Tuesday, November 28, 2006

hrmph

I'm feeling so frustrated and grumpy... all completely unjustified... it must be hormonal. hrmph.

Everyone else is to blame for my grumpiness... [sarcasm] - though that is actually how I feel, my brain knows that is incorrect.

I've tried praying this attitude crap away -- I've tried deep breathing -- I might have to resort to exercise!

I hope I'll feel better tomorrow.

And we just got back from a terrific weekend at the Grand Canyon!!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Pictures as promised

Brother & new sister in law


Tacky Tartan & Overpriced Meat Pies, "Aye Right, Ah'm not pie'n fur that!"



5 Things

I'm grateful for:

My health. I can't say this enough.

My husband. He's my 'number one' - I ask for things and he makes it so... I'm so spoiled!

My computer. Sounds shallow.. maybe it is - but it helps keep me in touch with so many people I wouldn't otherwise hear from. Not to mention Spider Solitaire.

My Mom. Home is where your mom is.

Tucson. This time of year is just incredible. I'll re-read this next summer when I'm moaning and groaning about how hot it is!

Have a meaningful Thanksgiving - one that helps you remember all the things for which thanks should be given.

Friday, November 17, 2006

More Fluff

My traitor friend (now on myspace) Ronda (love ya girlie) had this on her blog, and talked about how doing these things helps her really discover who she is, and not who she is because of other people's expectations/ambitions for her... and since I recently discovered the same thing - I thought I would play.

In my recent self-discovery, the realization that I don't want to be a Queen of Harmony surprised me. I think I said I wanted it because I'm capable of it, I should want it, and the journey would be good for me. But I don't care about it. I'm so much happier in everything without that huge expectation hanging in the air above me like a big dark rain cloud ready to burst. Hard to explain - but I've done things all my life because someone suggested I should - I'd be great at this, that or I should study this because I'm talented blah blah blah... and since I didn't really have any goals or knowledge about myself, I'd do it. I don't/didn't want to miss out on anything that might be "it" - ya know? Since I let this go, I just feel so incredibly free!!!!


1. How tall are you barefoot? 5'7

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No.

3. Do you own a gun? No.

4. Who's your best friend? I don't really have one best... i have many excellent life-long forever friends... friends I don't talk to or see even every week, but know if I called they'd be there for me... and me for them... Jennifer, Carol, Rosalie, Marie, Wendy, Dan... Marianne, Catherine, Elizabeth, Joan...

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"? no - nervous isn't the word... a little anxious mebbe...

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I try not to

7. What's your favorite Christmas song? Mary Did You Know?; Baby, (What You Goin' To Be?); The 12 Days After Christmas, Greensleeves... there are more, but I need to start listening to Christmas music!

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Coffee, OJ, water

9. Can you do push ups? A push up. Maybe two. working on it.

10. Is your bathroom clean? My toilet is clean, it is reasonable...

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? I don't like the expensive, sentimental stuff because I'm so rough on it - it makes me nervous. I adore my wedding ring - my nana's diamond & my aunt's pearl, designed and given to me by my aunt Carolyn ~ but I only wear it a few times a year - I wore it in Scotland right after we were married and the diamond fell out and that was it - no more wearing it everyday (we found the diamond, btw). The things I wear just about every day - my plain wedding band and my silver hoop earrings... they're qualified the most as favorites, I guess.

12. Do you like painkillers? When I'm in pain, yes.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? My teasing laughter. (i guess?)

14. Do you own a knife? Just kitchen ones

15. Do you have A.D.D.? No.

16. Middle Name? Diane

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. wasting time (need to be stamping)
2. wish I blogged more often
3. I'm addicted to exercise!!! (walked 2.32 miles today with T)

18. Name the last 3 things you have bought:
1. paper crimper
2. 2/$1 votive candle holders (saw a cool stamped paper idea)
3. Stamp cleaner (Michael's purchases... can you tell?)

