so incredibly free!!!!


1. How tall are you barefoot? 5'7

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No.

3. Do you own a gun? No.

4. Who's your best friend? I don't really have one best... i have many excellent life-long forever friends... friends I don't talk to or see even every week, but know if I called they'd be there for me... and me for them... Jennifer, Carol, Rosalie, Marie, Wendy, Dan... Marianne, Catherine, Elizabeth, Joan...

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"? no - nervous isn't the word... a little anxious mebbe...

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I try not to

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? Mary Did You Know?; Baby, (What You Goin' To Be?); The 12 Days After Christmas, Greensleeves... there are more, but I need to start listening to Christmas music!

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee, OJ, water

9. Can you do push ups? A push up. Maybe two. working on it.

10. Is your bathroom clean? My toilet is clean, it is reasonable...

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? I don't like the expensive, sentimental stuff because I'm so rough on it - it makes me nervous. I adore my wedding ring - my nana's diamond & my aunt's pearl, designed and given to me by my aunt Carolyn ~ but I only wear it a few times a year - I wore it in Scotland right after we were married and the diamond fell out and that was it - no more wearing it everyday (we found the diamond, btw). The things I wear just about every day - my plain wedding band and my silver hoop earrings... they're qualified the most as favorites, I guess.

12. Do you like painkillers? When I'm in pain, yes.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? My teasing laughter. (i guess?)

14. Do you own a knife? Just kitchen ones

15. Do you have A.D.D.? No.

16. Middle Name? Diane

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. wasting time (need to be stamping)
2. wish I blogged more often
3. I'm addicted to exercise!!! (walked 2.32 miles today with T)

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
1. paper crimper
2. 2/$1 votive candle holders (saw a cool stamped paper idea)
3. Stamp cleaner (Michael's purchases... can you tell?)

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1. Water
2. coffee
3. Tea - various

20. What time did you wake up today? 8:39am

21. Pets? not currently, but we're planning to adopt a humane society dog after t-day.

22. Current worry? Relying on myself as my income -- singing... having a coughing fit Sunday morning before the performance brought home how careful I need to be, how dependent on good health, car running well, good preparation -- all these things go into making money.

23. Current hate? Trying not to hate anything. Change this to pet peeve and well.... poor grammar.

24. Favorite place to be? on a porch swing, with a breeze, some fru-fru cold drink in my hand (sweet), green trees, cool sunny day, watching the world go by.

25. Least favorite place to be? doctor, dentist, getting blood taken... blech.

26. Where would you like to go? Australia

27. Do you own slippers? Yes, 2 pairs

28. What shirt are you wearing? Red v-neck t-shirt that is probably one of the oldest pieces of clothing I can still wear. Have had it before moving to Scotland - now a workout/cleaning shirt that is okay to wear in public.

29. Do you burn or tan? both

30. Favorite color(s)? Yellow, Purple, Pink

31. Would you be a pirate? No.

32. Do you journal, or make lists of things you need to do? I have journalled -- I should do more of it, it helps get stuff out in a healthy way... and yes, I make lists of things I need to do -- in a journal book :-)


33. What songs do you sing in the shower? How Great Thou Art is a favorite, Thank You Lord is another good shower song. Where Are The Simple Joys Of Maidenhood is another great shower song ;-)

34. What did you fear was going to get you when you were younger? The devil.

35. What's in your pockets right now? no pockets right now.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? V. Talking to her on Skype in Shanghai -- we could hardly talk we were laughing so hard... miss her!

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? huh?

38. Worst injury you've ever had? tearing ligaments in both legs when I fell down the stairs in Scotland.

39. Music, TV, Books or Movies? I'm putting them in order: Music, Books, Movies, TV -- because hello -- life without music or books? no way.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two that are plugged in - one that is unused, one projector thing that isn't really a tv, but could be if himself made it so, I think.

41. Who is your loudest friend? probably Ann :-)

42. Who is your most silent friend? T.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I hope not.

44. Do you wish on shooting stars? yes - but I call it a prayer.

45. What is your favorite book? The Stand

46. What is your favorite candy? See's. Chocolate w/ caramel. M&M's, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfingers

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? So This Is Love, When You Wish Upon A Star, A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes; I Will Be There; When I Fall In Love, Love Changes Everything... yep, it was like a musical event :-)

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? was just starting to think about this the other day -- Sing And Be Happy, definitely will be up there -- I picked up a 'estate planning' type of thing from where I work, and think it is a good idea to start making some grown up decisions...

49. What were you doing at 12 am midnight last night? Reading Blogs

50. What was the First thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Gotta pee... coffee... do I have time to check my email?

whine & fluff

whine.... *why* do we have to do google accounts... *whine whine whine* I don't wannnaaaaa!!! I want something to stay the same for like, I don't know - more than a couple years.... (not really... just not wanting to re-sign up for something else I won't remember. Good Grief!)

k. Now that's off my chest.

Hey - I stayed at my exact weight last week. himself was down 1/2 a lb. All things considered I was pleased. So far this week I've gained 11 'movement' points -- which I needed! I performed on Sunday - which was a performance from which I learned... 3 times singing something in front of my computer does NOT a rehearsal make *inward groan* -- but hey -- it is good to learn something new everytime, right? [sarcasm, in case you missed it].

I walked with my pal T on Monday morning - that was fun - then Curves yesterday and today -- yay me!! I'm trying to 'trick' myself into believing that "I'm addicted to exercise" -- uh-huh... rather than the 'old me' - hating it, being bored etc... and we all know that 90% of any battle we have is in the mind. Sometimes it takes me awhile to realize that I can apply these principles to my *entire* life, not just one particular goal or objective I have.

We played pool Saturday night -- 3 couples and we all pretty much sucked. Some of us pocketed 2 balls (me), some of us more than that (everyone but T), but it was much fun. Himself cracked everyone up with his wit, humor, and trying to teach me how to hold the cue stick (is that even the right word for it?) We played snooker, then 8 ball. Good times.

I'm feeling good. Having less to be responsible for and "do" is so very freeing.

Here's a fun place to test your musical aptitude... I scored 75%, and was pleased with that - I'd probably do better if I took it again, I wouldn't be distracted by how >weird< the sounds are.

Copied this from Yerdoingitwrong's blog - I stop by occasionally to see what she's up to and haven't done a Meme, so here goes...

