Inspiration

There are some blogs I read that make me want to write wiser, be a deeper thinker, not complain so much, and spread the vision of peace, love and joy.

I just finished reading "The Yada Yada Prayer Group" by Neta Jackson and it is an easy read, but makes some good solid points about admitting who we really are (or perhaps are not) in the eyes of God. So, today has been emotional... I wanted to get up and "Be Productive" - and I've only been somewhat productive. Dishes done, dishwasher unloaded... some craft things put away, a book finished, some recipes looked up and a plan for dinner on this New Year's Eve Day -- the last day of 2007.

40 years ago I was born -- and I was hoping to be more insightful and inspirational in my blog posts around that time... but life had some other things to throw my way. So how do so many people have a crappy crappy day/week/month and still manage to see the silver lining... AND be able to write about it?

There are days I just don't feel like expressing anything, let alone try and write. And then there are days like today where I post 3 times in one day.

Getting outside of ourselves I know is key -- yet I have to admit reluctantly.... that I think I enjoy wallowing in the self-pity. That is hard for me to say. I believe we always have a choice, and sometimes yes, we need to feel the emotion, perhaps even allow a little wallowing, and then choose to be happier, more content, thankful, joyful through the struggle of whatever it is we're going through.

So as Halle Berry has said, "Just put on your big girl pants and do it!" is a discipline I need to embrace -- and find the inspiration and allow cheerful words and silver linings to lift the clouds adn confusion.

Time to go to Target now ;-)

New Year - New Look

Inspired by Coffeegal -- Rascal is the mascot (isn't he a great dog?!)...

I'll have to get my links back up (yikes)... but otherwise, I didn't lose a lot in the old blog because I hadn't done a lot.

New Year's Eve Day 2008

Goals (not resolutions!) for 2008 (and beyond):

Stick with a routine of the following:

[1] Spend 15 minutes a day cleaning the kitchen

[2] Spend 15 minutes a day (6 days a week) on other house cleaning projects (i.e., bathrooms, floors, picking up the public areas)

[3] Do one load of laundry every day (5 days a week)

[4] Go to the gym 5 days a week. Note I'm not saying what I have to do there, or the time limit... but to appear and do something physical for at least 20 minutes would be the start of this goal)

[5] Really start bulk cooking (so reliance on fast convenience food is reduced) and hide vegetables in the recipes (I bought Jerry Seinfeld's wife's online 'hide vegetables in foods your kids will eat' cookbook, so will try to incorporate that in the recipes I try!) so himself's eating will be healthier despite himself.

[6] Aim for bedtime to be 10pm so I can get up between 5:30 and 6am -- get the housework/laundry done, and take 30 minutes for Bible Study, prayer, meditation and a cuppa.

[7] Do something 5 days a week toward scrapping for others (my client, my sister, my friend's 40th b/day album which will be a year late by Feb 9th, my mom's mother's day album of pictures of her & her brothers and sisters when she was really little)

[8] Do something every day toward scrapping my own stuff -- espeically the Life Goals/All About Me album -- as a reminder to what I'm aspiring to, to remind myself of what I have accomplished during my down times.

[9] Get my Handcrafted Card stash back up so I have a card that I've done ready for any occasion; I imagine this means stamping once a week at least.

[10] In order to get 7,8 & 9 accomplished, I have to keep my studio somewhat neat and organized. So this goal is to spend 15 minutes putting things away every day; putting elements of projects away after I'm done with them, and spending an additional few minutes labelling & generally organizing things in my room.

Starting January 3rd - after I go back to work.

and [11] - try to work on Christmas projects all year round, this season was so not festive... not organized... hmmmmm... wonder why in the world things were so unorganized and topsy-turvy ?!?! :-P

Merry Christmas

Things are better. L actually did not go to jail, or see a judge. The deputies just drove around with him in the car I think, and brought him back around 2 or 3 am Sunday morning. So that was a good thing.

I got our tree up with help from my pal T, and himself hung lights in the front of the house and how festive it is. The house is still mostly a huge mess, but that's okay. Himself and I had our Christmas, per our tradition, at 12:15 am midnight, after watching "Pirates of the Caribbean: Three" -- himself got the surround sound set up and so we had movie night.

