There are some blogs I read that make me want to write wiser, be a deeper thinker, not complain so much, and spread the vision of peace, love and joy.
I just finished reading "The Yada Yada Prayer Group" by Neta Jackson and it is an easy read, but makes some good solid points about admitting who we really are (or perhaps are not) in the eyes of God. So, today has been emotional... I wanted to get up and "Be Productive" - and I've only been somewhat productive. Dishes done, dishwasher unloaded... some craft things put away, a book finished, some recipes looked up and a plan for dinner on this New Year's Eve Day -- the last day of 2007.
40 years ago I was born -- and I was hoping to be more insightful and inspirational in my blog posts around that time... but life had some other things to throw my way. So how do so many people have a crappy crappy day/week/month and still manage to see the silver lining... AND be able to write about it?
There are days I just don't feel like expressing anything, let alone try and write. And then there are days like today where I post 3 times in one day.
Getting outside of ourselves I know is key -- yet I have to admit reluctantly.... that I think I enjoy wallowing in the self-pity. That is hard for me to say. I believe we always have a choice, and sometimes yes, we need to feel the emotion, perhaps even allow a little wallowing, and then choose to be happier, more content, thankful, joyful through the struggle of whatever it is we're going through.
So as Halle Berry has said, "Just put on your big girl pants and do it!" is a discipline I need to embrace -- and find the inspiration and allow cheerful words and silver linings to lift the clouds adn confusion.
Time to go to Target now ;-)
Monday, December 31, 2007
New Year - New Look
Inspired by Coffeegal -- Rascal is the mascot (isn't he a great dog?!)...
I'll have to get my links back up (yikes)... but otherwise, I didn't lose a lot in the old blog because I hadn't done a lot.
I'll have to get my links back up (yikes)... but otherwise, I didn't lose a lot in the old blog because I hadn't done a lot.
New Year's Eve Day 2008
Goals (not resolutions!) for 2008 (and beyond):
Stick with a routine of the following:
[1] Spend 15 minutes a day cleaning the kitchen
[2] Spend 15 minutes a day (6 days a week) on other house cleaning projects (i.e., bathrooms, floors, picking up the public areas)
[3] Do one load of laundry every day (5 days a week)
[4] Go to the gym 5 days a week. Note I'm not saying what I have to do there, or the time limit... but to appear and do something physical for at least 20 minutes would be the start of this goal)
[5] Really start bulk cooking (so reliance on fast convenience food is reduced) and hide vegetables in the recipes (I bought Jerry Seinfeld's wife's online 'hide vegetables in foods your kids will eat' cookbook, so will try to incorporate that in the recipes I try!) so himself's eating will be healthier despite himself.
[6] Aim for bedtime to be 10pm so I can get up between 5:30 and 6am -- get the housework/laundry done, and take 30 minutes for Bible Study, prayer, meditation and a cuppa.
[7] Do something 5 days a week toward scrapping for others (my client, my sister, my friend's 40th b/day album which will be a year late by Feb 9th, my mom's mother's day album of pictures of her & her brothers and sisters when she was really little)
[8] Do something every day toward scrapping my own stuff -- espeically the Life Goals/All About Me album -- as a reminder to what I'm aspiring to, to remind myself of what I have accomplished during my down times.
[9] Get my Handcrafted Card stash back up so I have a card that I've done ready for any occasion; I imagine this means stamping once a week at least.
[10] In order to get 7,8 & 9 accomplished, I have to keep my studio somewhat neat and organized. So this goal is to spend 15 minutes putting things away every day; putting elements of projects away after I'm done with them, and spending an additional few minutes labelling & generally organizing things in my room.
Starting January 3rd - after I go back to work.
and [11] - try to work on Christmas projects all year round, this season was so not festive... not organized... hmmmmm... wonder why in the world things were so unorganized and topsy-turvy ?!?! :-P
Stick with a routine of the following:
[1] Spend 15 minutes a day cleaning the kitchen
[2] Spend 15 minutes a day (6 days a week) on other house cleaning projects (i.e., bathrooms, floors, picking up the public areas)
[3] Do one load of laundry every day (5 days a week)
[4] Go to the gym 5 days a week. Note I'm not saying what I have to do there, or the time limit... but to appear and do something physical for at least 20 minutes would be the start of this goal)
[5] Really start bulk cooking (so reliance on fast convenience food is reduced) and hide vegetables in the recipes (I bought Jerry Seinfeld's wife's online 'hide vegetables in foods your kids will eat' cookbook, so will try to incorporate that in the recipes I try!) so himself's eating will be healthier despite himself.
[6] Aim for bedtime to be 10pm so I can get up between 5:30 and 6am -- get the housework/laundry done, and take 30 minutes for Bible Study, prayer, meditation and a cuppa.
[7] Do something 5 days a week toward scrapping for others (my client, my sister, my friend's 40th b/day album which will be a year late by Feb 9th, my mom's mother's day album of pictures of her & her brothers and sisters when she was really little)
[8] Do something every day toward scrapping my own stuff -- espeically the Life Goals/All About Me album -- as a reminder to what I'm aspiring to, to remind myself of what I have accomplished during my down times.
[9] Get my Handcrafted Card stash back up so I have a card that I've done ready for any occasion; I imagine this means stamping once a week at least.
[10] In order to get 7,8 & 9 accomplished, I have to keep my studio somewhat neat and organized. So this goal is to spend 15 minutes putting things away every day; putting elements of projects away after I'm done with them, and spending an additional few minutes labelling & generally organizing things in my room.
Starting January 3rd - after I go back to work.
and [11] - try to work on Christmas projects all year round, this season was so not festive... not organized... hmmmmm... wonder why in the world things were so unorganized and topsy-turvy ?!?! :-P
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Merry Christmas
Things are better. L actually did not go to jail, or see a judge. The deputies just drove around with him in the car I think, and brought him back around 2 or 3 am Sunday morning. So that was a good thing.