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
1. Water
2. coffee
3. Tea - various

20. What time did you wake up today? 8:39am

21. Pets? not currently, but we're planning to adopt a humane society dog after t-day.

22. Current worry? Relying on myself as my income -- singing... having a coughing fit Sunday morning before the performance brought home how careful I need to be, how dependent on good health, car running well, good preparation -- all these things go into making money.

23. Current hate? Trying not to hate anything. Change this to pet peeve and well.... poor grammar.

24. Favorite place to be? on a porch swing, with a breeze, some fru-fru cold drink in my hand (sweet), green trees, cool sunny day, watching the world go by.

25. Least favorite place to be? doctor, dentist, getting blood taken... blech.

26. Where would you like to go? Australia

27. Do you own slippers? Yes, 2 pairs

28. What shirt are you wearing? Red v-neck t-shirt that is probably one of the oldest pieces of clothing I can still wear. Have had it before moving to Scotland - now a workout/cleaning shirt that is okay to wear in public.

29. Do you burn or tan? both

30. Favorite color(s)? Yellow, Purple, Pink

31. Would you be a pirate? No.

32. Do you journal, or make lists of things you need to do? I have journalled -- I should do more of it, it helps get stuff out in a healthy way... and yes, I make lists of things I need to do -- in a journal book :-)


33. What songs do you sing in the shower? How Great Thou Art is a favorite, Thank You Lord is another good shower song. Where Are The Simple Joys Of Maidenhood is another great shower song ;-)

34. What did you fear was going to get you when you were younger? The devil.

35. What's in your pockets right now? no pockets right now.

36. Last thing that made you laugh? V. Talking to her on Skype in Shanghai -- we could hardly talk we were laughing so hard... miss her!

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child? huh?

38. Worst injury you've ever had? tearing ligaments in both legs when I fell down the stairs in Scotland.

39. Music, TV, Books or Movies? I'm putting them in order: Music, Books, Movies, TV -- because hello -- life without music or books? no way.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? Two that are plugged in - one that is unused, one projector thing that isn't really a tv, but could be if himself made it so, I think.

41. Who is your loudest friend? probably Ann :-)

42. Who is your most silent friend? T.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I hope not.

44. Do you wish on shooting stars? yes - but I call it a prayer.

45. What is your favorite book? The Stand

46. What is your favorite candy? See's. Chocolate w/ caramel. M&M's, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Butterfingers

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? So This Is Love, When You Wish Upon A Star, A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes; I Will Be There; When I Fall In Love, Love Changes Everything... yep, it was like a musical event :-)

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? was just starting to think about this the other day -- Sing And Be Happy, definitely will be up there -- I picked up a 'estate planning' type of thing from where I work, and think it is a good idea to start making some grown up decisions...

49. What were you doing at 12 am midnight last night? Reading Blogs

50. What was the First thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Gotta pee... coffee... do I have time to check my email?

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

whine & fluff

whine.... *why* do we have to do google accounts... *whine whine whine* I don't wannnaaaaa!!! I want something to stay the same for like, I don't know - more than a couple years.... (not really... just not wanting to re-sign up for something else I won't remember. Good Grief!)

k. Now that's off my chest.

Hey - I stayed at my exact weight last week. himself was down 1/2 a lb. All things considered I was pleased. So far this week I've gained 11 'movement' points -- which I needed! I performed on Sunday - which was a performance from which I learned... 3 times singing something in front of my computer does NOT a rehearsal make *inward groan* -- but hey -- it is good to learn something new everytime, right? [sarcasm, in case you missed it].

I walked with my pal T on Monday morning - that was fun - then Curves yesterday and today -- yay me!! I'm trying to 'trick' myself into believing that "I'm addicted to exercise" -- uh-huh... rather than the 'old me' - hating it, being bored etc... and we all know that 90% of any battle we have is in the mind. Sometimes it takes me awhile to realize that I can apply these principles to my *entire* life, not just one particular goal or objective I have.

