I know it has been awhile

How did this month go by so fast?! I've broken out with a cold sore... ouch. And it is a doozy. It tried to break out a week or so before himiself's party and I kept catching it with Campho-Phenique, but I could feel it really breaking free (so to speak) on Tuesday night at chorus and now it is just gross & disgusting and quite painful.

Aren't you thrilled to hear about it?

Last night himself & I watched "Serenity" and "Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit" -- both were fun! Serenity is by Joss Whedon (Buffy creator), who created the "Firefly" tv series that failed, but of course has a cult following. It is a shame it was not picked up, 'cause it has some good stuff in it! And Wallace & Gromit...what's not to like? Gotta buy it.

What else have we been doing? Well -- I've scrapped quite a few pages, both for myself and my client, which is good.

I've had a lunch meeting regarding purchasing a business -- teaching crafts to residents in assisted care homes for $45 an hour. Hello! Crafts! Senior Citizens! Crafts! The lady trying to sell it is one of those genuinely sweet, not-an-unkind-bone-in-her-body person, but she isn't one to be pushed around, either. She and a friend started this business about 8 years ago, her friend sold her share to this lady, and so now she's been doing it for about 7 years on her own, and she's looking to retire. As it is now, she's only working 20 - 25 hours a week every other month because she's been taking a break (she's been searching for someone to buy it for about 2 years now). She has already laid the foundation... marketed herself and the product, she has connections in the community and her market (senior care homes), and has paperwork and structure already in place, and the price is reasonable.

The risk that himself sees is that the business is successful because of this lady. SHE is the force behind the success... it is her personality and life that has built this successful business. And yes, he knows how much the residents at Fellowship Square loved me, and doesn't doubt that I have the potential to be highly successful at this -- but, what if most of these care homes then change their minds about having someone new come in... or after a month decide I'm not working out -- I'm left with a substantial debt/loan and nothing in place to pay it off.

So this week I'm meeting her again and I'll re-introduce the concept that I work for her for a year - she receives $45 an hour, she could pay me $20 and I'm doing all the work -- and then between 6 months and a year I've saved enough money to buy her out, all the while I'm establishing myself as the primary force of the business, but with a cushion of her experience and reputation. We see this as Win Win -- she'll be making $25 an hour really just in an advisory position. And I'm sure it can work out that I'll still be an independent contractor, so she won't have to worry about payroll and stuff like that.

Let's see... what else... we had extra coaching last week with Marcia Massey of Oklahoma City Chorus -- she's super talented... but I was having a huge pity party for myself on the risers. I was hot, tired, my back ached, my feet hurt, the lady who is directly in front of me on ther risers sits on a chair that has a back on it, the lady on my right sometimes forgot to put her elbow down and it was kinda bony, the water bottle in the apron of the gal behind me was in my way... none of those things by itself is a problem -- I'm the fat one who keeps bumping into them, but you know how sometimes nothing you say to yourself helps? I was frustrated because the choreography was being changed as we were going along... then changed, then the rhythms weren't being remembered and so we as a group would start repeating incorrect rhythms, and then we'd get yelled at for it (grrrrrr......) -- and I was still hot, tired, aching back & feet, couldn't put my arms in front of me for bumping into chair lady, couldn't put my arms in back of me for bumping in waterbottle lady.... and I KNEW I was being unreasonable, grumpy, self-centered (gee -- no one else was crowded or tired on the risers... ).

Then there are the things I'm frustrated with that are not appropriate to put out there in cyberspace --

But then I whined and griped and vented and feel better. I get frustrated with myself at times like this because I *know* better, but still *feel* that way -- and am learning I have to get it out... *understanding* something isn't *Getting It* (per Rhonda, Life Coach - lesson to Christie on Starting Over this week) -- Understanding something in my head isn't Really Getting It so that I can make a change of living that way. But I digress.

The bass of my quartet is awesome -- she let me whine for a while... and then yesterday I went to Curves (only made it twice this week, but ya know... this was the 4th week in-a-row(!) that I'd been to work out and while it wasn't perfect, and I gained weight (!!!), I still feel good about it), and saw a gal from chorus also working out, and she and I went and had coffee afterwards for what was essentially 2 1/2 hours!! It was so fun!

Himself and I have talked a lot about moving to the house I grew up in -- we won't know more until we know if he's going to be hired as full time permanent -- but it seems he's having some second thoughts on renting it for awhile until we have a better financial backup. That puts me all in a flutter, so things are just in a state of flux, and I'll have to trust and have faith that things will work out the way they are supposed to. Easier said than done!