I got our tree up with help from my pal T, and himself hung lights in the front of the house and how festive it is. The house is still mostly a huge mess, but that's okay. Himself and I had our Christmas, per our tradition, at 12:15 am midnight, after watching "Pirates of the Caribbean: Three" -- himself got the surround sound set up and so we had movie night.
I'm thankful for my friends who have listened to the story of 'the drama that is my life' and let me eat cookies, and roll my eyes countless times as the situations that we find ourselves in; for a great new house and roof over my head, for my amazing husband who spoils me more and more.
I'm so thankful for so many things, and while I ask that we keep the prayers, good vibes and energy coming... I know this is just a normal 'blip' in the road of life, that we'll all adjust and life will go on -- just as it is supposed to be.
We had a lovely time at friends for Christmas dinner -- played games and sang carols around the piano -- a very lovely lovely evening.
Again, I have so very much to be thankful for :D
Thank you my friends for the words of encouragement!!
I got our tree up with help from my pal T, and himself hung lights in the front of the house and how festive it is. The house is still mostly a huge mess, but that's okay. Himself and I had our Christmas, per our tradition, at 12:15 am midnight, after watching "Pirates of the Caribbean: Three" -- himself got the surround sound set up and so we had movie night.
I'm thankful for my friends who have listened to the story of 'the drama that is my life' and let me eat cookies, and roll my eyes countless times as the situations that we find ourselves in; for a great new house and roof over my head, for my amazing husband who spoils me more and more.
I'm so thankful for so many things, and while I ask that we keep the prayers, good vibes and energy coming... I know this is just a normal 'blip' in the road of life, that we'll all adjust and life will go on -- just as it is supposed to be.
We had a lovely time at friends for Christmas dinner -- played games and sang carols around the piano -- a very lovely lovely evening.
Again, I have so very much to be thankful for :D
Thank you my friends for the words of encouragement!!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
... and the holiday fun keeps rolling...
Stepdad L was arrested tonight. Two Deputy Sheriffs came to the door at mom's (where I'm spending tonight and we're calling it Christmas, sort of) at 10:00pm - L was already in bed after coming home from dinner with his sister and her husband at the country club here... and the sheriffs just were here to ask him questions, and most likely give him a ticket for backing into a car as he was leaving the parking lot of the restaurant... they were saying it was a "hit and run" becuase L didn't stop and at least (at the very least) leave a note on the car he backed into; which is a misdemeanor. The sheriffs were completely prepared to just give him a ticket, collect his insurance information and let it go, but L was confrontational, a bit confused (he'd been woken from a sound sleep and had had a few drinks and was standing in his robe), then got belligerent and would not answer the questions.
When he raised his voice is when it got ugly -- and the Deputies were nice, very professional, very patient, and after 15 minutes of "wait, let me get this straight... I hit a bush and it is a hit and run?" [because all L heard was that he hit a bush and now they're arresting him... he didn't listen to the entire sentence - L backed over a curb, hit a bush AND the car on the other side of the bush] -- and "I'm going to bed, this is ****" or "I don't understand, who let you in here?" [mom had asked them in -- we didn't know what they were asking about, but I had a bad feeling about it].
There was an eye-witness who saw the accident, got plates, described L to a "T" *and* heard his sister say to him in the truck, "you hit it/them L" -- which is why the sheriffs came to the door.
This is a year of firsts for me -- first time I've been between two people, one of whom refuses to speak again to the other, and the first time I've witnessed an arrest happen to someone I know less than 5 feet away from me in his robe...
I'm at quite a loss for words.
And now it is looking like my family from OKC isn't going to make it out for New Year's, and we're not doing our Open House because we're not ready and the house isn't organized yet... my tree still isn't up, and it is just hard.
Quiet is good --
When he raised his voice is when it got ugly -- and the Deputies were nice, very professional, very patient, and after 15 minutes of "wait, let me get this straight... I hit a bush and it is a hit and run?" [because all L heard was that he hit a bush and now they're arresting him... he didn't listen to the entire sentence - L backed over a curb, hit a bush AND the car on the other side of the bush] -- and "I'm going to bed, this is ****" or "I don't understand, who let you in here?" [mom had asked them in -- we didn't know what they were asking about, but I had a bad feeling about it].
There was an eye-witness who saw the accident, got plates, described L to a "T" *and* heard his sister say to him in the truck, "you hit it/them L" -- which is why the sheriffs came to the door.
This is a year of firsts for me -- first time I've been between two people, one of whom refuses to speak again to the other, and the first time I've witnessed an arrest happen to someone I know less than 5 feet away from me in his robe...
I'm at quite a loss for words.
And now it is looking like my family from OKC isn't going to make it out for New Year's, and we're not doing our Open House because we're not ready and the house isn't organized yet... my tree still isn't up, and it is just hard.
Quiet is good --
Friday, December 21, 2007
Dan Fogelberg
He passed away from prostrate cancer just this past Monday. I grew up on Dan Fogelberg songs, I love "Same Old Lang Syne"; "Along The Road"; "Longer"; "Leader of the Band" -- and more recently the his "Rhythm of the Rain" album.
I wouldn't say I was a huge huge fan, but I still cried after hearing on the radio that he'd passed away and then they played "Same Old Lang Syne" -- which makes me tear up usually anyway.
Acoustic guitar, often meaningful & poignant lyrics... I'm sad.
I wouldn't say I was a huge huge fan, but I still cried after hearing on the radio that he'd passed away and then they played "Same Old Lang Syne" -- which makes me tear up usually anyway.
Acoustic guitar, often meaningful & poignant lyrics... I'm sad.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Not Feeling Creative
I don't have anything I feel compelled to say...
Am taking tomorrow sort of off -- but have to run errands for work - mail, mostly... and finish up some thank you letter's. I plan to go to the office to wrap himself's presents... actually have a Gi-normous list of things to do tomorrow... did deliver the Table Saw (main prezzie for himself) tonight -- he's gonna have 3 days before Christmas with which to play with it, so it doesn't make sense to wait until Christmas day to give it to him. My big present is a new car stereo -- YAY!! The CD player in my car is very tempermental. It will take the CD but not play. Or eject. The radio doesn't get to play either... so I'm getting one that has an ipod doo-hickey, and something I can hook my mini-disc up to, too... So I'm excited.