1. Explain what ended your last relationship.

I don't even remember the last relationship... it must've been P., who I dated *briefly* (can't stress how briefly enough)... he was, in just plain terms, a dork. Not a cute geek (I married one of those ;-), but a stingy, well-meaning, sex-starved, way-too-much-information-for-a-first-date dork. Bless his heart. He had a rough life, and I admire his stubborn bull-headedness. It ended because I was embarrassed to be seen with him. (and I'm embarrassed to admit that)

2. When was the last time you shaved?

Today. Miracle. When I first saw/read this meme that answer would have been very different.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?

trying to figure out my invoices for performing and independent contracting work. I'm at a loss about whether or not I was paid for 3 gigs... my own fault. So now you know why I'm getting organized.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?

Reading This blog.

5. Are you any good at math?

Not really -- but I think I had stinky teachers for the first half, then bad attitude for the second half. One or two cute tutors might've helped...

6. Your prom night?

I went my senior year with T - very very very good looking guy, a great friend, who I tried really hard to be attracted to, but nope - never happened. We're still friends, though!

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?

My great aunt did our family tree back to Alexander the Great...

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?

oh. Yes.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?

I don't understand myspace stuff either. but I have a place on myspace.... one day I will spend some time like my pal Ronda, who ditched her blogger blog and went all myspace... traitor. I have to say, all the cute stuff really irritates me. I like that you can play music etc.. on it, though.

10. Last thing received in the mail?

I think there's a Michael's coupon in the ad/junk mail today. Real mail? Yikes. don't remember.

11. How many different beverages have you had today?

Coffee w/ vanilla soy milk & sugar (at home), coffee w/ the same at work, water, water, water... maybe will have a chocolate soy milk when I'm done...

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?

Yes!!

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?

Um... my first cool concert was Journey. But I went to Neil Diamond, and a free IBM thing with Louise Mandrell.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

sometimes.

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?

braces tightened. I had a root canal in Scotland, but was surprised at how un-painful it was.

16. What is out your back door?

we have 3 sets of french doors all leading to the back yard. One door has the spa :-D. One door has a brick path that leads to the spa :-D; and the other to the side patio which will soon become our 'arizona room' aka where himself can sit and smoke, screened in alternate living space.

17. Any plans for Friday night?

Dedicated watch British telly night.

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?

neutral opinion, don't care - I'm at the ocean :D

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?

No, but that would be a good gift for me :-)

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?

Yes - twice, I think!

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?

Yes.

22. Some things you are excited about?

Going to a crop - Thanksgiving/Birthday - going to the Grand Canyon via steam train ride that starts at Williams... should be fun. Christmas is coming - singing Christmas carols. Getting a dog after Thanksgiving *yay!*, exercising (see... it is working....!), getting my business off the ground.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?

Berry... any kind but the weird blue thing. Not as fond of cherry flavor, but all the other berries.

24. Describe your key chain(s)?

I have 2 - one for house, one for car - the house key chain has a wooden carved thistle, and a plastic one that says, "You can take the girl out of Scotland, but you can't take Scotland out of the girl" given to me by my best Scottish Friend, W. Both key chains are on those rubbery wear-around-your-wrist-like-a-bracelet things, purple.

25. Where do you keep your change?

In my wallet, in a couple of colored bottles near the front door, and in my jewelry box (the states quarters)

26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?

Sunday.

27. What kind of winter coat do you own?

A red goose-down fluffy thing -- looks like a quilt, but fluffier. I'm sure it has a real name, but don't ask me.

28. What was the weather like on your graduation day?

Sunny. Malibu was gorgeous - it was windy, but you could see all the way to Rancho PV and even see Catalina out in the ocean... perfect day.

29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?

Open - we need the circulation! If it were up to himself, it would be closed... those Brits without central air or heating!! ;-)

Other Blogs

I came into my room to "work" at 7:30 pm - it is now 9:21 pm and I've not done a single note. I need to input what I'm going to be singing on Sunday -- and type out lyric sheets for the sing along... and I got to looking for sources to find lamb/mutton - recipes for traditional scottish and indian food for B's Christmas... and then reading blogs.

I get inspired to write in mine when I read others, but I never fully realize what I want to say - how much sense does this make?

And I signed up for myspace and holy moly that is just too complicated for me right now... learning something new with all the other stuff I'm supposed to be doing -- just ugh.

We're dog sitting and I need to take them out for the evening walk - and then go to bed so I can get up at 6:30 am and take them for the morning walk & poop - and maybe tomorrow morning I'll get some music work done. Because I want to play on Friday -- go to a crop.

Mom told me she and L are probably going to Colorado for Christmas this year... she's up in arms because she said "Christmas is about kids" -- well... he has a daughter and son in law *with grandkids!!* in Colorado -- so it IS about the kids... and I told her she was mean mean saying that "it just won't be Christmas" in front of him!! I said why don't you plan on coming here for New Year's then for a few days, we're planning to have a real guest room by then.

But I'm actually excited to have Christmas here - in the house... in himself's and mine own tradition! It is motivating me to clean a little more each day -- don't worry, I'm not over extending myself by any means ;-) -- but I set up a plan to get the craft room moved and the guest room created... and where are we going to put the tree...and I've put in a request for mini Mince Pies from Tesco from my pal in Scotland *fingers crossed* and it is just kinda fun to think about. OOhhhhh... maybe she can send over himself's favorite alcoholic beverage - Advocaat -- a couple of bottles of that would make his Christmas!!

We went to the Celtic Festival this past Saturday - good grief, sweating something awful - it was flippin' 80 degrees! Hot and Sunny... I mean, [warning: sarcasm] it was so much like Scotland! -- NOT --. But we found some tacky tartan, yet well made Rugby balls to send to himself's friend in Scotland... and once we send it, himself says he'll never be able to go home again -- ha ha!! I had 4 Tunnocks Tea Cakes (a British store in Scottsdale carries them... good to know), and himself had Irn Bru... and we watched a dog herd sheep, and we saw the highland competition where the guys balance then throw the big telephone pole looking things... don't have a clue what that is called. Himself absolutely refused to pay $7.00 for a Scotch Pie... hmmm... maybe next year ;-). Will get my pictures uploaded eventually.

Well,not exactly all I wanted to say - but God is a good God ~ and we are so very blessed!!

A Crown in Heaven

I went to church last Sunday - and hymn 701 had a line about singing and having a crown in heaven *gets up and gets hymnal*...

My Jesus, I Love Thee

3rd verse:
"In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I'll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I'll sing with the glittering crown on my brow:
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now."

