...and one more thing

I love my new quartet.

Last Friday night and Saturday we hung out a lot because the chorus was doing Mother's Day Singing Telegrams. We did our early Friday evening gig - then we're all dressed up with no one to sing for, so we thought maybe we could go to dinner, get a discount and promote the chorus fundraiser by singing for a few dinner guests. Well, the manager only charged for drinks! We sang for two tables, and one of the mom's was so appreciative -- it was super cool.

The Tenor and the Bass of this quartet are natural sales people, and excel at selling themselves. I can sell others, but suck at selling myself, so as we get better and more experienced singing together, with these two as our marketing masters, I have no doubt that we'll be able to make this quartet pay for itself, which fits my budget so very well!!!!!

On Saturday morning we had two gigs to sing with another quartet, so we did that -- then went to breakfast at a place where the Bass and her husband regularly go, sang twice and again got free meals. Walking out to the car I said with much gusto "I LOVE this quartet!!!"

We also spent a lot of time talking about and probably solving the problems of (I'll say) the world... and I'm convinced if the Tenor & Bass got themselves in positions of authority, (I'll say) the world would be a very different place. We laugh hysterically together -- are so creative it hurts sometimes!

*Whew!*

Tucson Girls Chorus Auditions for May are over! Until August :-)

Wow! I basically feel like I've been in deadline crush mode since (well, really since I started...) two weeks after I started. The red tape in order to pass out Audition Flyers to schools (rolling of the eyes) -- fax the flyer w/ a form - the flyer has to have a disclaimer from most districts - fax it back approved. Districts have ways in which they want to received the flyers -- bundles of 20, for example. Tucson's largest school district is TUSD and they have over 8,000 elementary children -- I forget how many middle school... And we had 3 other districts besides that. And only 3 other districts because I knew time was an issue, there are really 7 districts we want to get information to! So I targeted a part of town kinda close to the TGC Music Center and we only sent out 1,500... (to one district) and 1,500 because I had put this flyer thing off for a couple weeks cuz I hadn't realized the magnitude of the job.

So, yesterday were the Auditions -- next time I'll ask to have my parent volunteers there 1/2 hour early -- cuz the two that I asked to be there 1/2 hour early were only 20 minutes early, and I had two girls show up to audition 10 minutes early. And of course I wasn't quite ready -- with all the other stuff I was doing -- printing out the enrollment forms and audition/TGC policy overviews... well, after the first 5 families arrived everyone was there and it was a well-oiled machine.

Our goal was 20 new girls (and some people thought this was overly optimistic, and I'm sure the director herself wasn't thinking we'd get that many...). I believe we have 24 or 25 new girls, plus 4 girls who haven't committed yet... and then there were 10 or so from the week before's "bring a buddy" day.

I love my job. I've never felt this passionate about something AND been given enough responsibility and trust to do things the way I see fit by those whom I answer to. I'm sure my enthusiasm will run its course, and the change of Board members coming at Monday's board meeting I have a bad feeling about... but there are enough 'mindless' kinds of tasks sandwiched between rush deadlines, long and short term projects and they all point to the end goal of enriching young girls' lives and increasing their musical and emotional maturity that I'm not easily bored; there is a lot of potential for growth of the organization and personal satisfaction in being an integral part of helping make it happen. The director makes a huge difference, she's awesome and I need her to stick around for a long long time.

A week ago Saturday was the Concert, and I was right in the middle of program ads for two weeks... the concert was fab, and the front-of-house parents volunteering went really well, too. The past couple of years have been rough for a variety of reasons, so I'm hoping things will continue to stay on track. I have a vested interest in this non-profit organization -- me doing good ensures me good paycheck!!

Making The Rounds... in case you haven't seen it

So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.

Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chap stick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chap stick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chap stick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.

Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.

We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chap stick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind.

And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.

And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chap stick on the cat's butt.

Fear part II

After my final class in PR - which was analyzing PR situations (Tylenol Scare = good PR cuz we still use Tylenol; 3-Mile Island Nuclear Accident = bad PR cuz we're still quite afraid of nuclear energy); I decided working as a PR professional wasn't for me -- I didn't want to be on the front wave of any crisis... I didn't want to talk to press when the airplane crashed, or in healthcare PR when costs skyrocket & HMO's suck... a friend from Pepperdine had gone on to a small Musical Theatre conservatory in Ft. Worth, I applied and was accepted -- got home to Arizona and didn't know how I was going to [1] pay for it or [2] live - I had some relatives in the area but didn't have the nerve to ask them for help. So I stayed at home, started working for American Airlines as a reservation agent, and found barbershop. I had also started working with an independent theater company that helped me form who I am today -- but that is another whole series of posts... it wasn't just a theater company, it is a way of thinking and a way of life, and from the outside looking in it is too close to cult for comfort. But I digress.

I basically flounder around -- not sure what in the world I'm doing for 10 years...