Himself got the shelves up in my room, and I want to get that organized... I love finding homes for my beloved craft goodies.
Had celebratory lunch with office co-workers at Great Wall of China -- pretty good - yummy potstickers and crabpuffs. I love crabpuffs. I found fun socks, (I love fun footwear), Lindor chocolate (Love Lindor chocolate - Milk Chocolate please), large silver initial ornaments, pretty gift boxes, and my ornaments -- everyone got the same thing, slightly different versions. They seemed to like it.
I'm feeling really behind -- so many things I was going to do differently this Christmas, like craft all year long -- ha! Moving wasn't part of the plan, so that threw a wrench in it. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
Not sure what family will be here, I'm supposed to be checking out hotel availability & prices, but haven't -- work has been so busy and I've been really pooped... staying up late but not accomplishing much. Typical.
The TGC Winter Concert was really excellent. We almost sold out! We leave the year with $10,000 in the bank, so things are looking up compared to this time last year, I'm told. I'm so pleased. I love my job, love the folks I work with, and love what the organization is all about.
Not sure what I'm going to do yet to keep myself singing, though. Very torn, divided and on the fence about it. Going to Scottsdale twice a month would give me the opportunity to see mom more often -- and my frustrations would be less in some respects. Staying and singing with what I call 'my' chorus at this time is an opportunity that only comes like every 30 years... when we have the chance to actually win this region's contest, and I like the thought of being a part of that. And I can't afford to go to Hawaii this year for International.
And I thought I had nothing to write about!
Am taking tomorrow sort of off -- but have to run errands for work - mail, mostly... and finish up some thank you letter's. I plan to go to the office to wrap himself's presents... actually have a Gi-normous list of things to do tomorrow... did deliver the Table Saw (main prezzie for himself) tonight -- he's gonna have 3 days before Christmas with which to play with it, so it doesn't make sense to wait until Christmas day to give it to him. My big present is a new car stereo -- YAY!! The CD player in my car is very tempermental. It will take the CD but not play. Or eject. The radio doesn't get to play either... so I'm getting one that has an ipod doo-hickey, and something I can hook my mini-disc up to, too... So I'm excited.
Himself got the shelves up in my room, and I want to get that organized... I love finding homes for my beloved craft goodies.
Had celebratory lunch with office co-workers at Great Wall of China -- pretty good - yummy potstickers and crabpuffs. I love crabpuffs. I found fun socks, (I love fun footwear), Lindor chocolate (Love Lindor chocolate - Milk Chocolate please), large silver initial ornaments, pretty gift boxes, and my ornaments -- everyone got the same thing, slightly different versions. They seemed to like it.
I'm feeling really behind -- so many things I was going to do differently this Christmas, like craft all year long -- ha! Moving wasn't part of the plan, so that threw a wrench in it. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
Not sure what family will be here, I'm supposed to be checking out hotel availability & prices, but haven't -- work has been so busy and I've been really pooped... staying up late but not accomplishing much. Typical.
The TGC Winter Concert was really excellent. We almost sold out! We leave the year with $10,000 in the bank, so things are looking up compared to this time last year, I'm told. I'm so pleased. I love my job, love the folks I work with, and love what the organization is all about.
Not sure what I'm going to do yet to keep myself singing, though. Very torn, divided and on the fence about it. Going to Scottsdale twice a month would give me the opportunity to see mom more often -- and my frustrations would be less in some respects. Staying and singing with what I call 'my' chorus at this time is an opportunity that only comes like every 30 years... when we have the chance to actually win this region's contest, and I like the thought of being a part of that. And I can't afford to go to Hawaii this year for International.
And I thought I had nothing to write about!
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Just for Coffee Gal ;-)
It's not a lot but:
I've been sick with a cold/sinus thing since my Root Canal Dec 14th
I have another Dentist appointment tomorrow to get at least 2 (maybe more) cavities done.
I have a Dentist appointment *next* Thursday for Root Canal & Crown #2
The permanent crown I had put on last week is wonderful -- that temporary crown really sucked.
I just pulled a literal all-nighter putting together the TGC Winter Concert Program in order to get it to the printer for them to be able to start printing this morning. Yes -- I left the TGC office this morning at 4:45 am -- heard Mrs. Grant & Bobby Rich at 94.9 MixFM start the morning show at 5:08 am with a review of the Impossible Question ~ which, by the way, was answered by my friend Gail, who sings fabulous bass with Tucson Desert Harmony Chorus & "Havin' A Blast" quartet. So cool! [The question was - 2 or 3 new ones of these are created every day, and there are tens of thousands around the world - what is it? Answer: Religions. Kinda scary...]
My card reader isn't working, so I can't get pictures off my camera. Hate when that happens.
Had a craft class last Saturday - spent 2 nights prepping with my friend T, who punched 240 circles and scored 240 triangles within the circles while I finished up the Perpetual Calendar project, which was suppose to be a 4 month on-going project and turned into 6 months. ack.
The class was one of the hardest they've done -- a simple project that is not easy... making a Christmas ornament from the circles -- and if I could get the pictures off my camera I'd post some!
The Saturday before that I sang at the Fellowship Square Villa 2 Tree Decorating Party ~ led a sing-a-long which was way fun... always is!
This Saturday is the TGC Concert, so I'm up to my ears at work....
We've moved -- and I'll post the drama later. We've painted two of the 3 walls that will be painted in the kitchen - a 'lemon fluff neon-in-the-wrong-light yellow' -- and hopefully himself will do what needs to be done to get the fridge moved to the new location, which will allow us to purchase a pantry type storage, paint the 3rd wall, and then allow me to really get the kitchen put together and get the massive boxes that are sitting on the dining table cleared.
I have 3 fabulous shelves in the craft room.... need about a dozen more, but I actually worked in the room for the craft class and just need to tweek some craft homes for my supplies.
