| You Are a Blue Flower |
 A blue flower tends to represent peace, openness, and balance. At times, you are very delicate like a cornflower. And at other times, you are wise like an iris. And more than you wish, you're a little cold, like a blue hydrangea. |
Friday, July 28, 2006
I've not done one of these before... kinda fun
Scotland in Arizona
It is 10:30 am and I can't see the mountains that surround Tucson because of the low clouds -- it is dark, not a blue speck of sky to be seen -- that is why it is similar to Scotland, except the temperature of course... the temperature here is in the 80s ~ with as much humidity, probably... At 11:30 last night the sky was alight with lightening, and thunder cracking right over the house -- truly awesome. When I think the voice of God is like thunder, well, it makes one quiver a bit, eh?!
Its been awhile since I've felt like sharing thoughts that weren't a pity party. I put a little note on the wall above my monitor that says "Stop Whining" - You Asked To Be Busy - be Grateful for so many OPPORTUNITIES! And then posted some time limits on things I need to work on every day for me to fulfill obligations I've signed up for (chorus, quartet, craft class, housework, scrapping, singing for the seniors, block ticket sales for the show in October, booking for Glen for next spring). It has helped adjust my attitude quite a bit -- just need those visual reminders.
The new job is going kinda slowly. There is such a learning curve in the world of insurance -- and I'm sure each company has its own jargon ~ and just learning enough to do my little corner of it makes me so thankful I didn't get that job with Geico a couple years ago. The gals in my office are fun -- the one who is my comrade in the scrapbook addiction was diagnosed with breast cancer last week, and is having her lumpectomy today -- thankfully it is small -- but please say a little prayer for her if you're reading this. I have to admit the job doesn't thrill me, but the steady 15 hours a week paycheck is a nice assurance that I'll have money dedicated to paying my car payment... so I'm so grateful and very blessed to be there. And I do really enjoy the ladies in the office! And I think my little PT Cruiser is just the bees knees, so every time I drive it I'm thankful!
I desperately need to get a hair cut -- it is beyond ridiculous at this point -- but so easy to just stick it up and go without washing it for (more than) a few days.... ewwwweeeeee. And it gets this long and I think what a shame to cut it ~ but ya know, its hot, and a bother, and I never wear it down for those reasons -- I mean, with long hair I always end up getting it stuck underneath whatever bag I'm carrying on my shoulder, which hurts, tears more hair out... and did I mention hurts... so it takes me forever to grab my bag and go... especially if I'm in the car ~ which takes me forever to get out of anyway, *without* any hair issues to add to the time. Does anyone else give such thought to something that is really so very minor?!! And lets not even talk about the gray ~ yikes. Himself's shows up worse because of his dark hair, but there are clusters on either sides of my temples that betray how much I have... and what is this all about when these grays show up in my eyebrows?!
Okay, enough about the hair :-)
I'm going to stay with an old college roomate when I go out to Ontario for Sweet Adelines Region 21 Summer Regional the first weekend in August -- I called her, as I do every year or two out of the blue.. she's not got email, she's terrible about writing or calling, so I'm (she's?) just lucky she doesn't move around a lot and her phone number stays the same. She was one of the roomies - when 3 of us shared a room, but she wasn't there on the weekends generally, and her boyfriend (now husband) would come and stay on our floor on the Friday night before they would go home to Arcadia for the weekend... We teased him about being our 6th roomie...
On the way back to Arizona I'm going to stay with a former expat friend I met while in Scotland ~ haven't seen her since she came out to Arizona last year and we spent a day and 1/2 scrapping in a hotel in Phoenix. It'll be great to connect with her again, too.
Lots of fun stuff coming up with coaching for the quartet, and coaching opportunities at educational weekends ~ we're trying to learn Christmas music to fundraise for ourselves this holiday season, so its nice looking at some new (and easier) music.
Himself's job didn't go where we were hoping it would after his temporary stint in Quicken Beta Testing... he didn't speak up fast enough -- or loud enough, for that matter. He may end up getting something I think will be better... but that still remains to be seen, and it means he still has to be back on the phones for a month or so ~ which is always hard if you've been off of them for awhile. He still loves the company, the job etc... so not complaining at all!!!
