Outside my Window: Dark & Cold
I am Thinking: I've spent a few hours on thoughts of how I want to re-organize my room; now I have to work to earn the money to pay for it.
From the Kitchen: *hahahahaha* heated up mom's Lasagna (supposed to have made Elk Shepherd's Pie... looking like tomorrow instead)
I am Learning: That I'm not as great a communicator as I thought with my hubby. Better late, than never, I suppose -- and we had a good conversation today.
I am Wearing: normal clothes -- have my light vest thing on and the space heater on in my room, which makes the temp perfect for me. I am dressed to shoes, and while I didn't do hair and makeup (per Flylady), I did brush my teeth :-). Baby Steps Baby!!
I am Creating: I just created a 'room template' on Publisher, so I can draw furniture bird's eye view of how my room can be set up.
I am Going: This has the potential to be very long... I am going to put two pictures in two frames -- it will get rid of two projects that have been out and bugging me for a long long time!
I am Reading: Ransom -- a Scottish Romance Adventure.
I am Hoping: That I can stay focused on getting my Studio Office up and running, for so many things are relying on me being efficient, and flourishing as an Independent Contractor.
I am Hearing: "Fantasy" by can't remember the name of this classic rock band - it is 70's Saturday Mix on 94.9.
Around the House: a large (yet small) portion of my craft supplies are in the living room, my stamps are half-put away, mostly labeled (the big containers), and now I just need to be able to keep them somewhere as we gear toward getting my room done. More of my stuff is in Himself's Room on the guest bed. Ha. At least all of it keeps Rascal off that bed ;-)
One of my Favorite Things: Clear Kitchen Counters - Himself did dishes and put away the ones that were dry from the drying rack. I love that look :D
A Few Plans for Next Week: Getting Ind Contracting contracts finalized, so everyone agrees on how to pay me, and how this will work; doing the morning routines with Flylady; walking the dog regularly.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Outside my Window: Dark & Cold
Merry Christmas... Soon to be the beginning/end of the first decade into the 21st century. Yikes.
2010 for me has to be the year of FLYing (in FLYlady terms = Finally Loving Yourself and getting out of the CHAOS = Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome). I want to take photos of the chaos I'm (we're) living in, but of course can't find my real camera...
So, this an hour later I'm now returning to the blog -- found the camera, took some pictures, loaded them up on the pc, answered some emails, and now it is 1pm (!) One of the things I love about Flylady is the timer concept -- anything can be done for 15 minutes. Set the timer. If the job isn't done, you can still move on. I don't take advantage enough of this idea, and it isn't a habit yet...
 Set My Timer for ALL the tasks/chores I don't want to do!!
 Do the Before Bed Routine
This includes Shining the Sink every night & going to bed before midnight!!!
 Do the Morning Routine
This includes shower, dress to shoes, hair & makeup, & teeth and getting up at a regular time!!!
They say the state of your house/surroundings is the state of your mind, and as I put in an email to a friend this morning, I'm functioning but I'm certainly not flourishing. Finding the external motivation that will overcome the 3-year old inside me who constantly stamps her foot and says to me, "But you don't HAVE to! You're a GROWN UP and can do ANYTHING you WANT!" is going to be tricky.
So, this is my only resolution for this year of 2010... to get out of the CHAOS. I anticipate that it will creep into my work habits, my play habits, my exercise habits (15 minute of loving movement is part of the Flylady routine), my housework habits, my rehearsal habits, and within the discipline of routine and habits I'll find there is freedom.
I know this from doing WDW a long time ago -- a Bible Based (now cult-like) Weight Loss program... but there is truth that there is Freedom within rules. Kinda like when you wear a uniform to school, you don't have to think hard about fashion, peers fashions, what to wear and stuff... it frees you from worrying about little stuff, and sure, there will always be things to worry about, but within the routine and habit there is flexibility, yes, but there is less time wasted on the small stuff.