In the meantime, I'm not sure when I'm going to get our tree up -- our front door and front closet (which holds the Christmas stuff) are blocked by dining room chairs, there are still boxes in the middle of the living room and nothing really put away yet... so I don't want to decorate it now, which is making me a little sad... last year my Christmas stuff didn't come down until March. All I'm saying is if I don't get it up sooner than later we might run into the same issues....
I'm re-committing to eating healthier ~ went online and looked for natural remedies and holistic approaches to sinus infections ~ and did you know that often times (according to Chinese Medicine) sinus issues are related to constipation (another area of the body that is blocked) and Candida - abundance of yeast... directly related to too much sugar. So I went out and bought Soy Milk, Stevia and ginger -- made some ginger, lemon & honey tea, am taking garlic pills, cutting down on the fruit juices and diluting with water, and while having a whole night of non-sleep hasn't made me feel better today, at least I'm breathing out of both nostrils most of the time now.
Also saw a lot of Craft logs/blogs/forums this weekend and I'm now in crafty mode and want to pursue doing that more than anything else.... could be connected to this time of year, I suppose.
Well... do have to go to work for a little while today -- much to do!
I've been sick with a cold/sinus thing since my Root Canal Dec 14th
I have another Dentist appointment tomorrow to get at least 2 (maybe more) cavities done.
I have a Dentist appointment *next* Thursday for Root Canal & Crown #2
The permanent crown I had put on last week is wonderful -- that temporary crown really sucked.
I just pulled a literal all-nighter putting together the TGC Winter Concert Program in order to get it to the printer for them to be able to start printing this morning. Yes -- I left the TGC office this morning at 4:45 am -- heard Mrs. Grant & Bobby Rich at 94.9 MixFM start the morning show at 5:08 am with a review of the Impossible Question ~ which, by the way, was answered by my friend Gail, who sings fabulous bass with Tucson Desert Harmony Chorus & "Havin' A Blast" quartet. So cool! [The question was - 2 or 3 new ones of these are created every day, and there are tens of thousands around the world - what is it? Answer: Religions. Kinda scary...]
My card reader isn't working, so I can't get pictures off my camera. Hate when that happens.
Had a craft class last Saturday - spent 2 nights prepping with my friend T, who punched 240 circles and scored 240 triangles within the circles while I finished up the Perpetual Calendar project, which was suppose to be a 4 month on-going project and turned into 6 months. ack.
The class was one of the hardest they've done -- a simple project that is not easy... making a Christmas ornament from the circles -- and if I could get the pictures off my camera I'd post some!
The Saturday before that I sang at the Fellowship Square Villa 2 Tree Decorating Party ~ led a sing-a-long which was way fun... always is!
This Saturday is the TGC Concert, so I'm up to my ears at work....
We've moved -- and I'll post the drama later. We've painted two of the 3 walls that will be painted in the kitchen - a 'lemon fluff neon-in-the-wrong-light yellow' -- and hopefully himself will do what needs to be done to get the fridge moved to the new location, which will allow us to purchase a pantry type storage, paint the 3rd wall, and then allow me to really get the kitchen put together and get the massive boxes that are sitting on the dining table cleared.
I have 3 fabulous shelves in the craft room.... need about a dozen more, but I actually worked in the room for the craft class and just need to tweek some craft homes for my supplies.
In the meantime, I'm not sure when I'm going to get our tree up -- our front door and front closet (which holds the Christmas stuff) are blocked by dining room chairs, there are still boxes in the middle of the living room and nothing really put away yet... so I don't want to decorate it now, which is making me a little sad... last year my Christmas stuff didn't come down until March. All I'm saying is if I don't get it up sooner than later we might run into the same issues....
I'm re-committing to eating healthier ~ went online and looked for natural remedies and holistic approaches to sinus infections ~ and did you know that often times (according to Chinese Medicine) sinus issues are related to constipation (another area of the body that is blocked) and Candida - abundance of yeast... directly related to too much sugar. So I went out and bought Soy Milk, Stevia and ginger -- made some ginger, lemon & honey tea, am taking garlic pills, cutting down on the fruit juices and diluting with water, and while having a whole night of non-sleep hasn't made me feel better today, at least I'm breathing out of both nostrils most of the time now.
Also saw a lot of Craft logs/blogs/forums this weekend and I'm now in crafty mode and want to pursue doing that more than anything else.... could be connected to this time of year, I suppose.
Well... do have to go to work for a little while today -- much to do!
Thursday, November 29, 2007
5:10 am - Why Am I Up?
Because yesterday himself told my mom he was never going to speak to her (or her husband) again, and L is never ever welcome in his(our) house, and mom only when himself isn't around.
Great.
Great.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
* Surprise!!! *
The people that came to my 40th surprise party... some I've not seen in two years, some in a few months, and some I've not seen OR talked to in over 13 years (since after college)!!!
It was so cool to walk into the room and see my best friend, roomie and Quilters castmate J (from Texas) ~ and another excellent friend, college roomie and Quilters castmate, S (from Idaho), along with another Quilters castmate and excellent friend (from Mesa... not as impressive but I've still not seen her in two years...), R. Plus relatives I've not seen in Eons... it was way fun!!
Thanks mom and himself... who rocks, because *I got an ipod* for my birthday... yay me!!! Can't wait to start loading it up!!!! :D :D
Happy Thanksgiving, and I hope everyone has had a blessed few days with loved ones.
And Rascal was an outstanding dog up here at mom and step-dad's. Just outstanding. We're so proud ;-).
It was so cool to walk into the room and see my best friend, roomie and Quilters castmate J (from Texas) ~ and another excellent friend, college roomie and Quilters castmate, S (from Idaho), along with another Quilters castmate and excellent friend (from Mesa... not as impressive but I've still not seen her in two years...), R. Plus relatives I've not seen in Eons... it was way fun!!
Thanks mom and himself... who rocks, because *I got an ipod* for my birthday... yay me!!! Can't wait to start loading it up!!!! :D :D
Happy Thanksgiving, and I hope everyone has had a blessed few days with loved ones.
And Rascal was an outstanding dog up here at mom and step-dad's. Just outstanding. We're so proud ;-).