A defining moment for me. You see, when you win the international quartet contest in Sweet Adelines, you become known as a 'Queen of Harmony' (actually that term really started in Harmony Inc., but liked it enough to use it too ;-), and yes, the winners all get crowned. When I sang this song this past Sunday, I felt a confirmed road sign on the path God wants me to take was ablaze with lights and affirmation. That light bulb 'a-ha!' moment, "I'm going to have a crown in heaven, where I'll get to sing in perfect, ringing harmony. All the time. And eat cheesecake and not worry that it will put ickies on my vocal folds. *yay!!!*"

This only child who made up stories and played alone a lot was (is still, some would say...) a dress-up queen was always a princess, a fairy princess, Cinderella... you get the picture -- so how cool that I could have an "adult" desire to become a "Queen" and get a real life tiara -- and if you know Mary Englebreit's artwork and her "It's Good To Be Queen" and "Queen of Everything" pieces, well, I liked those before I even knew about Sweet Adelines and Queens of Harmony. And wear the crown. And be part of an elite group of women.

I gave up this goal. It has been a rough month, this re-evaluating my 'objectives' and seeing if the goals I thought I wanted lined up with my values and how I see my life. What it takes to be a SAI Queen isn't what I want.

I feel sad. I feel relieved, all of a sudden I've taken HEAPS of pressure of myself. I have the pipes - I know music is a gift and a passion that God has given me, but I believe He is presenting me with His path of singing for the seniors, sans any crowns, because my heart is so touched, and so raw and so loving of this population. I know I can use my gift to encourage and bring a smile to someone's face.

The difference in how I feel after a performance for the residents at Fellowship Square, and how I feel after a performance with my quartet -- well, there is no comparison. Don't get me wrong. I am not giving up a cappella music, or barbershop! I get a fix singing with these women. But my focus has changed, and I'm glad.

It is right.

I don't know if I've accurately conveyed how I'm feeling - it is midnight, and I have a busy & fun day tomorrow -- but somehow I needed to get this out.

The Show was awesome!

The weekend was a bust -- but the feedback has been terrific!

Started weight watchers with himself - he's doing Core plan, I'm doing flex points - tomorrow we'll go to our second meeting.

Lots going on and its all swirling in my head -- can't seem to focus on just getting one thing done.

Himself bought me a way cool old-fashioned microphone for my birthday... I would have been surprised if the box it was delivered in hadn't had "microphone" printed on the outside... ah well... it is a retro 40's style... like on my business card.

Singing for the Fellowship Square Veteran's Party on the 12th of November -- just have to pick up the phone to sing for two more venues... and even figured out how to fade out two songs I've already recorded for a demo CD. My excuses are running thin. :-)

24 more shopping days until my birthday. It will be the 18th anniversary of my 21st birthday. I will be down 100 lbs by my next birthday, Lord Willing.

My sister's b/day and my excellent pal in Scots Land will be turning their respective ages this Friday. And nope, no card for either of them in the post. Maybe a phone call...

I'm taking a break from Sweet Adelines - my quartet is taking a big huge break because the bass's mom has cancer - she's with her mom, and I'm focusing on getting physically and financially fit -- can we say God's Timing?!

Himself and I ditched Halloweener's... went and saw "Invicible" about Vincent Papale, football player in the 70's with the Philadelphia Eagles -- really really good, clean, inspiring movie. One of those that makes you all warm inside.

We also watched "Fun with Dick and Jane" remake this weekend, nothing like the original with George Seagal & Jane Fonda - but despite himself, I think Jim Carrey is talented, and I like Tea Leoni. We also saw "Zatharca" or was it "Zarcatha" -- similar to Jumanji, only with outerspace instead of jungle dangers... no big names, cute film... Yeah, I'm likin' the movie projector thing more and more. Oh, and I saw "The Break Up" Monday night, working the Monday Night Movie at Fellowship... Himself has signed us up for Blockbuster thingey that is like Netflix -- so I logged on and put in some of my requests -- so that will be fun.

Well... better get to the sing a long word sheets...

exhale!

wow. I feel sort of like I've been holding my breath for a week!

First of all... I walked over 10 miles - mostly in the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas... trying to figure out where in the heck the north tower was in relation to Harmony Bazaar, and then back, and then to Monaco Tower (where our room was) and back... and it wasn't 'til the day before I leave that I figure out the short cut... but now I don't feel guilty about not walking (as in exercise walking) in the mornings... yay!

SALT quartet was crowned International Champion quartet -- they were awesome! Rich-Tones won the chorus contest, over Melodeers (2nd) and North Metro (3rd). Ladies from Velvet Hills chorus (Colorado Springs, CO) were the nicest gals I met, and I have huge bruises on my hips from the small stadium seats.

I only bought 2 CD's (YAY! - 25 years of "High Society" and the 2nd CD of "The Buzz"), and some gel thingeys for my shoes, which did help a lot with some of the foot issues I have.

I ate soup in my room two nights, and taking all the extra crap is well worth it, and as much as I loved spending 16 hours driving to and fro with my pals, I missed having the access to independence (i.e., my own car). I'm glad I had the time with SA and SU, though, as I learned lots of inside information, and just generally added 'good things' to my knowledge base of barbershop and of the SAI organization in general.

I got to see some of the ladies from Forth Valley Chorus:
















That's me, Moira, Elaine & Moyra in the hallway of the Riviera, after my quartet sang for them :D.

My two quartet buddies were busy with Scottsdale chorus stuff, and my roomie quartet buddy saw good friends of hers from Harborlights Chorus, so we all had a full week! I'm blessed that I was able to bunk in with my pal from Pepperdine; as well as stay an extra night in the hotel that I should have paid for -- so many things I want to do when I start earning money (like pay people back!!!)

The week was long, but it went by so fast! Getting back to real life is just a bother.

I think I want to simplify, yet do these things that are not simple.

I got sick on Wednesday ~ I think it was a combination of not enough sleep and being overheated -- and 10,000 germs, smoke & more people. I'm feeling better today!

How does one get rid of that feeling of wanting and needing to do more?!

Vegas Baby!

Two more sleeps and I leave for Vegas for Sweet Adelines International - International Contest & Convention!! I'm making my packing list, praying for money to arrive in the mail ;-), trying to think of all the things I'll want to have with me and will they fit in my suitcase(s)? I've call my Pepperdine Pal who'll I'll be catching up with after too many years, meeting his 4 year old son, and re-connecting.

I'll be meeting up with 3 awesome Scottish gals with whom I sang with while a member of Forth Valley Chorus in Edinburgh, Scotland... and soaking in barbershop!

You can listen to fabby Scottish quartet ~ Mac4 here! Excellent!!!

So I'll be gone for awhile --

Whoo hoo!!!