So, for any blog-followers... I plan to be a regular blogger again, as I want to chronicle the journey.
I've started seeing a counselor, following an upset at my work -- where I'm no longer full time employed, but am doing special projects as an independent contractor -- which is another reason I need to get out of the CHAOS, because I WANT to work for myself, but need to follow my own rules (!) The counseling will be helping in the other areas I want to have more success in -- so here's to a fresh start, another new year and... once I overcome these challenges... here's to the NEW CHALLENGES and Opportunities of Growth & Development! (*just a little sarcasm there, not a lot* LOL).
Happy New Year Everyone!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Lately even Facebook Status (statuses? statusi?) have/has been a challenge.
Things at work are pretty close to the line. Two weeks ago I wasn't sure if there was going to be full paychecks for everyone. Today's payday again and it isn't too much better. We're down 30 girls and for our budget that is disastrous. I'm now sick.... sore throat, headache etc... so I'm home, doing some work (emails and stuff), feeling guilty about not getting more done at work, but don't want to expose anyone else to this -- which seems to be going around.
Normally I don't catch things that are 'going around' -- but when I'm consumed with worry... which, I hesitate to call it worry... it is more like anger... when I'm consumed by negative emotions I know my immune system is weakened and so voila! Here's the sore throat-headache which will turn into a cold if I don't really watch it. So... I'm drinking my singer's Tea, copious amounts of water, chewing raw garlic cloves (holy cow those things are HOT! but I feel better almost immediately after the initial shock and nausea goes away ;-), taking 2,000 mg of Vitamin C every 4 to 6 hours, and the usual daily dose of echinachea, multi-vitamin and general pain reliever.
As someone who essentially lives life by emotions, when my feelings are 'off' everything else goes to garbage. I am so unmotivated in most other areas of my life when one section of my life is affected... which leads to MORE un (dis?)-motivation... because for me, the lack of doing anything only feeds the feelings of 'why bother.' That downward spiral again :-(
Hence my constant quest for self-discipline, self-control, whatever you want to call it. To just "put on my big girl pants and do it" makes me smile and often will get me over one thing at time... though it is a one-minute-at-a-time constant struggle for me... with food, with thoughts, with attitude... with doing things whether I "feel like it or not!" Work is completely overwhelming because when I'm in this mode I have a hard time concentrating or focusing (which is difficult enough without the emotional distractions....) on any one task, and soooo many things fall through the cracks.
On top of that we are all tired and worn out and overworked and underpaid. We all are feeling discouraged in one way or another.
I have the opportunity to go elsewhere and work... it isn't official, and there are a lot of things pending on what it might ultimately be; and it would mean going back to work for someone that I've worked for in the past and left because of the management style of this person. There were other reasons I left as well, but added altogether the reason I left was mostly my lack of coping skills with the management style and my lack of belief in myself and my talents and skills.
I also have the scrapbooking that I could do to earn extra money -- but the time between work and singing leaves me little time for that -- if I know my job pay is going to be less, I've offered to go part time and then I can supplement my income in the other ways.
I start reading personal fulfillment blogs, and personal enrichment articles, and things about minimizing and downsizing and being frugal and think, "yeah! if only I could clean my desk I'd feel better about it all and get things done." And while yes, there is some truth to that... that is too simple a solution (or at least, so it seems).
Dreamin' The Life is one blog that looks good...
Life Excursion has some well written and simple ideas...
Leo's Minimilist blog is always awesome... mnmlst.com
and his is where I usually go to start.
I envy those people who are born this way... sure I love clean counters and surfaces... clear of clutter, junk and stuff -- but the 'do it now' principle somehow always gets lost and before I know it, weeks have gone by and all surfaces are full, as well as the other places that seem to collect stuff.
I complain that I don't have enough room, which is why I go back to the minimalist ideal... if I have less stuff I'll not have the problem of not enough room.
But my passions - music, creative pursuits and sharing them, and learning... all these things require things in order to do them.