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
New Doors
<--- Before: Big Gaping Hole in the back of our new house... but isn't it a nice, neat hole?
<- After: oooooohhhh.... ahhhh..... it's a beauty, eh?
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Better....
Monday night I was feeling really awful... Tuesday morning I just felt sort of rotten.
On Monday himself said I shouldn't go into work, but stay home and continue on the road to recovery. I have to admit the thought of it sounded good, but I went in for a few hours to put some things in order.
My house still needs to be put in order... figure out where the dishes should go in the kitchen... how to arrange my craft room... not to mention how to get the bathroom stuff figured out... how do we get so much stuff that is supposed to be in the bathroom? Good Grief. Baskets and baskets.... powder, lotion, sunblock, scrubbies, pumice stones, combs & brushes, hair gel, makeup, the girly stuff, himself's low-maintenance but still taking up valuable space shaving kit (not that he shaves, he's got a full beard) full of beard trimming stuff. The bathrooms have no towel racks, so I have over the door hooks for the towels, but they're woefully short on any kind of storage space.
My tooth is still tender, and I'm not feeling great, but at least I can breathe through my nose at night, therefore not waking up as if someone exchanged sandpaper for the insides of my throat.
I'll be driving up to my mom's and step-dad's for Thanksgiving today - himself will drive up with Rascal tomorrow. There's been a lot of drama between Rascal, my mom, my mom coming down to help me clean and paint and prepare the new house to move into after himself and dad worked for a week putting the door in, and step-dad L. Add to this my mom's sadness and emotions regarding me (and himself) not being in a position to buy her house. Maybe we are missing out, but the bottom line is that with L in the picture, there wouldn't be any peace. Mom wouldn't make us pay back the "Gift" of $50,000 equity that she and L proposed to help us get a loan for the other house... but L would be there pushing and commenting and questioning... and it would be miserable.
At least it will only be 7 or 8 for Thanksgiving... *whew*
oh yeah. And I turn 40 (only 4 more shopping days, 'cuz the internet will still be open *wink wink*) on Sunday. But that is another post.
I'm so thankful for so many things ~ himself, my mom, my dad, my family and good friends, my health, the abundance of blessings that we have. My thoughts go to so many good things, and I just thank God for all of us and all of it.
On Monday himself said I shouldn't go into work, but stay home and continue on the road to recovery. I have to admit the thought of it sounded good, but I went in for a few hours to put some things in order.
My house still needs to be put in order... figure out where the dishes should go in the kitchen... how to arrange my craft room... not to mention how to get the bathroom stuff figured out... how do we get so much stuff that is supposed to be in the bathroom? Good Grief. Baskets and baskets.... powder, lotion, sunblock, scrubbies, pumice stones, combs & brushes, hair gel, makeup, the girly stuff, himself's low-maintenance but still taking up valuable space shaving kit (not that he shaves, he's got a full beard) full of beard trimming stuff. The bathrooms have no towel racks, so I have over the door hooks for the towels, but they're woefully short on any kind of storage space.
My tooth is still tender, and I'm not feeling great, but at least I can breathe through my nose at night, therefore not waking up as if someone exchanged sandpaper for the insides of my throat.
I'll be driving up to my mom's and step-dad's for Thanksgiving today - himself will drive up with Rascal tomorrow. There's been a lot of drama between Rascal, my mom, my mom coming down to help me clean and paint and prepare the new house to move into after himself and dad worked for a week putting the door in, and step-dad L. Add to this my mom's sadness and emotions regarding me (and himself) not being in a position to buy her house. Maybe we are missing out, but the bottom line is that with L in the picture, there wouldn't be any peace. Mom wouldn't make us pay back the "Gift" of $50,000 equity that she and L proposed to help us get a loan for the other house... but L would be there pushing and commenting and questioning... and it would be miserable.
At least it will only be 7 or 8 for Thanksgiving... *whew*
oh yeah. And I turn 40 (only 4 more shopping days, 'cuz the internet will still be open *wink wink*) on Sunday. But that is another post.
I'm so thankful for so many things ~ himself, my mom, my dad, my family and good friends, my health, the abundance of blessings that we have. My thoughts go to so many good things, and I just thank God for all of us and all of it.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Moving... Root Canal... Doggie Drama.... Sick with a Cold
That about sums up my week.
*sigh*
Never had family drama with Thanksgiving before, don't recommend it.
Mom's here to help - yay!
Here comes the year of the dentist. joy oh joy.
*sigh*
Never had family drama with Thanksgiving before, don't recommend it.
Mom's here to help - yay!
Here comes the year of the dentist. joy oh joy.
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Thursday Thirteen - Favorite TV Theme songs
Since I haven't done a Thursday Thirteen in I don't know how long, I figured no one would care that it is Sunday morning.
Blatantly Copied from Chelle
Blatantly Copied from Chelle
Thirteen Favorite TV Theme Songs (in no particular order):
The Adams Family
The Love Boat
The Courtship Of Eddie's Father
I Dream Of Jeannie // Family Affair (these two always end up sounding like the same thing when I hum them...)
One Day At A Time
The Facts Of Life
M*A*S*H*
Mork & Mindy
The Office
Friends
The Mary Tyler Moore Show
King of the Hill
Cheers
Bonus:
The Rockford Files
Welcome Back Kotter
Batman
Jeopardy
Mission Impossible
All In The Family
Green Acres
Hogan's Heroes
you can go here to listen to some of the above...
All In The Family
Green Acres
Hogan's Heroes
you can go here to listen to some of the above...
Thursday Thirteen
Wow... it's been so long!
Thirteen Places I have been (I really need to read some other Thirteens to get inspired...)
1. Scotland. well duh.
2. England. again, duh.
3. Ireland. The Republic of, not Northern.
4. Mexico - Nogales & Rocky Point
5. Turkey
6. Malta
7. New York City
8. Key West
9. Boston
10. Crescent City, Oregon
11. Oklahoma City
12. Houston
13. Chicago - the airport
Liked how I tried to get the extremes of the continental usa?
