Labor Day

It's still hot.

I'm still crabby.

I have one good day and like, 9 bad ones.

Self-discipline is miles away.

But my kitchen floor was mopped at 10:25pm this evening.
And 3/4's of my counters are clean and sanitized.
And the only dishes at my sink are two water cups.

And there will be coffee at 5am.

Spent the weekend at mom's -- finished the book I started when I was up canning peaches -- brought back some canned peaches, peach & apple jam, homemade applesauce & spiced peaches.

working like you don't need the money

If you had all the resources in the world, and didn't need to work for money -- what would you do?

I'd draw, paint, sing, sew, act... and somehow help people by doing it. Help them see a sunnier side of life, of themselves... that it is okay to be silly, and humor doesn't have to dig at someone else to be funny. To share a part of themselves and be vulnerable in a safe environment. And to feel the joy of applause, of making someone laugh, of overcoming fear.

I'd get people together. I love planning reunions.... reconnecting with friends I've not heard from or seen for years -- and would love to be that kind of event planner.

I'd learn constantly -- new skills, discover new authors, new musicians, how to build things. Just be in school or classes all the time.

Why didn't someone tell me during high school when I was thinking about college to not listen to that inner voice that was saying "Get a real major -- art isn't a real major... and okay, you'll get a music scholarship, but really -- what is THAT all about?"

I'm really in a bad mental space right now -- can't seem to shake the negative. I'm blaming PMS and the heat. I'm zapped. Today was better than yesterday... but that ain't sayin' much. Trying hard to get out of myself a bit, but I'm so miserable I can't stay focused. Praying constantly. I'm snapping and grouchy, and tired.

I am extremely thankful for a/c, my pool, and ice cream.

Pissing & Moaning

I'm very tired, which makes me crabby and really grumpy.

Himself told me that when I vent I irritate him. That sucked. Couldn't even talk about my sucky last 2 or 3 days right.

Tears, Man.

I was excited about the 'doo' tomorrow, not so much right now.

We're all tired and I'm not going to be stopping until May 20th.

So, if I haven't posted, you'll know why.

Inspiration

There are some blogs I read that make me want to write wiser, be a deeper thinker, not complain so much, and spread the vision of peace, love and joy.

I just finished reading "The Yada Yada Prayer Group" by Neta Jackson and it is an easy read, but makes some good solid points about admitting who we really are (or perhaps are not) in the eyes of God. So, today has been emotional... I wanted to get up and "Be Productive" - and I've only been somewhat productive. Dishes done, dishwasher unloaded... some craft things put away, a book finished, some recipes looked up and a plan for dinner on this New Year's Eve Day -- the last day of 2007.

40 years ago I was born -- and I was hoping to be more insightful and inspirational in my blog posts around that time... but life had some other things to throw my way. So how do so many people have a crappy crappy day/week/month and still manage to see the silver lining... AND be able to write about it?

There are days I just don't feel like expressing anything, let alone try and write. And then there are days like today where I post 3 times in one day.

Getting outside of ourselves I know is key -- yet I have to admit reluctantly.... that I think I enjoy wallowing in the self-pity. That is hard for me to say. I believe we always have a choice, and sometimes yes, we need to feel the emotion, perhaps even allow a little wallowing, and then choose to be happier, more content, thankful, joyful through the struggle of whatever it is we're going through.

So as Halle Berry has said, "Just put on your big girl pants and do it!" is a discipline I need to embrace -- and find the inspiration and allow cheerful words and silver linings to lift the clouds adn confusion.

Time to go to Target now ;-)

Happy Friday the 13th

It's raining!! Usually I sleep with the door cracked open, and this morning it was closed because it was really windy last night and it creaking back and forth would've driven me nuts... anyway -- I heard what sounded like rain, and thought "No one -- not ONE radio person said there even MIGHT be rain... !" Not that I'm complaining about rain -- we love here in the desert!! And it wasn't driving rain... more like spitting -- refreshing.

I'm grumpy today -- trying hard to come out of it -- went to bed at 9:30 or 10:00 and meant to be in bed by 8pm... luckily I hadn't gone to sleep 'cuz my cell rang at 9:03 with a panicked musical director on the other end... but all is well.

I'm loving my new job, but don't have time to say much! Off to work!!

Edited for grammar.