We played pool Saturday night -- 3 couples and we all pretty much sucked. Some of us pocketed 2 balls (me), some of us more than that (everyone but T), but it was much fun. Himself cracked everyone up with his wit, humor, and trying to teach me how to hold the cue stick (is that even the right word for it?) We played snooker, then 8 ball. Good times.

I'm feeling good. Having less to be responsible for and "do" is so very freeing.

Here's a fun place to test your musical aptitude... I scored 75%, and was pleased with that - I'd probably do better if I took it again, I wouldn't be distracted by how >weird< the sounds are.

Copied this from Yerdoingitwrong's blog - I stop by occasionally to see what she's up to and haven't done a Meme, so here goes...

1. Explain what ended your last relationship.

I don't even remember the last relationship... it must've been P., who I dated *briefly* (can't stress how briefly enough)... he was, in just plain terms, a dork. Not a cute geek (I married one of those ;-), but a stingy, well-meaning, sex-starved, way-too-much-information-for-a-first-date dork. Bless his heart. He had a rough life, and I admire his stubborn bull-headedness. It ended because I was embarrassed to be seen with him. (and I'm embarrassed to admit that)

2. When was the last time you shaved?

Today. Miracle. When I first saw/read this meme that answer would have been very different.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.?

trying to figure out my invoices for performing and independent contracting work. I'm at a loss about whether or not I was paid for 3 gigs... my own fault. So now you know why I'm getting organized.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago?

Reading This blog.

5. Are you any good at math?

Not really -- but I think I had stinky teachers for the first half, then bad attitude for the second half. One or two cute tutors might've helped...

6. Your prom night?

I went my senior year with T - very very very good looking guy, a great friend, who I tried really hard to be attracted to, but nope - never happened. We're still friends, though!

7. Do you have any famous ancestors?

My great aunt did our family tree back to Alexander the Great...

8. Have you had to take a loan out for school?

oh. Yes.

9. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace profile?

I don't understand myspace stuff either. but I have a place on myspace.... one day I will spend some time like my pal Ronda, who ditched her blogger blog and went all myspace... traitor. I have to say, all the cute stuff really irritates me. I like that you can play music etc.. on it, though.

10. Last thing received in the mail?

I think there's a Michael's coupon in the ad/junk mail today. Real mail? Yikes. don't remember.

11. How many different beverages have you had today?

Coffee w/ vanilla soy milk & sugar (at home), coffee w/ the same at work, water, water, water... maybe will have a chocolate soy milk when I'm done...

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines?

Yes!!

13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to?

Um... my first cool concert was Journey. But I went to Neil Diamond, and a free IBM thing with Louise Mandrell.

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach?

sometimes.

15. What's the most painful dental procedure you've had?

braces tightened. I had a root canal in Scotland, but was surprised at how un-painful it was.

16. What is out your back door?

we have 3 sets of french doors all leading to the back yard. One door has the spa :-D. One door has a brick path that leads to the spa :-D; and the other to the side patio which will soon become our 'arizona room' aka where himself can sit and smoke, screened in alternate living space.

17. Any plans for Friday night?

Dedicated watch British telly night.

18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair?

neutral opinion, don't care - I'm at the ocean :D

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns?

No, but that would be a good gift for me :-)

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium?

Yes - twice, I think!

21. Do you re-use towels after you shower?

Yes.

22. Some things you are excited about?

Going to a crop - Thanksgiving/Birthday - going to the Grand Canyon via steam train ride that starts at Williams... should be fun. Christmas is coming - singing Christmas carols. Getting a dog after Thanksgiving *yay!*, exercising (see... it is working....!), getting my business off the ground.

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELL-O?

Berry... any kind but the weird blue thing. Not as fond of cherry flavor, but all the other berries.

