There's a reason I do a lot of stuff. So I don't have to listen to my own thoughts. Where does this crap in my head come from?! It is paralyzing. Makes me want to run away - I just had a blissful time at mom's with my nose in a book for 2 days -- I don't read anymore unless I'm on an airplane, that is how busy I always feel -- something else I need to be doing. Escape -- that is my purpose in saying yes to so many people and projects.
Today I have nothing on my calendar. Tomorrow same. Monday I've got some gals coming over to sing... (another post), Tuesday is scrapping. Wednesday I'm singing. Saturday is scrapping. An easy week. It is dangerous for me to have open days with no nagging goal in sight. Just opportunity to be on my own with my own thoughts and messy house & messy himself.
Even the 15 minute rule today seems too much. Everywhere I look there is a surface covered with stuff that isn't in the right place. The chaos of my home reflects the chaos of my mind... a quote I read on flylady - and it is true. There are some days I seem to be better at ignoring and can do stuff -- but even with people coming over tomorrow to watch the Oscars, I still have very little motivation, okay, honestly NO motivation to take down the flippin' Christmas Tree.
*sigh* I think it is hormonal - and I know it will pass and I'll feel better... the trick is to do IT (whatever it is at the time) despite how I *feel* (for that is the essence of self-discipline). I'm such a feel-y person that I don't check in with my brain, instead letting all the emotions run things -- and at 39, it still ain't workin' for me real well. [duh]
Just typing that paragraph helps me feel better. Set my timer. 15 minutes to clear my craft table so I can at least scrap today. Thanks for listening :-)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I've seen all but 'Babel' now -- films up for Best Picture Awards. So far I'm rooting for The Queen, or Little Miss Sunshine. The Departed was well acted but a bit graphically violent for me, and Flags Of Our Fathers was good, meaningful and well-meaning, but I don't think all the elements came together for a Best Picture. Helen Mirren was outstanding in The Queen. Leonardo Di Caprio was also excellent in the Departed. No cast member stands out in Sunshine, they as an ensemble were all really fab. If you haven't seen it, you should -- funny funny! But also a great message. No one really stands out individually or even as an ensemble to me in Flags.