Why Am I Still Up?

I'm tired... chorus was good, even though I sat around most of the night.

Gotta get on those ticket sales!

Met some friends at Starbucks afterwards, and that was much fun -- mmmmm bananas & cream Frappacino :D -- with a crumble coffeecake *drool*.

Found a friend of mine's blog tonight ~ I knew she was reading lots of blogs, but didn't know she had one -- so she's now a link on the side :waves to Vonnie:.

Yesterday I walked 30 minutes on the treadmill -- oh so righteous! Today I only did 16 minutes... but I'm doing the best I can at the moment, and I'm not beating myself up about it (miracle of miracles...).

I spent yesterday reading up on goal setting -- and something struck me that I probably have heard a zillion times, but you know that 'a-HA!' that comes when you finally really GET something... the quote I read was something like: "That which does not take you closer to your goal takes you in the opposite direction" -- well duh. Every time I make a decision, I need to consider in what direction will my efforts go -toward or against my objective. It hit me right, and I decided I am going to stop scrapping for my client, as my music goals are the ones I want to focus on, and scrapping for her is taking away the time I want to spend on developing the music. By this time next year I want to be working full time singing for the retirement communities. I have a financial number goal in my head, and I hope I'm in a position that will allow me to quit my 'structured' job.

The other thing I really never paid much attention to (probably due to youth... peering at 40 is helping me realize half of it - it being whatever it is - doesn't/won't matter) is that my values need to be in line with what I think my goal/objective is. This relates to me being the people pleaser and saying yes to something because someone else has said I'd be good at it, or because they can "really see you [me] doing that..." - making decisions based on what others think/feel/want has clouded my vision for myself.

Basically, I don't know what I want. I'm finally admitting that yes, I'm creative (ask me about my pantry shelves...), yes, I have a gift for singing that I still don't understand fully how my singing affects people. But if you dont' know what you want, well -- you've already got it. My vision for my life, even when viewed through the gifts and passions God has give me, has been cloudy. I'm not sure what I want for myself - so really thinking about what I value, what I want to give my time to, and what motivates me -- all of that is processing and I'm writing it out.

And I think, "It's not about me." -- and that really helped me focus on my music goals, and the gift that I can share with the senior audiences - what the seniors at my former job would say to me and about me -- and how much they've expressed their love for what they say I give them when I sing for them. I've been resisting it - fear of responsibility, fear of being forced to be persistent, of having to follow through, fear of committment. But I've been praying about what direction/path my life is supposed to take since I can't remember, and I believe God is showing me that through committing to music as my vocation and my career, I will develop the self-discipline and obedience that I've been lacking. I'm obeying.

Yes, I'm a later bloomer, always have been. It's taken me awhile to believe in myself. But every day I get closer.

Can we say, "God Is An Awesome God!!" ?

I liked this enough to post it

I got this in an email ~ thought there were some things worth sharing. I don't know where the part credited to Ben Stein stops... I edited some bits at the end that induces guilt by implying I'm not a good Christian if I don't forward emails like this as easily as I forward email jokes. For the record - I never send anything to everyone in my email address book.

I always try take out the 'send this to 8 people in 8 minutes or else' crap at the bottom of sentiments I like and want to pass on. It is like sales ~ don't sell to me ~ if I want it, I'll buy it -- or I'll ask more questions to gather more information to see if I want it. If the email is something I want to share, I'll share it. If it ain't, I'm not gonna pass it on. Nor do I return emails asking for it to be returned to the sender (except for the 'getting to know you' emails, I like those when I have time :D ). *why?!* Why send them something you know they already have? :rolling my eyes!:

But I digress.

The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary


Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don' t feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a creche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.

But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina)

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, "I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.

And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about and we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

P.S.

I walked on the treadmill for 15 minutes this morning.

Yay!

But I didn't do any housework -- well, I ran the dishwasher, but haven't unloaded it yet.

I watched my TiVo's "Grey's Anatomy" and "Ghost Whisperer" and an old "CSI Miami" -- and I've scrapped 3 pages - in the middle of 2 more, and will get 10 today!!

Not bad.

Chapter is closed

I unsubbed from American Expats.

My pal 'Mater called me from Scotland and filled me in on as much as she knew (which, I have to say wasn't a whole lot :laugh:), and I was just going there and wasting time... but I will miss some of the people I "knew" virtually. [And to be clear, she called out of guilt, because she was supposed to call me when she was stateside and didn't... so I left her a guilt-inducing comment on her blog... :hee hee: RESULT!] And really, when she told me she unsubbed, she was the only one I was keeping in touch with, my other pals have been long gone. And she said that Meta unsubbed, and that Saucywitch was about to unsub... well... it looks like it is a mass exodus, and when the page came up that I was supposed to pay to resubscribe, I just said no.

Last night himself said that in our 8 years of marriage, this is the most settled he's felt. He said he's happy to retire from Intuit and live here forever -- not sure if I want to live in Arizona forever... but no plans to move, and lots of things to keep us here. He's happy. He's content. Which makes me happy :D !!

Got my Sweet Adeline Int'l Convention "Keepin' Score" booklet -- it is VERY cool! It is self-described as "the definitive competition guide for Stat Rats, Armchair Judges, Trivia Nuts & Costume Doodlers!" International in Las Vegas is only a couple weeks away... better get back to scrappin!

I don't have to be superwoman

You know when you have that quiet moment of a-ha!?!

In what my world is - we are raised with (silent) expectations of our parents... of what our life should be.

I understood in my gut this afternoon that I don't have to live the same life as my mother. My house doesn't have to be ready for an impromptu gathering within 15 minutes (as much as I think that is awesome, and completely admire people who can live like that...). I don't have to put my sheets and towels in the linen closet if I don't think that is the best place for them (not that this was a big obstacle). I just have to love my mother. And myself. And she is what she is.

This carried over to himself today -- my churlish, angry, inner bratty child stamps her little foot and demands everyone but her do better. I wish I could adequately describe just how small minded and selfish she is. I'm not sure why she is such a rebellious little soul -- I must have really felt 'put upon' and corralled and stymied in what I could and couldn't do. I used to joke about not having a childhood, but perhaps there is more truth to that than I have given.

Back to the point -
Bratty Me - "Why can't he throw away this stuff on the entry table??!!!"

Adult Me - "Why haven't you thrown away YOUR junk mail, newspapers and put away the posters advertising the chorus show?"

Bratty Me - "I'm in the middle of a project... and HIS projects are half finished lying all over the house... with all the tools still out... you can't see the top of the tv entertainment unit because of all HIS crap *stamp stamp* !!!!!"