Now I'm just babbling...
oh yeah... and I'm supposed to be doing Weight Watchers online... this isn't working for me the 2nd time... I really do know better.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
This weekend is Quartet Retreat... haven't even unloaded the van from the CA trip yet... leaving tonight or tomorrow, haven't decided yet. Not sure where my phone is... which could be a problem.
Chorus is fun.
Hubby's doing great... heading home for 3 weeks... hoping he'll be shipping the rest of our (MY) stuff home.
Going to be doing some more craft classes... like I have time... but cutting out tv will allow me to do more crafting... and more money!
Also will be doing more scrapbooking... invested in a Cricut after coming back from CA, where I dropped off 54 pages (which I scrapped the week before... how much more I could make if I'd not procrastinate!).
Work is busy... scary times for non-profits who are extracurricular activities that aren't sports.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Just got back from a 5 day road trip to Nevada with mom for a relative's high school graduation. It was blissfully COLD!! Quite unusual, really for the weather to be that cold in June -- it rained and snowed in the mountains, and on Friday the high was 62. I was in weather heaven!
I love that area of the country... small town-ish but near cosmopolitan areas... my favorite combo.
Mom & I listened to the "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey on the audio book that I downloaded on itunes... Good Stuff.
I read "The Shack" by Wm Young. Highly recommend it.
Don't live in Expectation. Live in Relationship... and love naturally puts someone else's needs above your own. Deep stuff. Interesting ideas... I read it with my filter on and it has some interesting things to think about regarding God, Jesus & the Holy Spirit... and how it happens that these terrible, awful, hideous things happen in this world.
Found an awesome used Craft Book for $20 --- one of the "different bits arrive every month" kinds of things in a huge binder... Senior Craft Class Fodder for a long time to come
Ate Basque Food Family style... Yum!! Saw relatives I've not seen in ages... also very fun!!
This is cousin Pat, me and "Big Neil" -- who, the last time I saw him he was probably a sophomore in high school... yikes!
Work in May was pretty insane... the girls had 3 concerts over two consecutive weekends, then there were Outside Auditions, Move-Up Auditions & Getting Ready to depart for Carnegie Hall, which is the tour they're on right now. I kinda kept up, but we've also been recruiting new Board of Director members like crazy, and we now have 14 board members (from the 8 that were there when I started in April of 2007...!), and lots of new stuff happening.
I'm excited that I've been asked if I would like to be a section leader in my chorus, which is something I've been wanting to do since joining the chorus (back in the early 90's!)... and my quartet is going really well, too!
The craft class has also been going well... and to pick up some extra money I'm going to start singing for the seniors again ~ maybe every other month or so. "Gazelle Intensity" is how Dave Ramsey describes doing things to get the emergency fund up to what it needs to be as fast as possible, then keeping up that intense pace to find extra ways to make money to pay off bills and get debt free asap. I'm not quite ready to sell stuff -- but taking on some money-making-musical endeavors sounds like a good plan!
The economy scares me... but I have to just keep reminding myself that I'm not in control, and I trust the one who is. I'm thankful, oh so thankful, that I have a job, and that we did have 13 new girls join at auditions in May... I think being in a smaller organization is a good place to be right now.
We finally got the too-big-table out of the dining area and now have the treadmill set up... not much more time for excuses! I'm going to quit the gym membership (the extra $31 a month doesn't need to be spent), and follow the example of one of the moms at work... she's lost about 40 lbs in the last 3 to 4 months by just coming in the door and getting on the treadmill for 45 minutes. She's not passing Go and she's not collecting $200!! That and lots of raw food (salads), makes a difference.
I have a relative who has asked to be taken off the ventilator... please send some good thoughts and prayers for his family... it is just really really sad. I don't know if I'll be able to go on another road trip so quickly... :-(
Monday, May 04, 2009
* * * * * *
In the sad/crappy news category is that someone I know has been a victim of domestic violence. She's okay, she has a support network (nowhere near here, which is good and bad), and how helpless do I feel. I've no experience at all with this (which I consider a blessing), but wish I could offer more help. I don't know if she knows yet what she's going to do.