Thirteen Places I have been (I really need to read some other Thirteens to get inspired...)
1. Scotland. well duh.
2. England. again, duh.
3. Ireland. The Republic of, not Northern.
4. Mexico - Nogales & Rocky Point
5. Turkey
6. Malta
7. New York City
8. Key West
9. Boston
10. Crescent City, Oregon
11. Oklahoma City
12. Houston
13. Chicago - the airport
Liked how I tried to get the extremes of the continental usa?
Monday, November 05, 2007
Monday Monday
I didn't have to work today. Today was one of the first Monday's I really and truly took *off*! Of course, I did go in for 3 hours on Saturday and 3 hours on Sunday. But the quality of 6 hours on the weekend versus the Monday hectic chaos is so different ;-).
My dad is here from Oklahoma - helping himself with the house. I'll post pictures of the window/wall they demo'd - and the beauteous french doors that are now installed. Dad came over today by himself to varnish/seal the back fence, paint the iron screen, and do some work on the bit of wall that will be the new home for the fridge in the kitchen.
Himself hooked up the 'net at the new house, so I've been able to pay my car loan, and look up the closits system I want to put at the end of the craft room. It isn't as cheap as I was hoping, but it is under $1,000... and it gives me a chance to catch up on blogging.
Rascal is sooo much better. He's still skittish around dad, but after a bark or two is calm and overall so much happier when people come into the house. New friend Coffeegal came over the other day and Rascal woofed and did his thing, but then was quiet and calm, and it is just such a change!! Walking in the morning has been a change too -- now that he has some guidelines and parameters.
Dogs 101 is the guy we used, Al Rossomando is the trainer/owner and he was terrific. I highly reccommend him!!
Things have been so busy... Had my work evaluation on Thursday... and no surprises there, which is exactly how you want that kind of thing to go. It only took them 3 months to realize that I am time-management challenged and have a confidence problem. The confidence isn't all the time, nor is it in all things. But there are so many new challenges with the TGC that I want to be sure I'm on the right track with decisions I make. Because, I will make the simplest task as complicated as humanly possible. Which will slow things down. And it will keep things disorganized because who can bother finding the folder in the file in the cabinet in the red section that is for the Ladybugs A to M?
One of the rules of simplicity is - duh - being simple. Keeping categories of organization to a minimum. You know what 2 by 4 hit me with that knowledge today? The Ikea website. Yep. As I'm surfing for cheaper craft organization ideas, I know that Ikea is the super-est place to go for that... and some little cartoon doo-ma-bob plays and now I will remember that in order to keep things simple one must keep it simple. It sounds so redundant when I say it like that.
The reason I'm even blogging about this issue is because I spent 2 hours this morning being overwhelmed by organizing my rubber stamps. And, for those that know, over half of my craft goodies are in Scotland... so I don't even HAVE all my stamps and inks and paper and books and and and.... *sigh* Anyhoo ~ Between Scrapping and Stamping there are lots of categories... do I want to have "flowers" or "Garden & Floral" ? Do Butterflies have their own category or do they belong in "Garden & Floral"? When I want to see what Butterfly stamps I have, will I look under "B" for Butterfly or "Garden & Floral?" See what I mean?
[side note: I'm using himself's laptop at the new house, because the other house has been disconnected... and it is a British Laptop, and the @ key is where the " (quotes) are on the US keyboard. It's driving me a little nuts. AND the ~ ~ sign, which I prefer over the regular 'ol dash- isn't anywhere close to where it lives on the American keyboard. So I keep typing I@m instead of I'm and it is getting a little frustrating. Know my pain. Thanks for reading]
Do I want Autumn to include Halloween and Thanksgiving, or do I want a separate category for each holiday? And really, since no banks are closed on Halloween, is it really a Holiday? Will I remember that the two stamps I have with the 'little old ladies' (2 ladies on one, 3 ladies on the other) are filed under "Little Old Ladies"? Does it matter? It isn't likely that I'll buy duplicates of the little old lady stamps... which is why the whole organization thing is key, so you don't buy doubles. I have 'sets' and 'backgrounds' and 'swirls & flourishes' -- and if I don't do all the stamps at one time I forget what category I decided the Single Stroke paint stamp goes in... borders? backgrounds? Can you see why sometimes I struggle with keeping things simple?
So, instead of figuring out what card the craft class will do in two weeks... I messed around with trying to organize stamps. And I did very little. I'm not happy with what I have done, and want to start again.. but Hello! Isn't that defeating the purpose of getting organized in the first place? I think so. argh. And also... we're moving. If you come into my house, you'd never know we were moving... *sigh* I'm sure himself is more than frustrated at some of the lack of moving that isn't really happening.
So ~~ in other fun news... coffeegal and sang at Splendido at Rancho Vistoso on Friday at their "First Friday" event... explained to me as a casual entertainment late afternoon event that the residents can come to before they go in to dinner. Coffeegal gives an entertaining description of the place on her blog. The smallest retirement apartment there is only 200 square feet smaller than my new house. There were probably a dozen people in the room, and coffeegal got to see me at my panicked worst... missing the turn on the way there because the road had one name for the street if you're going north, and another name for the street if you're going south... I had all the electrics plugged into the wall but not into my actual sound system so I exclaimed "there's no power!" -- then realize after trying new plugs etc... that the problem was me, the user, not the outlet. Then I panicked because the CD player wasn't working. Coffeegal was the voice of reason and calm and very sweetly said that the player was on "radio" and not "CD". Duh. I think she had a great time, lots of laughing going on there!!
The Activities Director was fabulous -- I'm sure she thought I was a loon, but that's okay.
Saturday was dad and himself at the house... finishing up the door/wall... some good conversation and bonding. Sunday was a late start but a nice breakfast at one of our favorite local breakfast/lunch places (which used to be the DMV and is where I went to get my driver's license), and then Sunday evening was a church singing thing, which started out as a favor and turned into a huge blessing for me. My feelings about my performance basically amounted to: it sounded perfect for God.