Adult Me - "Yes, you have a point (have to validate her a wee bit)... but since when did two wrongs make a right?"

Bratty Me - sulk sulk, folds arms, bottom lip out so far a bird is gonna build a nest....

Adult Me - looks at entry table, picks up most of the junk mail for him, picks up MY junk mail and it makes it into the trash.

A wise friend told me a few weeks ago that it sounds like I struggle with private integrity and maturity. I'm still revelling in the fact that I don't have a set bed time! That I can stay up as late as I want!! That I can eat ice cream for dinner if I want to!

Discipline is doing what you know you need to, even if you don't want to.

Very much relates to Godly Obedience. There is freedom in knowing the rules by which you live. So many "decisions" are already made for you. I do well with less choice (this is why I am a mostly Creative Memories scrapper -- my creativity is made more by working with less).

:break: you should see the amount of blood the mosquito I just smashed spilled... MY Blood!!! *muttering expletives* gnats.... flying biting bugs....!!!!!
:end break:

Yesterday I got up at 6:30 am - walked on the treadmill for 11 minutes, and started doing laundry. Morning is my time for chores -- I don't want to do anything at night besides watch tv, scrap, hang with himself, maybe a few dishes, and tons 'o computer time! I got to work and it was a fabulous day, because I knew I'd done my 'responsibilities.' Wednesday is my not-getting-up-any-earlier-day because I start work at 8:30 (as opposed to 10am). I felt worse today, but tomorrow I'm getting up early and walking on the treadmill for 15 minutes.

If my brother reads this -- know that I have no pride, and would have gladly accepted money from you to help me get to OKC this next time. And I'm not ashamed of having no pride with siblings... father is another matter...

That comment comes from a conversation I had earlier with my sister ~ who told me she and my niece are flying out a few days before said brother's wedding, going to San Diego Zoo, Sea World, and then after the wedding, they're going to Disneyland with dad and T. I was bummed I wasn't told about this earlier!! October's a busy month for me, but I would have done Sea World... :-(

And I called her to see what family stuff we might be doing around the wedding because I need to go pick up the mic stand I left in my Ontario hotel room back in August... my awesome friend went and picked it up from the hotel for me, and they only live a few minutes from where the wedding will be... have to find the invite....

now I'm just kind of rambling.

How does one simplify?!

only 7% of quiz takers were this...

I'm a Lamborghini Murcielago!

You're not subtle, but you don't want to be. Fast, loud, and dramatic, you want people to notice you, and then get out of the way. In a world full of sheep, you're a raging bull.

Take the Which Sports Car Are You? quiz.

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

It Is What It Is

That is my new philosophy.

The other one I like is asking myself the question,
"Who would I be if I didn't believe that to be true?" That being whatever negative & defeating thought currently going through my head.

Himself is at Loew's, buying the necessary (and probably unneccessary) bits and bobs of hardware to finish creating a theatre type atmosphere in our living room... We found Halloween Lights - rope lights that are lavender, to put up and around... so it will interesting what it eventually looks like. This is what it looks like now...




Last weekend I don't think himself even got dressed --




I taught a craft class, which of course I'd procrastinated on, but it went really well -- and was fun, as usual, working with the seniors at Fellowship Square.




I finished the big special project, but can't publish anything yet, because the event hasn't taken place yet.

I've been going absolutely stark raving mad with the tiny gnats flying around. Because of all the rain we had, we've also been infested with Mosquitos --- ARGHGHGGHGHHHHH.

I went to chorus for the first time in at least a month last Tuesday - we ran the second half of the show, which is the half I'll be in -- still have 3 songs I need to learn. *sigh*

I received some really nice feedback from one of the show committee chairwomen, she said that what I've done with getting groups (seniors) to come to the show has been the best result they've ever had. I'm all about recognition, so that was cool... yet inner committee comes back with "yeah, just think of what you could have done had you really spent more time on it -- it could have been so much better/ so many more!! Loser." So I try to counter with, "It is what it is, and I have done the best I can for the moment... and it is better than nothing, and better than we've ever done before!!" plthplthlphtlsplths (that's the official spelling of a raspberry...)!!!

And this is despite me having to give up half of what I'd been asked to do.

I made some AWESOME crockpot lasagne this week -- I tend to be even more lazy (hard to imagine) when it comes to cooking in the slow cooker... so browning meat before putting it in the crock is time intensive for me, but oh how worth it! And you don't cook the noodles (how much easier is that!!!) *darn gnats* -- cream cheese, sour cream.... himself loved it too - he hasn't really taken to the American Italian sauces that aren't cream sauce -- too sharp for his tastes, so this creamy tomato sauce was right up his ally.

Himself was going through some funky stuff at work, but it seems to have cleared up - he is going to be in the systems area of Le Cert software help desk, so that makes him a happy chappy!

And ~ we've decided we want to get a dog ~ probably from the pound or humane society... a dog that has been housebroken at least... we dog sat for mom & Larry for 10 days -- and we miss not being greeted with such enthusiasm at the door ;-)

turning a corner

It is amazing how your life looks different when you get your perspective in order.

Just getting outside yourself for a minute ... and it isn't like we don't *know* that ~ yet it isn't me who gets me out of the dark spiral.

God is an Awesome God!

September 11th - where were you?

5 years.

5 years ago today it was a sunny (yet still wet) day in the central belt of Scotland, and I was happy because we got out of college early and I was going to be able to get home to watch one of my favorite UK shows, "Watercolour Challenge" -- I came in the house, turned on the kettle and fixed myself a cup of tea and I think a sandwich of some kind... sat in the recliner, put my feet up and turned on the tv -- and when I turned on the telly it took me awhile to figure out what they were talking about.

I sat there, so far away in another country -- numb. It takes me awhile to understand my own emotions, and it wasn't until my good friend Wendy called me and asked if I was watching tv, and that she and her mum, Norma were on their way, that I started to cry. They stayed with me until himself got home. It was a cry of unbelief, to watch people jumping from windows to escape a fiery death. To hear about the plane crashes, and the thwarted but still fatal flight of United Airlines Flight 93 over Pennsylvania. To hear reports of people who were above the twin towers crash point, calling loved ones and having to leave messages.

I can't imagine being on the receiving end of getting home, knowing what is happening, picking up my voice mail, or seeing a flashing light indicating a message is waiting.... and hearing my loved one's voice. Incomprehensible for me. Oh God, the pain.