I found out that if the police can't tell at the scene who is at fault in a domestic violence situation, both parties are taken to jail. So, she got beat up, *and* she gets to spend the night in jail.
* * * * * * *
Work is crazy and will be crazy until like, June 1st.
* * * * * * *
Got back from Pasadena ~ Sweet Adelines Region 21 Contest where my chorus hosted the other competing choruses & quartets. It was an amazing weekend. I spent the weekend at my brother's house, and got to hang out with a gal from the chorus 'cuz we drove together; which was also tres fun.
* * * * * * *
Planning a trip to N. California next... if I can get the 100+ pages of scrapping done.
Himself has painted the gargantuan shed (aka the man-cave) a very bright yellow. It's a bit "girly" - so we'll be changing that for a more sagey green color.
* * * * * * *
Life is good. I try very hard to remember that I'm not in control, and it helps.
Monday, April 13, 2009
The real reason I started the cleanse-craze is because I wanted to find the pictures of my high school production of "Oklahoma!" to post on Facebook (!) Whatever works, man. *wry smile!*
After this post I'll be finishing up some of the putting away in here... there's still some empty spaces that aren't filled with stuff ;-)
Saturday night my pal said, "let's color eggs" -- so I went over and we had yummy teryaki meatballs, veggies, m & m's - roasted peeps over the grill (can we say 'sick and wrong and VERY YUMMY'?!?!?), and were quite creative in our egg-art efforts. Oh yeah... and cake balls. Wow. Easy. Yummy. Gotta make me some.
Bake a Cake, crumble when warm. Mix in can of frosting with cake crumbles. Form into 2-inch balls. Freeze. Melt chocolate chips in microwave, use a little shortening to smooth out if you want. Dip frozen cake balls in melted chocolate. Place on wax paper and freeze again. Perfect size for sweet cravings without having the whole cake (and eating it too....!) She had done a pineapple/coconut cake with I forgot the frosting flavor... but really, any flavor would be soooo good!!
Since I can't get the photos off my camera at home, will have to wait to go to work and put them on my thumb drive and ...well, you know the drill.
Sunday I was supposed to go to church but didnt' make it. Not sure what is up exactly... still praying, still writing in my journal... still singing...
Instead, himself and I cleaned and tidied... which hasn't been done in a Very. Very. Very. Very.
Longggggggg time. Seriously. I've swept up the tufts of dog hair every couple weeks (yes, weeks), and that is about it. Yesterday we vacuumed -- moved the couches so we could sit on the opposite cushions and wear them down equally... so vacummed the entire living room floor... he hooked up the new surround sound system (the old went died) while the furniture was moved. We moved some furniture around to better house the technology/television stuff, I dusted a bit -- still some dusting to finish but it is so much better...
I did quite a few loads of laundry, and FOLDED it and AND put it AWAY. *yay me!!*
I changed the sheets on the bed and took off the electric mattress cover in preparation for warmer weather... though I have to say I had it on the night before... we've had some awesomely beautiful spring weather -- COOL. Breezy (o.k., winds up to 45 mph) and warmish days (low 80s) with nights down quite cool -- it rained pretty much all day on Saturday, and was cold (for April in Tucson)!! I'm lovin' it!!
I vacuumed our room, dusted, and did himself's laundry too... himself hooked up the former DVD player that was with the dead surround sound sytem to the tv in the bedroom and while we rarely watch anything in there, now we are DVD-capable, which is cool.
Tonight is "Friends & Family" night for chorus - we'll be doing our package for the contest weekend in a couple weeks in Pasadena... so full costume & makeup -- which is one of the reasons I had to get the clothing issue sorted and put in my closet in the craft room.