Himself was kept back about 15 minutes Friday night after work to be told how great he is doing. His team coach showed him his stats (which the company doesn't really 'go on' as far as rating how an employee is doing, but just to show him that his numbers are going in the right direction), and generally tell him what a star he is. The coach mentioned something about himself needing to teach others his 'Scottish Charm' -- *heh heh - I KNEW it!* -- and that the coach is going to have some people 'Y-in' or 'double-jack' or 'listen in with him' on calls. So himself's feeling really good, and just thankful to be at a company which recognizes and appreciates in tangible ways their good employees.

I'm asking for self-discipline, a change of heart to accomplish the financial goals I've set for myself in order to contribute to our household, and to do all things with a joyful heart.

Be A Pioneer In Your Own Life

Isn't that cool to think about? What does it mean?!

YAY!!

Himself's surprise was a real surprise. I was stressing so much I started getting a cold sore, however! On Saturday I went to the party store to get decorations, I went to Cost Plus World Market to get some British Goodies (Heinz beans in tomato sauce, namely for $1.79 a can- yikes!), some Cadbury candy bars (toffee crisp, double decker, flake, crunchie...), and Pickled Onions. Then I went to the Tudor Rose Tea Room, where half the restaurant is a 'corner market' and I bought 2 bottles of Irn Bru, Black Pudding, Tattie Scones, Irish Sausage & British Bacon. I also found Walker's crisps (Wooster sauce flavored), and cheaper Cadbury chocolate. And GRAVY GRANULES... whoo hoo!! Stovies, here we come! I should make that for dinner tonight :-)

Saturday night I had a surprise party for my chorus director to go to, so I left two bags of these British Groceries out for himself -- with a note saying this was the beginning of his Birthday Weekend... and as incentive to get up earlier on his only day off, to cook a 'proper fry up' breakfast. He knew we had lunch reservations at PF Changs at 12:15pm. So we had breakfast at 9am, and so eating at 12:15 wasn't impossible... he's thinking that is all his birthday is really going to amount to...

We had a chocolate cake with a candle at the restaurant, sang Happy Birthday, and while I'd told him there was something else going on that day, he really thought that was it. We're walking out of the restaurant and he says, "So, home then?" And I (gleefully) replied, "Yep!"

His fortune cookie said something about he would be receiving an unexpected visitor, to which I replied, "I wish!" -- and went on about wishing I'd had more time and blah blah blah...

When we sped past our usual parking spot at the complex, he gave me a funny look and said, "What's that all about?" to which I replied, "Well, this is the part when it is hard to make up anything reasonable, so just follow me.... we're heading to the clubhouse." He spies the red & black crepe paper, the "Happy Birthday" sign on the wall and a balloon... and wants to run away. Luckily, I suspected he might bolt, so I am holding his hand.... he says, "Is this for.... me?" And relunctantly walks in the door, where Ann is waiting to take a picture of him... and he walks around the corner and about 30 people are waiting. His worst nightmare, really.

It was a bit awkward for about 30 seconds, and then he realizes he knows some of the people, that relatives are there, as well as some good friends, and friends he hasn't seen since he's been living in the states... I have scrapbook albums out for people to look out while waiting for us to arrive... our wedding album, the 2002 album, the 'Scotland Overview' album, as well as our 5 year anniversary album and his paintball album. This, if I say so myself, was an inspired idea because it gave people an idea of what our life was like, what our wedding was about (and it has how we met, as well as photos of the Scottish wedding in North Berwick etc...).

The radio dedication came out, and drat - the recording didn't work out! But we all heard it, and some people welled up (me included) - and himself was just mortified... but his embarrassment wasn't to be over yet.

At 3pm we cut the cake (some guests had already had to leave by now... so I didn't get pictures of Gail & Karl, for example) & sang Happy Birthday.


The Valentine Quartet came and thoroughly embarrassed him, if he wasn't embarrassed enough...
And then it was time for gifts ~ people who asked me what to get him I told to get him Best Buy gift vouchers ~ so he's raking in enough (along with the recognition vouchers he's already received from Intuit for doing such an outstanding job so far...) to get a pretty decent surround sound stereo/theatre system for our entertainment center when we move out of the apartment and into a house...

The Haggis I'd ordered online had arrived on Wednesday, so I hid it in the fridge all week, and then re-wrapped it with the freeze pack and styrofoam... so he was well-pleased with that! I'd kept his mum & sister's b/day cards back and gave them to him with all the other gifts. He received a funny gag gift from Rosalie and John, and some "Old Fart" beans from the Brubakers, a great cactus arrangement from Gail & Karl, another Rocket from Mary... (!), and a Buffalo Wings restaurant gift card from Shari, and mom's red fleece from LL Bean will be arriving hopefully before tomorrow...

The party started breaking up around 3:45 or so, and we had things cleaned up (with much appreciated help from Mary & Marcia, not to mention Mom, Larry & Dan) by around 4:45.