I wrote a list of thoughts & emotions from that day - it took me more than a week to reach out to friends who worked at the SWRO American Airlines reservations call center. To talk to any loved ones -- I felt removed, not everyone in the country I was living in was flying American Flags... but the British lost countrymen and women in the tragedy, and they were sympathetic and demonstrated their outrage and sadness. And a few British television personalities / reporters were callous enough to say that the Brits had been dealing with terrorism for years, essentially implying that we (Americans) needed to just get on with it... that we'd joined the rest of the world and that we were no longer untouched or unreachable from the fingers of terrorists.

Our young little country had quickly lost something.

We can never go back.

And now we can't have liquids (that we've brought ourselves) aboard an airplane. We wear slip-on shoes. Travel stopped being fun a long time ago, but now it is worse than a hassle. It is invasive. It is intrusive. It is a torment.

And this country, built on immigrants, is clamoring to close its borders, have one national language, and we're trying to hold on to our freedoms for life, in fear.

I'm not wallowing ~ but I am taking a moment to remember.

On this day of remembrance, dwell on those you love. Pick up the phone and let someone you love know that you love them. Choose the good stuff.

For us born after JFK was shot, and who are too young to remember Elvis' death, this is a defining of a generation... where were you on 9/11 2001?

September 1st

Well ~ I only managed to get one entry in August...
Here's a picture of my month... I put in some colored spots to edit a bit... but you can see there was a lot going on. I won't be able to talk about the surprise I've been working on for a few months ~ well, a couple of surprises, actually! But it has taken up my time, as well as taking on selling bulk tickets for the chorus for our show in October. My brother's getting married in October, and I am planning to go to Sweet Adelines International Convention in October. Thankfully, September is not quite as full!

I was sick all last week ~ I'm sure my feelings of being overwhelmed by all the things I'd said "Yes" to were contributing to my anger, depression... not to mention the hormones -- but that is over and that wave has disappeared and I'm back to my normal optimistic & sunny self (!)

Don't get me wrong ~ there is still a lot going on!

The two craft classes I've taught so far have gone really well ~ I've taken pictures of the participants with their cards, and it is awesome interacting with the seniors at Fellowship Square again. The singing is also going really well. I did a 5 song sing-along this past Wednesday, being sick and all... I usually perform better when I'm partially sick because I don't put that perfection pressure on myself (sometime I'll have to tell the story of Singing in Ireland at the IABS - Irish Assoc. of Barbershop Singers - contest with my UK quartet, "Steppin' Forth".. sick as a dog but still managing to bring home a huge medal...literally huge compared to the Sweet Adeline medals... 3rd place!).

Anyway -- we had much fun on Wednesday, and I'll make up the time with a longer performance in October.

I was thinking I'd put the cabaret singing on hold a little longer -- but himself has said that he thinks I shouldn't... that it will, in the next year or so, give me the freedom and even more importantly, the money, to do all these things I want to do. I just know in my heart that the minute I really commit to it, it will take off and I'll then (have to) be responsible, which strikes a bit 'o fear in my heart. A dream come true - performing for senior audiences... it might even lead to other, more prominent venues... and I see the snowball and doubt my readiness.

In some ways I'm quite afraid of committment -- there is that 'all or nothing' mentality that lies and says if I do this then I'll "never" do that... and well, I know that is a lie, but fear of missing out on something has stopped me from a number of opportunities, I think.

Anyway ~ I'm committed to doing five income-producing activities a day... or activities that will move my business forward... and exercising at least 3 times a week. The wedding is Oct 21st - so that gives me 6 weeks to lose a couple pounds -- and I have so much to lose I might even lose a whole size (or two) in that time, which would be phenomenal (did I spell that right?).

So -- I'm off to create!

Ostrich

I don't watch news. The information I get is what I read from the 5 headlines on the Yahoo home page, and the morning update on my radio station. Sometimes I click on stories to get more information, but the stories I click on are usually science or health related and so normally I avoid delving into more info on current events & the state of the world because it just creates fear.

Fear for the future. Fear for America. Fear for the world. Reading an editorial
in regards to the London Terror plot made me cry. It mentions that a moderate (read non-fanatic) muslim who reported an overheard conversation to a Brit, wouldn't sit down with an American to mention disturbing converstations he or she had overheard. See why I don't watch or listen to current events? It runs from ridiculous (how many days until Paris Hilton retires from public life?!) to terror-ific (the next attack on the West may be 10 years down the line).

Having lived in the UK has given me a MUCH broader scope of perspective. As frustrated as I was with the culture when living there, I did indeed feel safer than I do here in America. That seems so obvious as I write it... Great Brittain has survived, flourished, conquered, been conquered, survived and thrived for centuries... we, the colonists, are just young upstarts -- trying to prove ourselves and make lots of money, in a different age than when the Brits were doing their war-mongering and conquering. Nukes didn't exist. Instant news reports didn't exist.

One could make the argument that where we are today can be traced back to the crusades -- yes the crusades were bloody and horrible and unfair. Not to mention a long long long time ago... But the repercussions *then* -- well, no one was able to kill thousands of people with two airplanes and two high rise buildings. The world as we know *now* that we are dealing with -- have roots in the crusades, I would think. Hatred for a culture (Christians) being handed down from generation to generation, the stories growing as they were told over and over and over again...

I'm a Christian, so I'm supposed to replace the fear with faith, and 98% of the time I am able to do that -- I stick my head in the sandpit, ignore all the fear-mongering, hate, war.... and I get it that fear (even just 2% of it) paralyzes us (me), and stops us (me) from doing all the things that we (I) want to do. Himself's family lives in Scotland -- at this minute I don't ever want to get on an airplane again. Ever. I love travelling. I like flying, despite all the pains-in-the-a**e* of airplane travel.

Even if I take on the attitude of "If its your time its your time" -- which is what often gets me through fear -- and get on the plane, holy desert drought batman, NO WATER?! For 13+ hours?!! Or worse... what if himself has to fly without me to see them -- that separation invokes all sorts of horrible fearful feelings. The What If's take over and there the paralyzation begins, which then begets the 'why bother' attitude, which turns into depression because I'm not accomplishing anything.... and that is a crappy downward spiral I don't want to be in. again. Ignoring has worked well for me in being the person I want to be...

I also believe 100% that what we put out there is what we'll get back. Energy. Attitude. Hate. Love. Fear. Judgement. Do not judge lest you be judged. So Fear begets Fear. Love begets Love. The gentler energy takes more time, but like water on a stone (a la Beth Nielson Chapman song "Sand and water"), it eventually wins. Ultimately I'm an optimist with realistic tendencies (sounds like some kind of medical diagnosis).