Tucson is such a small town -- or, the largest small town you'll ever live in. It is just amazing how people I know come back to me through other people or situations. Make sense of that! One of these gals is the friend who is the connection to the lady who organized the singing thing at this church Sunday night. This gal and I attend the same church. There are lots of things happening within the 'denomination' (I hesitate to use the term but it is the one people understand) that I've been raised in, and I've been feeling unsettled for a long long time. She is feeling unsettled too, probably for different reasons.
And isn't it ultimately between myself and God? And between her and God? But that, I'm afraid, is another post.
My dad is here from Oklahoma - helping himself with the house. I'll post pictures of the window/wall they demo'd - and the beauteous french doors that are now installed. Dad came over today by himself to varnish/seal the back fence, paint the iron screen, and do some work on the bit of wall that will be the new home for the fridge in the kitchen.
Himself hooked up the 'net at the new house, so I've been able to pay my car loan, and look up the closits system I want to put at the end of the craft room. It isn't as cheap as I was hoping, but it is under $1,000... and it gives me a chance to catch up on blogging.
Rascal is sooo much better. He's still skittish around dad, but after a bark or two is calm and overall so much happier when people come into the house. New friend Coffeegal came over the other day and Rascal woofed and did his thing, but then was quiet and calm, and it is just such a change!! Walking in the morning has been a change too -- now that he has some guidelines and parameters.
Dogs 101 is the guy we used, Al Rossomando is the trainer/owner and he was terrific. I highly reccommend him!!
Things have been so busy... Had my work evaluation on Thursday... and no surprises there, which is exactly how you want that kind of thing to go. It only took them 3 months to realize that I am time-management challenged and have a confidence problem. The confidence isn't all the time, nor is it in all things. But there are so many new challenges with the TGC that I want to be sure I'm on the right track with decisions I make. Because, I will make the simplest task as complicated as humanly possible. Which will slow things down. And it will keep things disorganized because who can bother finding the folder in the file in the cabinet in the red section that is for the Ladybugs A to M?
One of the rules of simplicity is - duh - being simple. Keeping categories of organization to a minimum. You know what 2 by 4 hit me with that knowledge today? The Ikea website. Yep. As I'm surfing for cheaper craft organization ideas, I know that Ikea is the super-est place to go for that... and some little cartoon doo-ma-bob plays and now I will remember that in order to keep things simple one must keep it simple. It sounds so redundant when I say it like that.
The reason I'm even blogging about this issue is because I spent 2 hours this morning being overwhelmed by organizing my rubber stamps. And, for those that know, over half of my craft goodies are in Scotland... so I don't even HAVE all my stamps and inks and paper and books and and and.... *sigh* Anyhoo ~ Between Scrapping and Stamping there are lots of categories... do I want to have "flowers" or "Garden & Floral" ? Do Butterflies have their own category or do they belong in "Garden & Floral"? When I want to see what Butterfly stamps I have, will I look under "B" for Butterfly or "Garden & Floral?" See what I mean?
[side note: I'm using himself's laptop at the new house, because the other house has been disconnected... and it is a British Laptop, and the @ key is where the " (quotes) are on the US keyboard. It's driving me a little nuts. AND the ~ ~ sign, which I prefer over the regular 'ol dash- isn't anywhere close to where it lives on the American keyboard. So I keep typing I@m instead of I'm and it is getting a little frustrating. Know my pain. Thanks for reading]
Do I want Autumn to include Halloween and Thanksgiving, or do I want a separate category for each holiday? And really, since no banks are closed on Halloween, is it really a Holiday? Will I remember that the two stamps I have with the 'little old ladies' (2 ladies on one, 3 ladies on the other) are filed under "Little Old Ladies"? Does it matter? It isn't likely that I'll buy duplicates of the little old lady stamps... which is why the whole organization thing is key, so you don't buy doubles. I have 'sets' and 'backgrounds' and 'swirls & flourishes' -- and if I don't do all the stamps at one time I forget what category I decided the Single Stroke paint stamp goes in... borders? backgrounds? Can you see why sometimes I struggle with keeping things simple?
So, instead of figuring out what card the craft class will do in two weeks... I messed around with trying to organize stamps. And I did very little. I'm not happy with what I have done, and want to start again.. but Hello! Isn't that defeating the purpose of getting organized in the first place? I think so. argh. And also... we're moving. If you come into my house, you'd never know we were moving... *sigh* I'm sure himself is more than frustrated at some of the lack of moving that isn't really happening.
So ~~ in other fun news... coffeegal and sang at Splendido at Rancho Vistoso on Friday at their "First Friday" event... explained to me as a casual entertainment late afternoon event that the residents can come to before they go in to dinner. Coffeegal gives an entertaining description of the place on her blog. The smallest retirement apartment there is only 200 square feet smaller than my new house. There were probably a dozen people in the room, and coffeegal got to see me at my panicked worst... missing the turn on the way there because the road had one name for the street if you're going north, and another name for the street if you're going south... I had all the electrics plugged into the wall but not into my actual sound system so I exclaimed "there's no power!" -- then realize after trying new plugs etc... that the problem was me, the user, not the outlet. Then I panicked because the CD player wasn't working. Coffeegal was the voice of reason and calm and very sweetly said that the player was on "radio" and not "CD". Duh. I think she had a great time, lots of laughing going on there!!
The Activities Director was fabulous -- I'm sure she thought I was a loon, but that's okay.
Saturday was dad and himself at the house... finishing up the door/wall... some good conversation and bonding. Sunday was a late start but a nice breakfast at one of our favorite local breakfast/lunch places (which used to be the DMV and is where I went to get my driver's license), and then Sunday evening was a church singing thing, which started out as a favor and turned into a huge blessing for me. My feelings about my performance basically amounted to: it sounded perfect for God.
Tucson is such a small town -- or, the largest small town you'll ever live in. It is just amazing how people I know come back to me through other people or situations. Make sense of that! One of these gals is the friend who is the connection to the lady who organized the singing thing at this church Sunday night. This gal and I attend the same church. There are lots of things happening within the 'denomination' (I hesitate to use the term but it is the one people understand) that I've been raised in, and I've been feeling unsettled for a long long time. She is feeling unsettled too, probably for different reasons.