It was so much fun, and as usual, you don't get to spend a lot of time with anyone... but it does increase my intention to make a bigger effort to make plans with good friends and get out and see them.

I'm exhausted, and now need to get back to real life! er... fun work!! :-)

Where DOES the time go?!!

It is Valentines Day coming up ~ which is also himself's 40th birthday. Yikes. Starting today we'll be starting healthier eating (I won't use Diet because we really need to make some permanent changes). And I'm going to dust off the treadmill --

I feel like I've lost another week. I've been playing with technology... putting all of the quartet coaching sessions, along with my private lesson with Kim onto CD Roms to share with my quartet members, and have been losing time at the computer.

I'm breaking out with cold sore upon cold sore because I'm not doing the scrapping I need to be.

The stuff I'm doing isn't wasting time, necessarily, but what I'm doing isn't contributing to the household, that is for sure.

Crap. And I need to research Ferrets for Jon. ta ta!

Well!! What a weekend! Our quartet, Hearts Afire, had a great coaching session with Jana Gutenson, baritone of Scottsdale Chorus. Our first coaching session felt like we (at least to Carol & I) were just yelling, but now that I've had a lesson with Kim Hulbert, I understand better the vocal production issues at hand, and how to safely achieve that forward sound Jana is after. I think if bass Carol has voice lessons with Chandler, AZ resident Charla Esser, she'll find her voice -- and her vocal production challenges overcome. This second session was excellent in Barbershop Interp ~ making the song a higher scoring song with "Putting Points In The Bank" or, the scoresheet. I was quite exhausted on Monday, though. It is truly amazing how singing uses mind and body.

Monday night I went with good friends Marie & Rosalie to visit the Foothills Women's Chorus. This is a chorus I've had a small bit of history with in the past, and former Arizona Rose company member K M's mom is still a member. Ann M has a thousand-watt smile, and she is one of the kindest, sweetest people I know. She had called up Fellowship Square last year as the chorus's 'get gigs' person, and I spoke to her -- it was that conversation awhile back that was partly responsible to what led next... she is currently working as an independent contractor for senior citizen assisted living places as an occupational therapist who reaches them via crafts. She goes in for an hour, charges anywhere from $30 to $50 and teaches crafts. But she says that hour spent with them could be anything... music (scrapbooking - which is in the craft family), anything, really. She has a structure already in place, she has places that know her and trust her, and she's been wanting to let it go, but doesn't want to leave these people without anyone to follow in her footsteps.

And she says I'd be a perfect replacement! I sing, I craft, and I've been an Activities Person! Right now she's working 20 hours a week, but that is flexible. So she & I are meeting for lunch next week so she can talk to me more in depth about what it involves, and kinda walk me through things.

And I wasn't going to go to the chorus last night with my friends because I was tired (!!) God is so good.

So today I've been recording the coaching sessions onto the pc to create CD's for all quartet members, and have been filing papers and throwing away papers that have been stacking up. I will go do himself's laundry and go to Curves as soon as the Charla session is through recording, and then it is chorus night. I'm also planning to join Weight Watchers online, so need to plan something for himself's dinner.

Life Changes

I've just added some links related to a new tv show I've started TiVoing called "Starting Over" ~ it has 6 women living in a house with 2 life coaches -- dealing with trying to improve their lives and how to action the changes. I've just spent 45 minutes looking at the related websites, and some good stuff there.

On an unrelated note before I forget: Robert Scorpio showed up on General Hospital!!! I've not watched soaps since returning, but seeing that made me go search the ABC soap site and catch up on characters and story lines... man, that was an hour lost!

And I wonder where my day goes............. ANYHOOO...........

Okay ~ I believe that we have everything we need to be who we want to be inside us. God has given us the tools, the desire, the capabilities, the resources, the knowledge and the vision. We just have to trust-- make decisions based upon faith and trust - not fear. (Did you know fear is the main motivator for a lot of actions we take? It is usually what is behind our anger, our prejudices... all of our negative emotions can usually be traced back to some kind of fear)

For me, the journey between the head and the heart is years. Knowing something vs. Living something. For example: I know my eating limit. I know when I'm pleasantly satisfied. I know I can eat again soon. Yet I stuff myself. My heart is asking to be numbed, there is some issue I don't want to face. I do not conciously know what that issue is (at any particular moment or instance of overeating), but when tears come late at night without specific cause, I then know there is pain somewhere that I'm denying.

Who knew it would be so hard to find balance. And, once (if) found, balance would need work to stay that way! hrmph.

This is just really rambling now... random thoughts not strung together in a way that makes sense. Welcome to my mind :-)

I went to Curves yesterday -- YAY* -- *pats self on back* and will go this afternoon at 3pm.

Have to work on himself's birthday....