It is 5:52 pm - himself gets off work at 6pm - I've done his laundry, half of mine, unloaded the dishwasher and loaded it, put away the clean dishes lying out on the counter and emptied the kitchen garbage can. I talked to my friend who came over to watch the Oscars with me for over an hour -- she's always fun to talk to - had to go plug my phone in cuz the battery started dying; then talked to another friend for 43 minutes (doncha love cell phones?)... but I've not dressed or even brushed my teeth. gross, huh? I'm getting ready to go brush my teeth in a minute. I'm thinking I'll go walk for 1/2 an hour in front of HGTV and then maybe shower... haven't spent a second figuring out what I'm going to sing on Wednesday -- but started an email to a guy I want to hire to record songs *I* want to sing in *MY* key (vs. canned music aka Karaoke backtracks), which I think will make a huge difference in my attitude of pursuing singing.
I watched Diana Ross on Inside the Actor's Studio (love that TiVo!) -- and as usual I cry -- I'm thinking long and hard about what I'm wanting to express here.... In many ways I have a lot of fear when it comes to performing and following that dream. The opportunities music and acting give musicians and actors regarding emotional release is something I envy. It is a safe environment for delving into darker worlds and emotions that *I* don't want to live in real life. To explore human-ness and all that we are is fascinating to me -- I often wish I had pursued psychology (since I was a chicken wuss and didn't pursue performing) -- the thought of more school back then was daunting (cuz everyone knew/knows you have to have at minimum a master's degree in psych or counseling to achieve any kind of career in it...) -- but acting and to a lesser extent, singing, those activities (jobs, careers, opportunities) can give a performer an opportunity to cross over to "the dark side" without having to live there or stay there, but to become a stronger person having seen it. I don't know if I'm making sense.
These thoughts clarified themselves watching Diana Ross talk -- I now want to see "Lady Sings the Blues" -- YET while watching her sing on the show, I didn't see her communicating as much as I saw her emoting [the same emotion].
Relating to my fear - fear of hard work, fear of rejection, fear of being out of my comfort zone - which is going to those dark places and being afraid I wouldn't come out... afraid of my physical self and of showing too much of who I am that I don't want others to see...
I saw Babel -- excellent film (with similarities to Crash for the small vignettes, only tied together with a thin thread that isn't obviously kept from the audience, that being said, sure am glad I didn't see it with step-dad... he's a nightmare to watch anything with, really!!). I'm not sure why Cate Blanchett was nominated, I think she's a fab actress, certainly.... but I certainly understand why Rinko Kikuchi was. Wow. Her performance in this film, everything she emotes, shows, goes through, takes off... it all sums up perfectly why I didn't pursue musical theatre or acting.
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Oops... realize now that it was Letters from Iwo Jima that was nominated, NOT Flags ... easily confused, being directed by the same director (Clint Eastwood) ... thrilled Sunshine got Best Original Screenplay, Thrilled Helen Mirren got Best Actress, Thrilled Jennifer Hudson got Best Supporting, Really Really Happy for Forrest Whitaker for Best Actor, Thrilled for Martin Scorsese on his First (so hard to believe) Oscar for Directing -- a bit surprised The Departed got Best Picture -- but it was a tight, well-put together and well-acted movie.
Where does one see the Best Shorts -- "West Bank Story" is a musical take off on West Side Story about Israel & Pakistan between two Falafel Stands. Really, this is a must see. The short clip shown was might funny -- and humor almost always drives home the point better than anything else.
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Saw Man of the Year with Robin Williams, Laura Linney & Christopher Walken -- very mis-represented movie. Not a bad movie, just not what it was presented and advertised as, and that is just bait and switch, ya know?!
I'm trying to keep track of all the movies we've seen -- and I just lose track. We saw Flyboys a few nights ago -- long movie. They sacrificed some of the acting on some beautiful cinematography -- really cool dogfight in the air scenes... another fair movie.
Waiting to be seen on top of the DVD player is:
- Flushed Away
- Rumor Has It
- Finding Neverland
- Superman Returns
hah. no wonder I'm moaning about all my wasted time...