I'm thankful for my friends who have listened to the story of 'the drama that is my life' and let me eat cookies, and roll my eyes countless times as the situations that we find ourselves in; for a great new house and roof over my head, for my amazing husband who spoils me more and more.

I'm so thankful for so many things, and while I ask that we keep the prayers, good vibes and energy coming... I know this is just a normal 'blip' in the road of life, that we'll all adjust and life will go on -- just as it is supposed to be.

We had a lovely time at friends for Christmas dinner -- played games and sang carols around the piano -- a very lovely lovely evening.

Again, I have so very much to be thankful for :D

Thank you my friends for the words of encouragement!!

... and the holiday fun keeps rolling...

Stepdad L was arrested tonight. Two Deputy Sheriffs came to the door at mom's (where I'm spending tonight and we're calling it Christmas, sort of) at 10:00pm - L was already in bed after coming home from dinner with his sister and her husband at the country club here... and the sheriffs just were here to ask him questions, and most likely give him a ticket for backing into a car as he was leaving the parking lot of the restaurant... they were saying it was a "hit and run" becuase L didn't stop and at least (at the very least) leave a note on the car he backed into; which is a misdemeanor. The sheriffs were completely prepared to just give him a ticket, collect his insurance information and let it go, but L was confrontational, a bit confused (he'd been woken from a sound sleep and had had a few drinks and was standing in his robe), then got belligerent and would not answer the questions.

When he raised his voice is when it got ugly -- and the Deputies were nice, very professional, very patient, and after 15 minutes of "wait, let me get this straight... I hit a bush and it is a hit and run?" [because all L heard was that he hit a bush and now they're arresting him... he didn't listen to the entire sentence - L backed over a curb, hit a bush AND the car on the other side of the bush] -- and "I'm going to bed, this is ****" or "I don't understand, who let you in here?" [mom had asked them in -- we didn't know what they were asking about, but I had a bad feeling about it].

There was an eye-witness who saw the accident, got plates, described L to a "T" *and* heard his sister say to him in the truck, "you hit it/them L" -- which is why the sheriffs came to the door.

This is a year of firsts for me -- first time I've been between two people, one of whom refuses to speak again to the other, and the first time I've witnessed an arrest happen to someone I know less than 5 feet away from me in his robe...

I'm at quite a loss for words.

And now it is looking like my family from OKC isn't going to make it out for New Year's, and we're not doing our Open House because we're not ready and the house isn't organized yet... my tree still isn't up, and it is just hard.

Quiet is good --

Dan Fogelberg

He passed away from prostrate cancer just this past Monday. I grew up on Dan Fogelberg songs, I love "Same Old Lang Syne"; "Along The Road"; "Longer"; "Leader of the Band" -- and more recently the his "Rhythm of the Rain" album.

I wouldn't say I was a huge huge fan, but I still cried after hearing on the radio that he'd passed away and then they played "Same Old Lang Syne" -- which makes me tear up usually anyway.

Acoustic guitar, often meaningful & poignant lyrics... I'm sad.

Not Feeling Creative

I don't have anything I feel compelled to say...

Am taking tomorrow sort of off -- but have to run errands for work - mail, mostly... and finish up some thank you letter's. I plan to go to the office to wrap himself's presents... actually have a Gi-normous list of things to do tomorrow... did deliver the Table Saw (main prezzie for himself) tonight -- he's gonna have 3 days before Christmas with which to play with it, so it doesn't make sense to wait until Christmas day to give it to him. My big present is a new car stereo -- YAY!! The CD player in my car is very tempermental. It will take the CD but not play. Or eject. The radio doesn't get to play either... so I'm getting one that has an ipod doo-hickey, and something I can hook my mini-disc up to, too... So I'm excited.

Himself got the shelves up in my room, and I want to get that organized... I love finding homes for my beloved craft goodies.

Had celebratory lunch with office co-workers at Great Wall of China -- pretty good - yummy potstickers and crabpuffs. I love crabpuffs. I found fun socks, (I love fun footwear), Lindor chocolate (Love Lindor chocolate - Milk Chocolate please), large silver initial ornaments, pretty gift boxes, and my ornaments -- everyone got the same thing, slightly different versions. They seemed to like it.