I quit AA to tour the east coast from Boston to Key West with a small musical touring company based in Texas - we performed a Cole Porter Review, a USO style show, an interactive murder mystery show, and a children's 'save the earth' kind of show. That was 3 months and one of the best decisions I have made. ** I came back from that and worked as a receptionist at a local magazine; then I decided I really should have gone for a music degree, auditioned at the University for a vocal scholarship and got a full ride. Had the worst vocal professor on campus and he wouldn't let me jury in the second semester - I wasn't ready and I quit. I shouldn't have quit, yet at the same time the department is extremely political and my situation wouldn't ever have changed (i.e., I wouldn't have been allowed to switch vocal professors) and I didn't want to ruin my voice. ** Then came hell... 4 part time jobs with a two week period in which I had 5... 2 waitress jobs (one at a karaoke place; one an early morning shift at a 24-hour student-y restaurant), retail job in the mall, a morning newspaper route that I did -with my mother- (groan), and temporary receptionist.

I eventually went back to AA, and then I quit the theater company and went back to barbershop (I had quit after a year 1/2 because I was working nights and had no money, and it isn't an inexpensive hobby). I've been back in barbershop ever since - even the 5 years in Scotland.

Low Self-esteem, a number of things I seem to be good at and have a heart for, along with the people-pleasing aspect of my personality combine to have provided me with a severe lack of focus on achieving anything. I'd hear someone say, "You should do XYZ, you'd be great at that." So I'd try it. Whether I wanted to or not, it was at least a direction to travel in... since I didn't know what I wanted. But I did and do know what I want. ** This is huge for me to say this ** I want to be paid to do music. Perform. Teach. Coach. Of course, the lack of self-worth doesn't make a very stable place to live emotionally when in a career that constantly rejects you (auditions, performing...). I didn't possess enough sense of self to be able to do that. I haven't 'fought' for anything that hard. Some things come easy for me, so I stick with that. Yet I know the big dreams take work, and I haven't bothered. Difficult to explain.

I believe God created me with a talent, desire & a passion for singing. It is hard for me as a performer to understand the effect other performers have on other people, as I'm pretty critical when I'm just listening as an audience member. So for a long time I have not believed people when they compliment me -- I am gracious and thank them, but in my head I negate every single nice thing that has been said.

All that is changing -- I'm only 39 -- it's only taken be 18 years or so to admit I've run away from things that are hard and difficult, because there has been an easier path that was just as appealing at the time to follow -- no heavy lifting required ;-)

I basically cried the entire week at Pepperdine -- listening to powerful music. Powerful for me because of who I am and what I believe. Frustrated with myself because I keep seem to be missing opportunities -- but that is really just not sticking with anything long enough to be prepared when the opportunities present themselves.

Fear Part I

I'm back. Rascal's fine :-) Himself survived. The dishes were done :-) Not sure what happened in the microwave, but a few minutes this morning has that sorted out.

Pepperdine, as usual, was beautiful and awesome. I didn't take time to reconnect with friends in the area -- too much going on. Didn't take one single picture.

It was 3 full days of reconnecting with God... catching up on the a cappella praise team music scene (and $100 worth of CD's), being convicted (or convinced...) that I've been running away from what is hard and difficult, and while still being scared and wussy about it, am committed to keeping myself open to whatever lies ahead.

Brief history. I started out as a vocal performance major at Pepperdine in 1985. I had auditioned for a music scholarship at the suggestion of my mother, and for lack of a better idea - did so, and they said they'd give me $2,000 to sing, $3,000 if I'd major in music. There were 3 other music majors my freshman year... so thinking they needed another one to round it out. Again, for lack of a better idea, I said yes, I'll be a vocal performance music major. (Voice: The only instrument made by God)

I didn't want to sing opera, or more specifically... I didn't want to sing in foreign languages. It is so extremely shallow, but hey - at least I'm honest about being lazy ;-). Music Theory was 3 days a week - sightsinging, eartraining and written theory; 1/2 hour piano lessons, 1-hour voice lessons, choir 3 days a week, had to be in the fall musical (Camelot), the spring Opera Workshop (The Medium by Carlo Menotti -- yay -an Italian who wrote one-act operas in English!!) along with the normal general classes. I was extremely insecure about any singing talent I had - and being in theory with the #1 Soprano and Bass of the Texas High School All-State choir (i.e., excellent sight-readers), I was not prepared for the competition I didn't want to be in. And Theory was kicking my butt.

Along with the normal insecurities (too fat, not pretty enough, out of shape, too poor blah blah blah) I ended up not returning to Pepperdine for my sophomore year - much to my mother's dismay. Cutting out all the reasons why, I returned in January of 1988 - went to London for summer school that summer, made a whole new group of friends, was scared off from going into Education (should have at least spoken to an advisor before making that decision!), flipped through my catalogue "no math, no science.... Hey - Public Relations" and I adored my major. I participated in all music things I wanted to- what a difference in attitude when I didn't "HAVE" to -- and graduated in December of 1990 with a PR major, English and Music minors.

have to get ready for work - part 2 coming later