I strongly dislike talking and discussing politics and world events -- it just brings to the surface my frustration, it shows my lack of knowledge and then I feel ignorant, and one thing I say I can't abide is purposeful ignorance. Well, guess what I'm doing when I bury my head in the sand? Guess I need to revisit that attitude ... (!) Mirror Mirror on the wall -- there is some quote or philosophy out there that says we hate in others what we hate in ourselves. Ta-Da!!

And my mom & step-dad are die-hard republicans, my dad & step-mom and half-brother are seriously die-hard democrats -- and according to my step-mom, it is okay being a conservative democrat, but not okay being a liberal republican. eh?!? The golden rule applies to both sides I guess - "Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You" -- but can anyone really live this ideal honestly, without judgement, without hypocrisy, without arrogance for being 'more moral' than everyone else... ?

My mom bought Crunchy Cons by Rod Dreher for me to read, as it seems to sum up a better idea of the kind of republican I would make if I put any effort into a political belief. I registered republican at 18 because my mother was... and boyfriend at the time rolled his eyes and said, "I knew it!" and I countered with the reason he had registered as a democrat... because his parents were. I guess he didn't want to argue about it.

And if you want to read something really interesting that will shake up some of your belief system (if you are a person of faith), take a look at this website by Brian Elroy McKinley.

I was doing a search on ultra conservative guy James Dobson and found Elroy's site. Sometimes the Religious Right invokes the same fear in me as other ultra groups... and reading recent Christian blogs has showed me it is okay to be a Christian AND a Democrat (Gasp!), which (here comes a major shift in thought) is why I'm so grateful for the internet! [hows that for a transition out of sticky religion/political crap, er... stuff?!!]

Net Neutrality. Here's a paper that is worth reading to help get what the issue is about and why it is important to us (me). And here is a site that tells you about it in less words. And here is another, better, even easier to understand analogy of the 'net and what net neutrality is. I'm not saying for or against, just we (and I do mean WE) all, who value the internet and what it has added to our lives -- or, er... distracted to our lives -- should be aware of regarding the issue.

This is longer than I anticipated, and if you're still reading -- if you don't know or understand where I'm coming from regarding the state of the world, and how God and faith is supposed to somehow be added into the mix -- well, welcome to my world. Now... where is that sandpit?

I've not done one of these before... kinda fun

You Are a Blue Flower

A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance. At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower. And at other times, you are wise like an iris. And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea.

What Color Flower Are You?

Scotland in Arizona

It is 10:30 am and I can't see the mountains that surround Tucson because of the low clouds -- it is dark, not a blue speck of sky to be seen -- that is why it is similar to Scotland, except the temperature of course... the temperature here is in the 80s ~ with as much humidity, probably... At 11:30 last night the sky was alight with lightening, and thunder cracking right over the house -- truly awesome. When I think the voice of God is like thunder, well, it makes one quiver a bit, eh?!

Its been awhile since I've felt like sharing thoughts that weren't a pity party. I put a little note on the wall above my monitor that says "Stop Whining" - You Asked To Be Busy - be Grateful for so many OPPORTUNITIES! And then posted some time limits on things I need to work on every day for me to fulfill obligations I've signed up for (chorus, quartet, craft class, housework, scrapping, singing for the seniors, block ticket sales for the show in October, booking for Glen for next spring). It has helped adjust my attitude quite a bit -- just need those visual reminders.

The new job is going kinda slowly. There is such a learning curve in the world of insurance -- and I'm sure each company has its own jargon ~ and just learning enough to do my little corner of it makes me so thankful I didn't get that job with Geico a couple years ago. The gals in my office are fun -- the one who is my comrade in the scrapbook addiction was diagnosed with breast cancer last week, and is having her lumpectomy today -- thankfully it is small -- but please say a little prayer for her if you're reading this. I have to admit the job doesn't thrill me, but the steady 15 hours a week paycheck is a nice assurance that I'll have money dedicated to paying my car payment... so I'm so grateful and very blessed to be there. And I do really enjoy the ladies in the office! And I think my little PT Cruiser is just the bees knees, so every time I drive it I'm thankful!

I desperately need to get a hair cut -- it is beyond ridiculous at this point -- but so easy to just stick it up and go without washing it for (more than) a few days.... ewwwweeeeee. And it gets this long and I think what a shame to cut it ~ but ya know, its hot, and a bother, and I never wear it down for those reasons -- I mean, with long hair I always end up getting it stuck underneath whatever bag I'm carrying on my shoulder, which hurts, tears more hair out... and did I mention hurts... so it takes me forever to grab my bag and go... especially if I'm in the car ~ which takes me forever to get out of anyway, *without* any hair issues to add to the time. Does anyone else give such thought to something that is really so very minor?!! And lets not even talk about the gray ~ yikes. Himself's shows up worse because of his dark hair, but there are clusters on either sides of my temples that betray how much I have... and what is this all about when these grays show up in my eyebrows?!

Okay, enough about the hair :-)

I'm going to stay with an old college roomate when I go out to Ontario for Sweet Adelines Region 21 Summer Regional the first weekend in August -- I called her, as I do every year or two out of the blue.. she's not got email, she's terrible about writing or calling, so I'm (she's?) just lucky she doesn't move around a lot and her phone number stays the same. She was one of the roomies - when 3 of us shared a room, but she wasn't there on the weekends generally, and her boyfriend (now husband) would come and stay on our floor on the Friday night before they would go home to Arcadia for the weekend... We teased him about being our 6th roomie...

On the way back to Arizona I'm going to stay with a former expat friend I met while in Scotland ~ haven't seen her since she came out to Arizona last year and we spent a day and 1/2 scrapping in a hotel in Phoenix. It'll be great to connect with her again, too.

Lots of fun stuff coming up with coaching for the quartet, and coaching opportunities at educational weekends ~ we're trying to learn Christmas music to fundraise for ourselves this holiday season, so its nice looking at some new (and easier) music.

Himself's job didn't go where we were hoping it would after his temporary stint in Quicken Beta Testing... he didn't speak up fast enough -- or loud enough, for that matter. He may end up getting something I think will be better... but that still remains to be seen, and it means he still has to be back on the phones for a month or so ~ which is always hard if you've been off of them for awhile. He still loves the company, the job etc... so not complaining at all!!!