We're slowly getting the house together ~ we're obtaining a *free* 3-year old King Size bed this weekend, so we'll have an extra double bed which will eventually go into storage, but we have some work to do before we put it out there, and working in the storage unit at the side of the house in this heat is just, well, stupid. Too hot -- wayyyy too hot. The sleeping in separate double beds in the same room has been a successful experiment, but I think having a bed almost twice the size of the original double bed we were sharing will rid us of some of the issues himself was having with me -- mainly that I'm not a peaceful, easy, feminine or gentle sleeper. Whacking him up the side of the head, or in the middle of his back... well, just par for the course on some nights -- poor guy!! And we'll have the guest bed set up for nights when his or my snoring is just too much.
Gotta get to work now -- a ton 'o stuff to do today!
Its been awhile since I've felt like sharing thoughts that weren't a pity party. I put a little note on the wall above my monitor that says "Stop Whining" - You Asked To Be Busy - be Grateful for so many OPPORTUNITIES! And then posted some time limits on things I need to work on every day for me to fulfill obligations I've signed up for (chorus, quartet, craft class, housework, scrapping, singing for the seniors, block ticket sales for the show in October, booking for Glen for next spring). It has helped adjust my attitude quite a bit -- just need those visual reminders.
The new job is going kinda slowly. There is such a learning curve in the world of insurance -- and I'm sure each company has its own jargon ~ and just learning enough to do my little corner of it makes me so thankful I didn't get that job with Geico a couple years ago. The gals in my office are fun -- the one who is my comrade in the scrapbook addiction was diagnosed with breast cancer last week, and is having her lumpectomy today -- thankfully it is small -- but please say a little prayer for her if you're reading this. I have to admit the job doesn't thrill me, but the steady 15 hours a week paycheck is a nice assurance that I'll have money dedicated to paying my car payment... so I'm so grateful and very blessed to be there. And I do really enjoy the ladies in the office! And I think my little PT Cruiser is just the bees knees, so every time I drive it I'm thankful!
I desperately need to get a hair cut -- it is beyond ridiculous at this point -- but so easy to just stick it up and go without washing it for (more than) a few days.... ewwwweeeeee. And it gets this long and I think what a shame to cut it ~ but ya know, its hot, and a bother, and I never wear it down for those reasons -- I mean, with long hair I always end up getting it stuck underneath whatever bag I'm carrying on my shoulder, which hurts, tears more hair out... and did I mention hurts... so it takes me forever to grab my bag and go... especially if I'm in the car ~ which takes me forever to get out of anyway, *without* any hair issues to add to the time. Does anyone else give such thought to something that is really so very minor?!! And lets not even talk about the gray ~ yikes. Himself's shows up worse because of his dark hair, but there are clusters on either sides of my temples that betray how much I have... and what is this all about when these grays show up in my eyebrows?!
Okay, enough about the hair :-)
I'm going to stay with an old college roomate when I go out to Ontario for Sweet Adelines Region 21 Summer Regional the first weekend in August -- I called her, as I do every year or two out of the blue.. she's not got email, she's terrible about writing or calling, so I'm (she's?) just lucky she doesn't move around a lot and her phone number stays the same. She was one of the roomies - when 3 of us shared a room, but she wasn't there on the weekends generally, and her boyfriend (now husband) would come and stay on our floor on the Friday night before they would go home to Arcadia for the weekend... We teased him about being our 6th roomie...
On the way back to Arizona I'm going to stay with a former expat friend I met while in Scotland ~ haven't seen her since she came out to Arizona last year and we spent a day and 1/2 scrapping in a hotel in Phoenix. It'll be great to connect with her again, too.
Lots of fun stuff coming up with coaching for the quartet, and coaching opportunities at educational weekends ~ we're trying to learn Christmas music to fundraise for ourselves this holiday season, so its nice looking at some new (and easier) music.
Himself's job didn't go where we were hoping it would after his temporary stint in Quicken Beta Testing... he didn't speak up fast enough -- or loud enough, for that matter. He may end up getting something I think will be better... but that still remains to be seen, and it means he still has to be back on the phones for a month or so ~ which is always hard if you've been off of them for awhile. He still loves the company, the job etc... so not complaining at all!!!