Last weekend was quartet weekend and the barbershop arranging day, which went really well, I thought!! It was fun, and as usual, I get inspired when I go.
Quartet was weird -- the other gals had just had a big performance two nights before, and were brain dead and vocally tired -- they'd driven down here, so they were done before we even started... and I was all weird too. We did some good ground-laying work on a song, and did some detail work on another -- but we did a lot of talking too, which is a good thing too.
This upcoming weekend is craft class (another motivation for organizing the craft room), and quartet again on Sunday up in Phoenix area.
So... since I've been kinda going non-stop until the weekend, maybe my 4 readers will forgive me. Or look on FB, where I'm still spending way too much time!!! Still love reading blogs, too, though!!!
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Have been spending far too much time on Facebook!
My new quartet is fab.
Himself is doing well... need to post pictures of his Man-Cave (aka HUGE shed)
Rascal is rascally.
Being back at chorus is great.
The weather cooled down the second half of March and it has been beautiful.
I walked 10 minutes yesterday.
My knee is still bothering me.
Our portable DVD is broken.
My house is a MESS!!
I finished re-reading the Mitford Series *so good*
My calendar is still saying February... perhaps that is why I lost a whole month, ya think?
We made Flower Pens last month in craft class.
This month we'll be making paper flower bouquets -- need to get busy experimenting exactly how that will work.
My dad had hip surgery... a little worrisome but he's doing very well.
My sister is going through a divorce -- we're all agreed it is the best thing, but the soon-to-be ex is being a real knob (that is Britspeak... look it up ;-)
Well... really, that's about all I can think of right now. How's that for random??
Monday, February 23, 2009
Quartet is going well.
Himself is doing well.
My job is still a lot of work (for which I'm thankful...)
Passed my chorus audition last week, so now I've got to start paying money.
It is exciting as we're going to Nashville for the Sweet Adelines International Contest in October... and I know that most of the fun is in the journey ~
but it is the journey that matters in the end."
I spent a lot of yesterday looking up vocal education stuff to work on with quartet.
I now need to do some actual singing...
Going to attend an arranging workshop on April 4th, here in town -- and there are a number of chorus members who want to come and learn more about arranging and barbershop chords etc... so time to brush up on my theory!
I can hardly move in my craft studio/office -- so need to clear some surfaces!
Today I cleared off most of the kitchen table.
I'm not Catholic, and don't know anything about Lent except you give something up. Usually until Easter, but I'm hoping my list will continue for a lot longer than that.
I'm giving up: Fast Food Drive Thrus... this has become a wallet-reducing habit. If I need to eat fast food (cuz face it, sometimes it happens), I have to GO INSIDE.
I'm giving up: TV Reruns... I can't tell you how long I've sat in front of the boob tube watching stuff I've seen before (or worse, shows I can't stand). No More. I've also written a list of the 7 shows (7 hours a week) of tv watching that I'm allowing myself. This is one of the reasons I end up staying up so late (even having fallen asleep in front of the tv, I still sit there instead of going to bed!!)
I'm giving up: Eating in front of the telly. (which is why I cleared off much of the kitchen table.) Usually after the meal I just sit there for another couple of hours, rather than getting up and cleaning up and going and doing something more productive. Getting up from the table is different that getting up from my reclining couch! Easier.
did I mention we turned on the cooler today?!!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
At the intersection where the incident occurred, his daughters put together what is known as a 'ghost bike' -- a bicycle painted white, to signify that a cyclist had been killed at that place. There are a number of them all over town, but only because of his death did I know anything about them.
She and I went and got flowers to place on the bike.
We went to lunch and talked about how each of us got engaged... and how long they had dated, and I learned things that I'd never known about both of them.
We went to her house and had delicious blueberry coffeecake, with copious amounts of tea... then we made some papermolds (a cool craft thing), we napped a little, then after we came home we basically napped some more while trying to avoid being licked up the nose by a cutie chihuahua named Penny.