We're slowly getting the house together ~ we're obtaining a *free* 3-year old King Size bed this weekend, so we'll have an extra double bed which will eventually go into storage, but we have some work to do before we put it out there, and working in the storage unit at the side of the house in this heat is just, well, stupid. Too hot -- wayyyy too hot. The sleeping in separate double beds in the same room has been a successful experiment, but I think having a bed almost twice the size of the original double bed we were sharing will rid us of some of the issues himself was having with me -- mainly that I'm not a peaceful, easy, feminine or gentle sleeper. Whacking him up the side of the head, or in the middle of his back... well, just par for the course on some nights -- poor guy!! And we'll have the guest bed set up for nights when his or my snoring is just too much.

Gotta get to work now -- a ton 'o stuff to do today!

What an awesome storm

And it was right over the house. As I left work I was heading toward the lightening that looked as if it were hitting the ground... or my house! Serious thunder, heavy rain, hardly any visibility... I sat outside and got wet ~ it was incredible. One of the many things I missed when I lived in Scotland was summer storms like this!!

Work was slow -- I thought I was going to start making calls today, but no -- perhaps tomorrow.

I'm playing hookey from chorus tonight -- feeling overwhelmed with all that stuff going on ~ am thinking of dropping out of the show, still working on the committees etc... - staying active as a member except for the learning of 12+ new songs before October 28th... then go back in January for contest. Still working hard on the management board and doing my thing there, but just not going to stand for 3+ hours in a small room with 70 women for 3 hours in the middle of summer in Arizona. I'm really wussing out on the heat thing. I just can't take it, and I'm getting to the point that I'm not going to force myself.

I'm getting my performing fix with my singing for the seniors and within my quartet. :-) God is so Good!!

Himself is going to give me $1,000 to pay off my credit card - which still leaves me $500 for stamps (and crafts)!!!

Teaching the craft class on Saturday was really really fun! I had 12 residents, who all gave great feedback, and I think almost all of them will return for next month's class. We did cards, I'd pre-stamped 3 flower images per attendee, gave 3 folded cards with matching envelopes and 5 background colors. We then did watercolor pencil technique, which they'd never done before, and thought that was really awesome... and in general were very enthusiastic. I met with my former boss for lunch yesterday and we discussed the future of the craft classes - one a month between now and the end of the year, singing July, August, October & December for the birthday party, and then hopefully starting with scrapbooking classes in the new year. With some more money for my own stuff, I'll be able to create some more projects for the classes, which is exciting.

Back to my CA trip: It was also so awesome seeing my friend from 2nd grade in California - her mom and her children. It wasn't awkward at all -- and there is nothing like old friends. I'm so very grateful for good friends. That being said, I really miss my pal who is living in China now -- I spent 4 days scrapping with her at her folks in Tracy, and when I think about it too much, I start to cry because I don't have anyone like her in my life that lives ... like... on the same continent even!

Which brings me to some thoughts -- we are all so busy -- we get to know each other because we're working on the same project, or committee, or small group -- but how often do we take the time to get to know someone over a cup of coffee, sitting for 3 hours at Starbucks (I was lucky and did that with a gal from chorus a few months ago)...?!! I know I overschedule myself because then I don' t have to spend time with myself ~ the self that is the negative inner voice constantly criticizing and tearing myself down -- by keeping things really busy I don't have time to just be. Yet I also then don't have time to just BE with my coffee, my Bible, my praise music or my friends.

And this is typical for me -- get myself involved with a zillion things and then drop most of them because I'm burned out. Scrapping and Singing -- with a side of stamping and crafting, oh, and booking another entertainer... and trying to pick up after himself (why can't his clothes be piled on the clothes hamper?!), and keep my floors reasonable, along with keeping up with a much larger house now. I need to have a conversation with himself about this -- where our responsibilities lie, but these conversations usually have to take place on weekends because we're both tired and on the grumpy side during the week... but I've been gone. Another reason to cut back a bit.

I hope I can just ride this one out (because it usually is a wave to ride... these feelings), and get back to normal busy in a couple days.

And how cool was it to pay my first car payment with my paycheck wages that were in our Credit Union account today?!! Excellently Cool!

Back!!

What a week!!!

I scrapped for 38 hours Friday - Monday -- yay!! Got lots of pages done, and more stuff to do more pages! It was awesome seeing my pal who now lives in China, stay with her mom & dad (her dad washed my car, even!), and just have nothing to do but scrap.

I then went to Sacramento to see my favorite cousin (second cousin, really) -- and what a world of difference. On the way up I called one of my oldest friends (have known her since 2nd grade, Parkview Elementary when it was new, in San Jose, CA) and arranged to see her Thursday night for dinner and saw her mom (who hasn't hardly changed), her two kids, and her husband. It was a fabulous night.

Back to my cousins -- I love her so dearly, and when I was in my 20's I could handle the chaos that is her life and her house, but as I'm aging, I realize that I can't take it for as long. This will be an annual trek to California, but 3 nights is too long. My heart aches for her -- she is raising her 3 year old grandson, who has some developmental delays, but is a sweet boy. Two of her three daughters are not coping with life very well, and the one who is coping terrifically only can do so because of the boundaries she has to set with her mother.

And what a woman of faith. There is such a sweetness to her, and such love, and such generosity of spirit and of self. I want to go in and wave my magic wand and fix it all. Yet my own house isn't in order... I haven't got my own routines set yet, but I did leave her with the 15 minute magic rule! And perhaps it will help.

I taught a craft class Saturday at my former place of work, and it went really really well!! Today I've paid some bills, went and got some more storage solutions, and made a long list of things to do, some of which I've done -- some of which I dread, and some are just never ending. But life is good. Oh so good. I'm busy and I love it. God is so good. Himself still surprises me with the depth of his feelings... he doesn't give a flip about 95% of anything I say or do, so when he does I'm floored... oblivious, really.

I'm trying to avoid being the middle person between our landlady (my mother) and himself... and in trying to avoid a huge karfuffle, I hurt his feelings, and have felt crappy about it since I found out. I couldn't figure out why he was aloof and kinda rude with me earlier this morning (I was just making lunch) -- and so I harbored all sorts of dark, stormy thoughts of all the things wrong with HIM (hrumph!), and then when he told me why he was upset -- HOURS later.... so like a man (!!) I felt bad. I've apologized, but it seems there is a bit of trust gone. argh. I wish he'd told me AT THE TIME, so we could have worked it out... but no, he let it fester and is now being kinda childish altogether and refuses to have a conversation with the landlady about it. 'm frustrated so I'm not as nicey nice as I probably should be with the male bruised ego. But as I said, there is so little he cares about that I care deeply and don't know how to handle it... I want to fix it.

And I thought I want children. I've got one already.

I'm at a loss.