24. Describe your key chain(s)?

I have 2 - one for house, one for car - the house key chain has a wooden carved thistle, and a plastic one that says, "You can take the girl out of Scotland, but you can't take Scotland out of the girl" given to me by my best Scottish Friend, W. Both key chains are on those rubbery wear-around-your-wrist-like-a-bracelet things, purple.

25. Where do you keep your change?

In my wallet, in a couple of colored bottles near the front door, and in my jewelry box (the states quarters)

26. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people?

Sunday.

27. What kind of winter coat do you own?

A red goose-down fluffy thing -- looks like a quilt, but fluffier. I'm sure it has a real name, but don't ask me.

28. What was the weather like on your graduation day?

Sunny. Malibu was gorgeous - it was windy, but you could see all the way to Rancho PV and even see Catalina out in the ocean... perfect day.

29. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed?

Open - we need the circulation! If it were up to himself, it would be closed... those Brits without central air or heating!! ;-)

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Other Blogs

I came into my room to "work" at 7:30 pm - it is now 9:21 pm and I've not done a single note. I need to input what I'm going to be singing on Sunday -- and type out lyric sheets for the sing along... and I got to looking for sources to find lamb/mutton - recipes for traditional scottish and indian food for B's Christmas... and then reading blogs.

I get inspired to write in mine when I read others, but I never fully realize what I want to say - how much sense does this make?

And I signed up for myspace and holy moly that is just too complicated for me right now... learning something new with all the other stuff I'm supposed to be doing -- just ugh.

We're dog sitting and I need to take them out for the evening walk - and then go to bed so I can get up at 6:30 am and take them for the morning walk & poop - and maybe tomorrow morning I'll get some music work done. Because I want to play on Friday -- go to a crop.

Mom told me she and L are probably going to Colorado for Christmas this year... she's up in arms because she said "Christmas is about kids" -- well... he has a daughter and son in law *with grandkids!!* in Colorado -- so it IS about the kids... and I told her she was mean mean saying that "it just won't be Christmas" in front of him!! I said why don't you plan on coming here for New Year's then for a few days, we're planning to have a real guest room by then.

But I'm actually excited to have Christmas here - in the house... in himself's and mine own tradition! It is motivating me to clean a little more each day -- don't worry, I'm not over extending myself by any means ;-) -- but I set up a plan to get the craft room moved and the guest room created... and where are we going to put the tree...and I've put in a request for mini Mince Pies from Tesco from my pal in Scotland *fingers crossed* and it is just kinda fun to think about. OOhhhhh... maybe she can send over himself's favorite alcoholic beverage - Advocaat -- a couple of bottles of that would make his Christmas!!

We went to the Celtic Festival this past Saturday - good grief, sweating something awful - it was flippin' 80 degrees! Hot and Sunny... I mean, [warning: sarcasm] it was so much like Scotland! -- NOT --. But we found some tacky tartan, yet well made Rugby balls to send to himself's friend in Scotland... and once we send it, himself says he'll never be able to go home again -- ha ha!! I had 4 Tunnocks Tea Cakes (a British store in Scottsdale carries them... good to know), and himself had Irn Bru... and we watched a dog herd sheep, and we saw the highland competition where the guys balance then throw the big telephone pole looking things... don't have a clue what that is called. Himself absolutely refused to pay $7.00 for a Scotch Pie... hmmm... maybe next year ;-). Will get my pictures uploaded eventually.

Well,not exactly all I wanted to say - but God is a good God ~ and we are so very blessed!!

Friday, November 03, 2006

A Crown in Heaven

I went to church last Sunday - and hymn 701 had a line about singing and having a crown in heaven *gets up and gets hymnal*...

My Jesus, I Love Thee

3rd verse:
"In mansions of glory and endless delight,
I'll ever adore Thee in heaven so bright;
I'll sing with the glittering crown on my brow:
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now."