I'm feeling really behind -- so many things I was going to do differently this Christmas, like craft all year long -- ha! Moving wasn't part of the plan, so that threw a wrench in it. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Not sure what family will be here, I'm supposed to be checking out hotel availability & prices, but haven't -- work has been so busy and I've been really pooped... staying up late but not accomplishing much. Typical.

The TGC Winter Concert was really excellent. We almost sold out! We leave the year with $10,000 in the bank, so things are looking up compared to this time last year, I'm told. I'm so pleased. I love my job, love the folks I work with, and love what the organization is all about.

Not sure what I'm going to do yet to keep myself singing, though. Very torn, divided and on the fence about it. Going to Scottsdale twice a month would give me the opportunity to see mom more often -- and my frustrations would be less in some respects. Staying and singing with what I call 'my' chorus at this time is an opportunity that only comes like every 30 years... when we have the chance to actually win this region's contest, and I like the thought of being a part of that. And I can't afford to go to Hawaii this year for International.

And I thought I had nothing to write about!

Just for Coffee Gal ;-)

It's not a lot but:

I've been sick with a cold/sinus thing since my Root Canal Dec 14th

I have another Dentist appointment tomorrow to get at least 2 (maybe more) cavities done.

I have a Dentist appointment *next* Thursday for Root Canal & Crown #2

The permanent crown I had put on last week is wonderful -- that temporary crown really sucked.

I just pulled a literal all-nighter putting together the TGC Winter Concert Program in order to get it to the printer for them to be able to start printing this morning. Yes -- I left the TGC office this morning at 4:45 am -- heard Mrs. Grant & Bobby Rich at 94.9 MixFM start the morning show at 5:08 am with a review of the Impossible Question ~ which, by the way, was answered by my friend Gail, who sings fabulous bass with Tucson Desert Harmony Chorus & "Havin' A Blast" quartet. So cool! [The question was - 2 or 3 new ones of these are created every day, and there are tens of thousands around the world - what is it? Answer: Religions. Kinda scary...]

My card reader isn't working, so I can't get pictures off my camera. Hate when that happens.

Had a craft class last Saturday - spent 2 nights prepping with my friend T, who punched 240 circles and scored 240 triangles within the circles while I finished up the Perpetual Calendar project, which was suppose to be a 4 month on-going project and turned into 6 months. ack.
The class was one of the hardest they've done -- a simple project that is not easy... making a Christmas ornament from the circles -- and if I could get the pictures off my camera I'd post some!

The Saturday before that I sang at the Fellowship Square Villa 2 Tree Decorating Party ~ led a sing-a-long which was way fun... always is!

This Saturday is the TGC Concert, so I'm up to my ears at work....

We've moved -- and I'll post the drama later. We've painted two of the 3 walls that will be painted in the kitchen - a 'lemon fluff neon-in-the-wrong-light yellow' -- and hopefully himself will do what needs to be done to get the fridge moved to the new location, which will allow us to purchase a pantry type storage, paint the 3rd wall, and then allow me to really get the kitchen put together and get the massive boxes that are sitting on the dining table cleared.

I have 3 fabulous shelves in the craft room.... need about a dozen more, but I actually worked in the room for the craft class and just need to tweek some craft homes for my supplies.

In the meantime, I'm not sure when I'm going to get our tree up -- our front door and front closet (which holds the Christmas stuff) are blocked by dining room chairs, there are still boxes in the middle of the living room and nothing really put away yet... so I don't want to decorate it now, which is making me a little sad... last year my Christmas stuff didn't come down until March. All I'm saying is if I don't get it up sooner than later we might run into the same issues....

I'm re-committing to eating healthier ~ went online and looked for natural remedies and holistic approaches to sinus infections ~ and did you know that often times (according to Chinese Medicine) sinus issues are related to constipation (another area of the body that is blocked) and Candida - abundance of yeast... directly related to too much sugar. So I went out and bought Soy Milk, Stevia and ginger -- made some ginger, lemon & honey tea, am taking garlic pills, cutting down on the fruit juices and diluting with water, and while having a whole night of non-sleep hasn't made me feel better today, at least I'm breathing out of both nostrils most of the time now.

