Wednesday, March 29, 2006

doldrums

I don't even know what to say.

Yesterday was a great day.

The day before that was a great day.

I had an amazingly productive weekend.

I'm emotionally exhausted and depressed today.

I just want to crawl back in bed.

Have I taken on too many things? *One would think YES!*

And I have no money.

All my ideas will bring in money, but trying to get anything up and running to get to that money-making point is just overwhelming. Therefore I hide away.

I keep thinking I've not done/ am not doing enough -- of whatever I'm involved in, I feel like I lack contribution, or could have done more. Every day I feel like I've not done enough of whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing. I have listed affirmations on my bathroom mirror... yet my internal dialogue (or inner committee as I heard someone refer to it once) is constantly knocking me down.

I know this is just a mood. In my head I understand that. Yet, knowing that, I lack the self-discipline to get off my ass and move -- activity is the answer to this temporary lack of enthusiasm, but therein lies the problem... a circle of inactivity leading to more and more inactivity. This is a perfect example of what I do to sabatoge myself and my goals. To do something even if I don't feel like doing it... that is the discipline I lack *resigning sigh*

Tomorrow is another day.

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