We're slowly getting the house together ~ we're obtaining a *free* 3-year old King Size bed this weekend, so we'll have an extra double bed which will eventually go into storage, but we have some work to do before we put it out there, and working in the storage unit at the side of the house in this heat is just, well, stupid. Too hot -- wayyyy too hot. The sleeping in separate double beds in the same room has been a successful experiment, but I think having a bed almost twice the size of the original double bed we were sharing will rid us of some of the issues himself was having with me -- mainly that I'm not a peaceful, easy, feminine or gentle sleeper. Whacking him up the side of the head, or in the middle of his back... well, just par for the course on some nights -- poor guy!! And we'll have the guest bed set up for nights when his or my snoring is just too much.
Gotta get to work now -- a ton 'o stuff to do today!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
What an awesome storm
And it was right over the house. As I left work I was heading toward the lightening that looked as if it were hitting the ground... or my house! Serious thunder, heavy rain, hardly any visibility... I sat outside and got wet ~ it was incredible. One of the many things I missed when I lived in Scotland was summer storms like this!!
Work was slow -- I thought I was going to start making calls today, but no -- perhaps tomorrow.
I'm playing hookey from chorus tonight -- feeling overwhelmed with all that stuff going on ~ am thinking of dropping out of the show, still working on the committees etc... - staying active as a member except for the learning of 12+ new songs before October 28th... then go back in January for contest. Still working hard on the management board and doing my thing there, but just not going to stand for 3+ hours in a small room with 70 women for 3 hours in the middle of summer in Arizona. I'm really wussing out on the heat thing. I just can't take it, and I'm getting to the point that I'm not going to force myself.
I'm getting my performing fix with my singing for the seniors and within my quartet. :-) God is so Good!!
Himself is going to give me $1,000 to pay off my credit card - which still leaves me $500 for stamps (and crafts)!!!
Teaching the craft class on Saturday was really really fun! I had 12 residents, who all gave great feedback, and I think almost all of them will return for next month's class. We did cards, I'd pre-stamped 3 flower images per attendee, gave 3 folded cards with matching envelopes and 5 background colors. We then did watercolor pencil technique, which they'd never done before, and thought that was really awesome... and in general were very enthusiastic. I met with my former boss for lunch yesterday and we discussed the future of the craft classes - one a month between now and the end of the year, singing July, August, October & December for the birthday party, and then hopefully starting with scrapbooking classes in the new year. With some more money for my own stuff, I'll be able to create some more projects for the classes, which is exciting.
Back to my CA trip: It was also so awesome seeing my friend from 2nd grade in California - her mom and her children. It wasn't awkward at all -- and there is nothing like old friends. I'm so very grateful for good friends. That being said, I really miss my pal who is living in China now -- I spent 4 days scrapping with her at her folks in Tracy, and when I think about it too much, I start to cry because I don't have anyone like her in my life that lives ... like... on the same continent even!
Which brings me to some thoughts -- we are all so busy -- we get to know each other because we're working on the same project, or committee, or small group -- but how often do we take the time to get to know someone over a cup of coffee, sitting for 3 hours at Starbucks (I was lucky and did that with a gal from chorus a few months ago)...?!! I know I overschedule myself because then I don' t have to spend time with myself ~ the self that is the negative inner voice constantly criticizing and tearing myself down -- by keeping things really busy I don't have time to just be. Yet I also then don't have time to just BE with my coffee, my Bible, my praise music or my friends.
And this is typical for me -- get myself involved with a zillion things and then drop most of them because I'm burned out. Scrapping and Singing -- with a side of stamping and crafting, oh, and booking another entertainer... and trying to pick up after himself (why can't his clothes be piled on the clothes hamper?!), and keep my floors reasonable, along with keeping up with a much larger house now. I need to have a conversation with himself about this -- where our responsibilities lie, but these conversations usually have to take place on weekends because we're both tired and on the grumpy side during the week... but I've been gone. Another reason to cut back a bit.
I hope I can just ride this one out (because it usually is a wave to ride... these feelings), and get back to normal busy in a couple days.
And how cool was it to pay my first car payment with my paycheck wages that were in our Credit Union account today?!! Excellently Cool!
Work was slow -- I thought I was going to start making calls today, but no -- perhaps tomorrow.
I'm playing hookey from chorus tonight -- feeling overwhelmed with all that stuff going on ~ am thinking of dropping out of the show, still working on the committees etc... - staying active as a member except for the learning of 12+ new songs before October 28th... then go back in January for contest. Still working hard on the management board and doing my thing there, but just not going to stand for 3+ hours in a small room with 70 women for 3 hours in the middle of summer in Arizona. I'm really wussing out on the heat thing. I just can't take it, and I'm getting to the point that I'm not going to force myself.