Also saw a lot of Craft logs/blogs/forums this weekend and I'm now in crafty mode and want to pursue doing that more than anything else.... could be connected to this time of year, I suppose.

Well... do have to go to work for a little while today -- much to do!

5:10 am - Why Am I Up?

Because yesterday himself told my mom he was never going to speak to her (or her husband) again, and L is never ever welcome in his(our) house, and mom only when himself isn't around.

Great.

* Surprise!!! *

The people that came to my 40th surprise party... some I've not seen in two years, some in a few months, and some I've not seen OR talked to in over 13 years (since after college)!!!

It was so cool to walk into the room and see my best friend, roomie and Quilters castmate J (from Texas) ~ and another excellent friend, college roomie and Quilters castmate, S (from Idaho), along with another Quilters castmate and excellent friend (from Mesa... not as impressive but I've still not seen her in two years...), R. Plus relatives I've not seen in Eons... it was way fun!!

Thanks mom and himself... who rocks, because *I got an ipod* for my birthday... yay me!!! Can't wait to start loading it up!!!! :D :D

Happy Thanksgiving, and I hope everyone has had a blessed few days with loved ones.

And Rascal was an outstanding dog up here at mom and step-dad's. Just outstanding. We're so proud ;-).

New Doors

<--- Before: Big Gaping Hole in the back of our new house... but isn't it a nice, neat hole?










<- After: oooooohhhh.... ahhhh..... it's a beauty, eh?

Better....

Monday night I was feeling really awful... Tuesday morning I just felt sort of rotten.

On Monday himself said I shouldn't go into work, but stay home and continue on the road to recovery. I have to admit the thought of it sounded good, but I went in for a few hours to put some things in order.

My house still needs to be put in order... figure out where the dishes should go in the kitchen... how to arrange my craft room... not to mention how to get the bathroom stuff figured out... how do we get so much stuff that is supposed to be in the bathroom? Good Grief. Baskets and baskets.... powder, lotion, sunblock, scrubbies, pumice stones, combs & brushes, hair gel, makeup, the girly stuff, himself's low-maintenance but still taking up valuable space shaving kit (not that he shaves, he's got a full beard) full of beard trimming stuff. The bathrooms have no towel racks, so I have over the door hooks for the towels, but they're woefully short on any kind of storage space.

My tooth is still tender, and I'm not feeling great, but at least I can breathe through my nose at night, therefore not waking up as if someone exchanged sandpaper for the insides of my throat.

I'll be driving up to my mom's and step-dad's for Thanksgiving today - himself will drive up with Rascal tomorrow. There's been a lot of drama between Rascal, my mom, my mom coming down to help me clean and paint and prepare the new house to move into after himself and dad worked for a week putting the door in, and step-dad L. Add to this my mom's sadness and emotions regarding me (and himself) not being in a position to buy her house. Maybe we are missing out, but the bottom line is that with L in the picture, there wouldn't be any peace. Mom wouldn't make us pay back the "Gift" of $50,000 equity that she and L proposed to help us get a loan for the other house... but L would be there pushing and commenting and questioning... and it would be miserable.

At least it will only be 7 or 8 for Thanksgiving... *whew*

oh yeah. And I turn 40 (only 4 more shopping days, 'cuz the internet will still be open *wink wink*) on Sunday. But that is another post.

I'm so thankful for so many things ~ himself, my mom, my dad, my family and good friends, my health, the abundance of blessings that we have. My thoughts go to so many good things, and I just thank God for all of us and all of it.

Moving... Root Canal... Doggie Drama.... Sick with a Cold

That about sums up my week.

*sigh*

Never had family drama with Thanksgiving before, don't recommend it.

Mom's here to help - yay!

Here comes the year of the dentist. joy oh joy.

Thursday Thirteen - Favorite TV Theme songs

Since I haven't done a Thursday Thirteen in I don't know how long, I figured no one would care that it is Sunday morning.