I was glad I was able to be around. This day that is traditionally a day full of red hearts and pink flowers, chocolate and mylar heart balloons... a day that we're supposed to celebrate the love we have for each other -- I think we did that. And we remembered Chuck and their life together, and I think it was exactly what it was supposed to be.
Himself got a beard trimmer for his birthday (yes, he's a valentine baby), and a bag of pistachio nuts for Valentines Day. I got to eat some chocolate hob-nobs (yum!).
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Watched some of the Third Mummy. ho hum. slept through a lot of it. And I even really like the main guy whose name escapes me right now.
I've been on Facebook. Hello, my name is Carrie and I'm a Facebook Addict. I even got my dad on there. (Hi Dad)
I keep meaning to post pictures... himself has been very very busy building a huge shed in the back yard -- it is 3/4 the way done -- most of the walls, the floor and a temporary roof, along with a door and a ramp are complete. Even some painting has been done.
Work has been busy -- chorus had retreat last weekend and 8 hours singing on saturday (which followed 3 hours the friday night before), followed by some light drinking and merriment at a piano bar... and I even made it to church on Sunday!! It was a great weekend but I'm spent.
And it is now late and I have a long week before I get to go scrapping in Bisbee for two nights and a couple days... very excited about that!!!
I haven't forgotten about my 4 readers... 3 of whom have caved and joined FB... I'm tellin' ya -- I've found people I love whom I lost track of and it is so cool to see pictures of them and their families!!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
You are a Doris -- "I must help others."
Dorises are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.
How to Get Along with Me
- * Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
- * Share fun times with me.
- * Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
- * Let me know that I am important and special to you.
- * Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.
- * Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
- * Reassure me often that you love me.
- * Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.
- * being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
- * knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
- * being generous, caring, and warm
- * being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
- * being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor
- * not being able to say no
- * having low self-esteem
- * feeling drained from overdoing for others
- * not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
- * criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
- * being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
- * working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings
- * are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
- * try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
- * are outwardly compliant
- * are popular or try to be popular with other children
- * act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
- * are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Dorises), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Dorises)
- * are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
- * are often playful with their children
- * wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
- * can become fiercely protective
Thanks A @ Happy Hour!
Friday, January 02, 2009
Had a really good conversation with my dad last night, which was something I needed. I read about people who are screwed up because their fathers are emotionally distant... my dad and I are so intune with each other it is kinda spooky ~ and he definitely is the polar opposite of emotionally distant! So ~ Love You Dad... oh so much :D.
Today I loaded up a bunch of photos onto facebook... for my two expat buddies (you know who you are) ... well, I just encourage you again -- in the light of the new year... to seriously consider being on FB. It is faster than blogging, easier... and in real time -- you can have the page up while doing other things... go away then come back and read your friend's updates and it is cool. Of course, it is a time vortex, which will suck away your time... but time-schwime, right?
I've updated my barbershop music database (yes, as exciting as it sounds *Yawn!*), and my barbershop audio database... our quartet gathering this weekend will be a music choosing and image discussion meeting, with maybe a little singing thrown in for good measure.
I have the craft class tomorrow and haven't done one. single. thing. And I'm here, bloggin like I have time (!!) It's gonna be a long night...
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Not an auspicious way to bring in the new year.
For tomorrow I got "Mamma Mia" and "88 Minutes" with Al Pacino... and by accident got one himself has already seen.
We had an outside fire, I did a really tasty cheese fondue with salami, bread, and since I'm trying to cut back on my wheat intake I tried lightly salted rice cakes & sour cream and onion mini rice cakes, which were pretty darn good! I made a couple of Shandy's for us (yum), and at midnight we had Bailey's over ice (mine with some half-n-half in it...mmmmmmm).
I'm still up, and have lots on my mind -- some good, some not so good. Say some prayers, send some good vibes :D
Happy 2009 to us all, and may the future be full of hope, blessings, confidence, honor, integrity, humor & harmony!!