I'm getting my performing fix with my singing for the seniors and within my quartet. :-) God is so Good!!
Himself is going to give me $1,000 to pay off my credit card - which still leaves me $500 for stamps (and crafts)!!!
Teaching the craft class on Saturday was really really fun! I had 12 residents, who all gave great feedback, and I think almost all of them will return for next month's class. We did cards, I'd pre-stamped 3 flower images per attendee, gave 3 folded cards with matching envelopes and 5 background colors. We then did watercolor pencil technique, which they'd never done before, and thought that was really awesome... and in general were very enthusiastic. I met with my former boss for lunch yesterday and we discussed the future of the craft classes - one a month between now and the end of the year, singing July, August, October & December for the birthday party, and then hopefully starting with scrapbooking classes in the new year. With some more money for my own stuff, I'll be able to create some more projects for the classes, which is exciting.
Back to my CA trip: It was also so awesome seeing my friend from 2nd grade in California - her mom and her children. It wasn't awkward at all -- and there is nothing like old friends. I'm so very grateful for good friends. That being said, I really miss my pal who is living in China now -- I spent 4 days scrapping with her at her folks in Tracy, and when I think about it too much, I start to cry because I don't have anyone like her in my life that lives ... like... on the same continent even!
Which brings me to some thoughts -- we are all so busy -- we get to know each other because we're working on the same project, or committee, or small group -- but how often do we take the time to get to know someone over a cup of coffee, sitting for 3 hours at Starbucks (I was lucky and did that with a gal from chorus a few months ago)...?!! I know I overschedule myself because then I don' t have to spend time with myself ~ the self that is the negative inner voice constantly criticizing and tearing myself down -- by keeping things really busy I don't have time to just be. Yet I also then don't have time to just BE with my coffee, my Bible, my praise music or my friends.
And this is typical for me -- get myself involved with a zillion things and then drop most of them because I'm burned out. Scrapping and Singing -- with a side of stamping and crafting, oh, and booking another entertainer... and trying to pick up after himself (why can't his clothes be piled on the clothes hamper?!), and keep my floors reasonable, along with keeping up with a much larger house now. I need to have a conversation with himself about this -- where our responsibilities lie, but these conversations usually have to take place on weekends because we're both tired and on the grumpy side during the week... but I've been gone. Another reason to cut back a bit.
I hope I can just ride this one out (because it usually is a wave to ride... these feelings), and get back to normal busy in a couple days.
And how cool was it to pay my first car payment with my paycheck wages that were in our Credit Union account today?!! Excellently Cool!
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Back!!
What a week!!!
I scrapped for 38 hours Friday - Monday -- yay!! Got lots of pages done, and more stuff to do more pages! It was awesome seeing my pal who now lives in China, stay with her mom & dad (her dad washed my car, even!), and just have nothing to do but scrap.
I then went to Sacramento to see my favorite cousin (second cousin, really) -- and what a world of difference. On the way up I called one of my oldest friends (have known her since 2nd grade, Parkview Elementary when it was new, in San Jose, CA) and arranged to see her Thursday night for dinner and saw her mom (who hasn't hardly changed), her two kids, and her husband. It was a fabulous night.
Back to my cousins -- I love her so dearly, and when I was in my 20's I could handle the chaos that is her life and her house, but as I'm aging, I realize that I can't take it for as long. This will be an annual trek to California, but 3 nights is too long. My heart aches for her -- she is raising her 3 year old grandson, who has some developmental delays, but is a sweet boy. Two of her three daughters are not coping with life very well, and the one who is coping terrifically only can do so because of the boundaries she has to set with her mother.
And what a woman of faith. There is such a sweetness to her, and such love, and such generosity of spirit and of self. I want to go in and wave my magic wand and fix it all. Yet my own house isn't in order... I haven't got my own routines set yet, but I did leave her with the 15 minute magic rule! And perhaps it will help.
I taught a craft class Saturday at my former place of work, and it went really really well!! Today I've paid some bills, went and got some more storage solutions, and made a long list of things to do, some of which I've done -- some of which I dread, and some are just never ending. But life is good. Oh so good. I'm busy and I love it. God is so good. Himself still surprises me with the depth of his feelings... he doesn't give a flip about 95% of anything I say or do, so when he does I'm floored... oblivious, really.