Blatantly Copied from Chelle

Thirteen Favorite TV Theme Songs (in no particular order):

The Adams Family

The Love Boat

The Courtship Of Eddie's Father

I Dream Of Jeannie // Family Affair (these two always end up sounding like the same thing when I hum them...)

One Day At A Time

The Facts Of Life

M*A*S*H*

Mork & Mindy

The Office

Friends

The Mary Tyler Moore Show

King of the Hill

Cheers

Bonus:

The Rockford Files

Welcome Back Kotter

Batman

Jeopardy

Mission Impossible

All In The Family

Green Acres

Hogan's Heroes


you can go here to listen to some of the above...

Thursday Thirteen

Wow... it's been so long!

Thirteen Places I have been (I really need to read some other Thirteens to get inspired...)

1. Scotland. well duh.

2. England. again, duh.

3. Ireland. The Republic of, not Northern.

4. Mexico - Nogales & Rocky Point

5. Turkey

6. Malta

7. New York City

8. Key West

9. Boston

10. Crescent City, Oregon

11. Oklahoma City

12. Houston

13. Chicago - the airport

Liked how I tried to get the extremes of the continental usa?

Monday Monday

I didn't have to work today. Today was one of the first Monday's I really and truly took *off*! Of course, I did go in for 3 hours on Saturday and 3 hours on Sunday. But the quality of 6 hours on the weekend versus the Monday hectic chaos is so different ;-).

My dad is here from Oklahoma - helping himself with the house. I'll post pictures of the window/wall they demo'd - and the beauteous french doors that are now installed. Dad came over today by himself to varnish/seal the back fence, paint the iron screen, and do some work on the bit of wall that will be the new home for the fridge in the kitchen.

Himself hooked up the 'net at the new house, so I've been able to pay my car loan, and look up the closits system I want to put at the end of the craft room. It isn't as cheap as I was hoping, but it is under $1,000... and it gives me a chance to catch up on blogging.


Rascal is sooo much better. He's still skittish around dad, but after a bark or two is calm and overall so much happier when people come into the house. New friend Coffeegal came over the other day and Rascal woofed and did his thing, but then was quiet and calm, and it is just such a change!! Walking in the morning has been a change too -- now that he has some guidelines and parameters.

Dogs 101 is the guy we used, Al Rossomando is the trainer/owner and he was terrific. I highly reccommend him!!

Things have been so busy... Had my work evaluation on Thursday... and no surprises there, which is exactly how you want that kind of thing to go. It only took them 3 months to realize that I am time-management challenged and have a confidence problem. The confidence isn't all the time, nor is it in all things. But there are so many new challenges with the TGC that I want to be sure I'm on the right track with decisions I make. Because, I will make the simplest task as complicated as humanly possible. Which will slow things down. And it will keep things disorganized because who can bother finding the folder in the file in the cabinet in the red section that is for the Ladybugs A to M?

One of the rules of simplicity is - duh - being simple. Keeping categories of organization to a minimum. You know what 2 by 4 hit me with that knowledge today? The Ikea website. Yep. As I'm surfing for cheaper craft organization ideas, I know that Ikea is the super-est place to go for that... and some little cartoon doo-ma-bob plays and now I will remember that in order to keep things simple one must keep it simple. It sounds so redundant when I say it like that.

The reason I'm even blogging about this issue is because I spent 2 hours this morning being overwhelmed by organizing my rubber stamps. And, for those that know, over half of my craft goodies are in Scotland... so I don't even HAVE all my stamps and inks and paper and books and and and.... *sigh* Anyhoo ~ Between Scrapping and Stamping there are lots of categories... do I want to have "flowers" or "Garden & Floral" ? Do Butterflies have their own category or do they belong in "Garden & Floral"? When I want to see what Butterfly stamps I have, will I look under "B" for Butterfly or "Garden & Floral?" See what I mean?