A defining moment for me. You see, when you win the international quartet contest in Sweet Adelines, you become known as a 'Queen of Harmony' (actually that term really started in Harmony Inc., but liked it enough to use it too ;-), and yes, the winners all get crowned. When I sang this song this past Sunday, I felt a confirmed road sign on the path God wants me to take was ablaze with lights and affirmation. That light bulb 'a-ha!' moment, "I'm going to have a crown in heaven, where I'll get to sing in perfect, ringing harmony. All the time. And eat cheesecake and not worry that it will put ickies on my vocal folds. *yay!!!*"

This only child who made up stories and played alone a lot was (is still, some would say...) a dress-up queen was always a princess, a fairy princess, Cinderella... you get the picture -- so how cool that I could have an "adult" desire to become a "Queen" and get a real life tiara -- and if you know Mary Englebreit's artwork and her "It's Good To Be Queen" and "Queen of Everything" pieces, well, I liked those before I even knew about Sweet Adelines and Queens of Harmony. And wear the crown. And be part of an elite group of women.

I gave up this goal. It has been a rough month, this re-evaluating my 'objectives' and seeing if the goals I thought I wanted lined up with my values and how I see my life. What it takes to be a SAI Queen isn't what I want.

I feel sad. I feel relieved, all of a sudden I've taken HEAPS of pressure of myself. I have the pipes - I know music is a gift and a passion that God has given me, but I believe He is presenting me with His path of singing for the seniors, sans any crowns, because my heart is so touched, and so raw and so loving of this population. I know I can use my gift to encourage and bring a smile to someone's face.

The difference in how I feel after a performance for the residents at Fellowship Square, and how I feel after a performance with my quartet -- well, there is no comparison. Don't get me wrong. I am not giving up a cappella music, or barbershop! I get a fix singing with these women. But my focus has changed, and I'm glad.

It is right.

I don't know if I've accurately conveyed how I'm feeling - it is midnight, and I have a busy & fun day tomorrow -- but somehow I needed to get this out.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

The Show was awesome!

The weekend was a bust -- but the feedback has been terrific!

Started weight watchers with himself - he's doing Core plan, I'm doing flex points - tomorrow we'll go to our second meeting.

Lots going on and its all swirling in my head -- can't seem to focus on just getting one thing done.

Himself bought me a way cool old-fashioned microphone for my birthday... I would have been surprised if the box it was delivered in hadn't had "microphone" printed on the outside... ah well... it is a retro 40's style... like on my business card.

Singing for the Fellowship Square Veteran's Party on the 12th of November -- just have to pick up the phone to sing for two more venues... and even figured out how to fade out two songs I've already recorded for a demo CD. My excuses are running thin. :-)

24 more shopping days until my birthday. It will be the 18th anniversary of my 21st birthday. I will be down 100 lbs by my next birthday, Lord Willing.

My sister's b/day and my excellent pal in Scots Land will be turning their respective ages this Friday. And nope, no card for either of them in the post. Maybe a phone call...

I'm taking a break from Sweet Adelines - my quartet is taking a big huge break because the bass's mom has cancer - she's with her mom, and I'm focusing on getting physically and financially fit -- can we say God's Timing?!

Himself and I ditched Halloweener's... went and saw "Invicible" about Vincent Papale, football player in the 70's with the Philadelphia Eagles -- really really good, clean, inspiring movie. One of those that makes you all warm inside.

We also watched "Fun with Dick and Jane" remake this weekend, nothing like the original with George Seagal & Jane Fonda - but despite himself, I think Jim Carrey is talented, and I like Tea Leoni. We also saw "Zatharca" or was it "Zarcatha" -- similar to Jumanji, only with outerspace instead of jungle dangers... no big names, cute film... Yeah, I'm likin' the movie projector thing more and more. Oh, and I saw "The Break Up" Monday night, working the Monday Night Movie at Fellowship... Himself has signed us up for Blockbuster thingey that is like Netflix -- so I logged on and put in some of my requests -- so that will be fun.

Well... better get to the sing a long word sheets...