I'm trying to avoid being the middle person between our landlady (my mother) and himself... and in trying to avoid a huge karfuffle, I hurt his feelings, and have felt crappy about it since I found out. I couldn't figure out why he was aloof and kinda rude with me earlier this morning (I was just making lunch) -- and so I harbored all sorts of dark, stormy thoughts of all the things wrong with HIM (hrumph!), and then when he told me why he was upset -- HOURS later.... so like a man (!!) I felt bad. I've apologized, but it seems there is a bit of trust gone. argh. I wish he'd told me AT THE TIME, so we could have worked it out... but no, he let it fester and is now being kinda childish altogether and refuses to have a conversation with the landlady about it. 'm frustrated so I'm not as nicey nice as I probably should be with the male bruised ego. But as I said, there is so little he cares about that I care deeply and don't know how to handle it... I want to fix it.
And I thought I want children. I've got one already.
I'm at a loss.
I scrapped for 38 hours Friday - Monday -- yay!! Got lots of pages done, and more stuff to do more pages! It was awesome seeing my pal who now lives in China, stay with her mom & dad (her dad washed my car, even!), and just have nothing to do but scrap.
I then went to Sacramento to see my favorite cousin (second cousin, really) -- and what a world of difference. On the way up I called one of my oldest friends (have known her since 2nd grade, Parkview Elementary when it was new, in San Jose, CA) and arranged to see her Thursday night for dinner and saw her mom (who hasn't hardly changed), her two kids, and her husband. It was a fabulous night.
Back to my cousins -- I love her so dearly, and when I was in my 20's I could handle the chaos that is her life and her house, but as I'm aging, I realize that I can't take it for as long. This will be an annual trek to California, but 3 nights is too long. My heart aches for her -- she is raising her 3 year old grandson, who has some developmental delays, but is a sweet boy. Two of her three daughters are not coping with life very well, and the one who is coping terrifically only can do so because of the boundaries she has to set with her mother.
And what a woman of faith. There is such a sweetness to her, and such love, and such generosity of spirit and of self. I want to go in and wave my magic wand and fix it all. Yet my own house isn't in order... I haven't got my own routines set yet, but I did leave her with the 15 minute magic rule! And perhaps it will help.
I taught a craft class Saturday at my former place of work, and it went really really well!! Today I've paid some bills, went and got some more storage solutions, and made a long list of things to do, some of which I've done -- some of which I dread, and some are just never ending. But life is good. Oh so good. I'm busy and I love it. God is so good. Himself still surprises me with the depth of his feelings... he doesn't give a flip about 95% of anything I say or do, so when he does I'm floored... oblivious, really.
I'm trying to avoid being the middle person between our landlady (my mother) and himself... and in trying to avoid a huge karfuffle, I hurt his feelings, and have felt crappy about it since I found out. I couldn't figure out why he was aloof and kinda rude with me earlier this morning (I was just making lunch) -- and so I harbored all sorts of dark, stormy thoughts of all the things wrong with HIM (hrumph!), and then when he told me why he was upset -- HOURS later.... so like a man (!!) I felt bad. I've apologized, but it seems there is a bit of trust gone. argh. I wish he'd told me AT THE TIME, so we could have worked it out... but no, he let it fester and is now being kinda childish altogether and refuses to have a conversation with the landlady about it. 'm frustrated so I'm not as nicey nice as I probably should be with the male bruised ego. But as I said, there is so little he cares about that I care deeply and don't know how to handle it... I want to fix it.
And I thought I want children. I've got one already.
I'm at a loss.
Friday, July 07, 2006
California here I come...
The job is good.
The house is awesome.
Himself is loving life (and dressing up like a Pirate to go see Pirates of the Caribbean II later today... ).
Had a busy and fun Indian Food Feast on the Sunday before the 4th of July -- during the cooking on Sunday my quartet was down and we were singing Christmas Carols... God Bless America! *hee hee*
Off to scrap with my pal --
Will get back to normal (whatever that is!) when I return.
The house is awesome.
Himself is loving life (and dressing up like a Pirate to go see Pirates of the Caribbean II later today... ).
Had a busy and fun Indian Food Feast on the Sunday before the 4th of July -- during the cooking on Sunday my quartet was down and we were singing Christmas Carols... God Bless America! *hee hee*
Off to scrap with my pal --
Will get back to normal (whatever that is!) when I return.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