[side note: I'm using himself's laptop at the new house, because the other house has been disconnected... and it is a British Laptop, and the @ key is where the " (quotes) are on the US keyboard. It's driving me a little nuts. AND the ~ ~ sign, which I prefer over the regular 'ol dash- isn't anywhere close to where it lives on the American keyboard. So I keep typing I@m instead of I'm and it is getting a little frustrating. Know my pain. Thanks for reading]

Do I want Autumn to include Halloween and Thanksgiving, or do I want a separate category for each holiday? And really, since no banks are closed on Halloween, is it really a Holiday? Will I remember that the two stamps I have with the 'little old ladies' (2 ladies on one, 3 ladies on the other) are filed under "Little Old Ladies"? Does it matter? It isn't likely that I'll buy duplicates of the little old lady stamps... which is why the whole organization thing is key, so you don't buy doubles. I have 'sets' and 'backgrounds' and 'swirls & flourishes' -- and if I don't do all the stamps at one time I forget what category I decided the Single Stroke paint stamp goes in... borders? backgrounds? Can you see why sometimes I struggle with keeping things simple?

So, instead of figuring out what card the craft class will do in two weeks... I messed around with trying to organize stamps. And I did very little. I'm not happy with what I have done, and want to start again.. but Hello! Isn't that defeating the purpose of getting organized in the first place? I think so. argh. And also... we're moving. If you come into my house, you'd never know we were moving... *sigh* I'm sure himself is more than frustrated at some of the lack of moving that isn't really happening.

So ~~ in other fun news... coffeegal and sang at Splendido at Rancho Vistoso on Friday at their "First Friday" event... explained to me as a casual entertainment late afternoon event that the residents can come to before they go in to dinner. Coffeegal gives an entertaining description of the place on her blog. The smallest retirement apartment there is only 200 square feet smaller than my new house. There were probably a dozen people in the room, and coffeegal got to see me at my panicked worst... missing the turn on the way there because the road had one name for the street if you're going north, and another name for the street if you're going south... I had all the electrics plugged into the wall but not into my actual sound system so I exclaimed "there's no power!" -- then realize after trying new plugs etc... that the problem was me, the user, not the outlet. Then I panicked because the CD player wasn't working. Coffeegal was the voice of reason and calm and very sweetly said that the player was on "radio" and not "CD". Duh. I think she had a great time, lots of laughing going on there!!

The Activities Director was fabulous -- I'm sure she thought I was a loon, but that's okay.

Saturday was dad and himself at the house... finishing up the door/wall... some good conversation and bonding. Sunday was a late start but a nice breakfast at one of our favorite local breakfast/lunch places (which used to be the DMV and is where I went to get my driver's license), and then Sunday evening was a church singing thing, which started out as a favor and turned into a huge blessing for me. My feelings about my performance basically amounted to: it sounded perfect for God.

Tucson is such a small town -- or, the largest small town you'll ever live in. It is just amazing how people I know come back to me through other people or situations. Make sense of that! One of these gals is the friend who is the connection to the lady who organized the singing thing at this church Sunday night. This gal and I attend the same church. There are lots of things happening within the 'denomination' (I hesitate to use the term but it is the one people understand) that I've been raised in, and I've been feeling unsettled for a long long time. She is feeling unsettled too, probably for different reasons.

And isn't it ultimately between myself and God? And between her and God? But that, I'm afraid, is another post.

quick update...

There's so much going on and I want to write it all out and share... but man oh man it would take a long time...

So some high points
today, after singing with my new friend *waves at coffeegal*, I was on my way to help distribute polo shirts for the older two choruses for the TGC... and it was at Raytheon's open house - our contact guy had sent two flyers, the address had already been changed, the whole thing has been one headache after another (because of tight security all the no-no's on site....) and there's more, but no time for all that drama now... my point is -- the road into Raytheon from the road we were dictated to enter from was closed.

Yep. So I'm on the road directing/looking out for TGC parents bringing their girls to the performance giving them alternate directions to the place where they're to be singing.... And while it was a beautiful day - it was hot and sunny... I think that is why I might have a big headache right now (and I don't get many headaches..!)

Alls well -- it was just icing on the cake to the week with work that I've had -- which started last Friday.

On more fun notes:
WE ARE HOMEOWNERS.... (or as himself has says, "Don't call me a homeowner, you homeowner...!").

We got the keys Friday - ordered pizza and sat in our new backyard with Rascal, drinking warm diet 7-up... some photos...So Rascal had a ball burying his first chew in the back yard... our pizza was delicious... and now the painful part -- actually moving.

My dad is supposed to be here this week to help himself, who is off for the week -- and oh the plans!!!

There's the latest news --

P.S.

The weather's GORGEOUS!! cool mornings... warm afternoons... just fabulous weather all the way around!!! (after all my summer griping I wanted to say I Love the Fall in Arizona!!)

Yeah... it's been awhile!

So ~ We're buying a house... this house, to be exact.

It is quite close to Park Place Mall... about 4 miles West of where we're living now, and about 400 square feet smaller. Yikes. 3 bedroom, 1 and 3/4 bath, HUGE yard...

Rascal will be thrilled. We're supposed to get the keys Oct 26th.

It's a long story how we got from renting mom's place to buying our own place, not a bad story... just don't have time for it now.

Life is busy - -haven't taken the time to post, but have thought a lot about posting!!

Labor Day Monday

So ~ Saturday I spent scrapping from 12 noon to 10:30 pm. My pal who is the hostess is going through hell -- and does not deserve it (does anyone, really?). It was good she had us friends over, because we did make her laugh, and took her mind off, and allowed her to express the anger and hate she is feeling toward the soon-to-be-but-not-soon-enough-ex.

Sunday I made it to church and that was good. I always feel rotten when I leave, though. depressed. No one to hang out with afterwards, I suppose -- to go out to eat with or whatever. My friend T is out of town, cuz usually we go out afterwards... when we are both there, which is rare.

The sermon was on The Beatitudes in Matthew 5, specifically Mercy -
"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." I couldn't help but think about Jeff Walling and his incredible, moving and memorable talk on the same passage at Pepperdine in May. Is that fair? Different speakers with probably different focuses on what each was trying to communicate to very different audiences, yet I can't help but compare the presentation of the message. It brought home to me that I need to do something more than just show up.

On my way home I stopped at the craft store because, you know, they had the 50% off any regular priced item... so I dropped $90.00 on regular priced items (sigh) -- there goes the house help!! At least for a little while longer. I'm excited about a couple new stamps I got, a book on organizing your craft space (very much needed for me!!), and a new sizzix die ~ a puzzle pattern. One day I'm going to do a whole scrapbook on puzzle pieces, and something about how I'm becoming me -- the theme for the "All About Me" scrapbook -- *ha ha* as if all of them aren't already all about me.... *rolling the eyes*

Then himself and I went to Denny's for breakfast around 2:30 pm - I love that. I was in the mood for pancakes and my uncle, who knows himself's penchant for Denny's, brought up a coupon a couple weeks ago. [ which reminds me I bought the new Entertainment Book '08, so have to remember to use it!! ] We wandered around a different Big Lots! -- a different location than our usual store, and I found some scrapbook stuff at the nearby dollar store ~ so it was a nice afternoon.

Today I meant to clear off my craft table and get some organization done -- but no - I've just spent the last ... uh... like 6 hours watching barbershop uploads on YouTube. Ack.

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=hav2sing
I only signed up with an account on the site yesterday ~ but you can see what videos I saved... a little insight into the obsession some call a hobby of barbershop singing.

Here is a great speech, written and on video, on the subject of singing barbershop, and how it isn't just a hobby, it is an addiction that needs to be fed. The speech is long, it is funny, it is heartfelt, and it can be about life, not just about barbershop singing. Music is something that is universal -- and I feel today the way I felt in May at Pepperdine Lectures ~ about how much I need to be singing. Sharing the music in me with others. As Jim Henry Says, "We're only given a limited number of notes to sing -- and we need to not squander our notes, but sing every one with care." That isn't quite verbatim, but it's pretty close to what he says in his speech.

I'm feeling inspired. To sing (or live) with the fullest measure. The fullest measure of everything that is good and positive.

[funny how two weeks of every month I'm doom and gloom, and two weeks I'm pollyanna....]

So -- things are better than they were a month ago... although I'm still a lot more fearful than I used to be. About everything. Which makes me angry. But I believe everything happens for a reason and so I'm going to choose to be thankful regarding my circumstances. :D