And isn't it ultimately between myself and God? And between her and God? But that, I'm afraid, is another post.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
quick update...
There's so much going on and I want to write it all out and share... but man oh man it would take a long time...
So some high points
today, after singing with my new friend *waves at coffeegal*, I was on my way to help distribute polo shirts for the older two choruses for the TGC... and it was at Raytheon's open house - our contact guy had sent two flyers, the address had already been changed, the whole thing has been one headache after another (because of tight security all the no-no's on site....) and there's more, but no time for all that drama now... my point is -- the road into Raytheon from the road we were dictated to enter from was closed.
Yep. So I'm on the road directing/looking out for TGC parents bringing their girls to the performance giving them alternate directions to the place where they're to be singing.... And while it was a beautiful day - it was hot and sunny... I think that is why I might have a big headache right now (and I don't get many headaches..!)
Alls well -- it was just icing on the cake to the week with work that I've had -- which started last Friday.
On more fun notes:
WE ARE HOMEOWNERS.... (or as himself has says, "Don't call me a homeowner, you homeowner...!").
We got the keys Friday - ordered pizza and sat in our new backyard with Rascal, drinking warm diet 7-up... some photos...
So Rascal had a ball burying his first chew in the back yard... our pizza was delicious... and now the painful part -- actually moving.
My dad is supposed to be here this week to help himself, who is off for the week -- and oh the plans!!!
There's the latest news --
So some high points
today, after singing with my new friend *waves at coffeegal*, I was on my way to help distribute polo shirts for the older two choruses for the TGC... and it was at Raytheon's open house - our contact guy had sent two flyers, the address had already been changed, the whole thing has been one headache after another (because of tight security all the no-no's on site....) and there's more, but no time for all that drama now... my point is -- the road into Raytheon from the road we were dictated to enter from was closed.
Yep. So I'm on the road directing/looking out for TGC parents bringing their girls to the performance giving them alternate directions to the place where they're to be singing.... And while it was a beautiful day - it was hot and sunny... I think that is why I might have a big headache right now (and I don't get many headaches..!)
Alls well -- it was just icing on the cake to the week with work that I've had -- which started last Friday.
On more fun notes:
WE ARE HOMEOWNERS.... (or as himself has says, "Don't call me a homeowner, you homeowner...!").
We got the keys Friday - ordered pizza and sat in our new backyard with Rascal, drinking warm diet 7-up... some photos...
So Rascal had a ball burying his first chew in the back yard... our pizza was delicious... and now the painful part -- actually moving.My dad is supposed to be here this week to help himself, who is off for the week -- and oh the plans!!!
There's the latest news --
Friday, October 12, 2007
P.S.
The weather's GORGEOUS!! cool mornings... warm afternoons... just fabulous weather all the way around!!! (after all my summer griping I wanted to say I Love the Fall in Arizona!!)
Yeah... it's been awhile!
So ~ We're buying a house... this house, to be exact.
It is quite close to Park Place Mall... about 4 miles West of where we're living now, and about 400 square feet smaller. Yikes. 3 bedroom, 1 and 3/4 bath, HUGE yard...
Rascal will be thrilled. We're supposed to get the keys Oct 26th.
It's a long story how we got from renting mom's place to buying our own place, not a bad story... just don't have time for it now.
Life is busy - -haven't taken the time to post, but have thought a lot about posting!!
It is quite close to Park Place Mall... about 4 miles West of where we're living now, and about 400 square feet smaller. Yikes. 3 bedroom, 1 and 3/4 bath, HUGE yard...
Rascal will be thrilled. We're supposed to get the keys Oct 26th.It's a long story how we got from renting mom's place to buying our own place, not a bad story... just don't have time for it now.
Life is busy - -haven't taken the time to post, but have thought a lot about posting!!
Monday, September 03, 2007
Labor Day Monday
So ~ Saturday I spent scrapping from 12 noon to 10:30 pm. My pal who is the hostess is going through hell -- and does not deserve it (does anyone, really?). It was good she had us friends over, because we did make her laugh, and took her mind off, and allowed her to express the anger and hate she is feeling toward the soon-to-be-but-not-soon-enough-ex.
Sunday I made it to church and that was good. I always feel rotten when I leave, though. depressed. No one to hang out with afterwards, I suppose -- to go out to eat with or whatever. My friend T is out of town, cuz usually we go out afterwards... when we are both there, which is rare.
The sermon was on The Beatitudes in Matthew 5, specifically Mercy -
"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." I couldn't help but think about Jeff Walling and his incredible, moving and memorable talk on the same passage at Pepperdine in May. Is that fair? Different speakers with probably different focuses on what each was trying to communicate to very different audiences, yet I can't help but compare the presentation of the message. It brought home to me that I need to do something more than just show up.
On my way home I stopped at the craft store because, you know, they had the 50% off any regular priced item... so I dropped $90.00 on regular priced items (sigh) -- there goes the house help!! At least for a little while longer. I'm excited about a couple new stamps I got, a book on organizing your craft space (very much needed for me!!), and a new sizzix die ~ a puzzle pattern. One day I'm going to do a whole scrapbook on puzzle pieces, and something about how I'm becoming me -- the theme for the "All About Me" scrapbook -- *ha ha* as if all of them aren't already all about me.... *rolling the eyes*
Then himself and I went to Denny's for breakfast around 2:30 pm - I love that. I was in the mood for pancakes and my uncle, who knows himself's penchant for Denny's, brought up a coupon a couple weeks ago. [ which reminds me I bought the new Entertainment Book '08, so have to remember to use it!! ] We wandered around a different Big Lots! -- a different location than our usual store, and I found some scrapbook stuff at the nearby dollar store ~ so it was a nice afternoon.
Today I meant to clear off my craft table and get some organization done -- but no - I've just spent the last ... uh... like 6 hours watching barbershop uploads on YouTube. Ack.
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=hav2sing
I only signed up with an account on the site yesterday ~ but you can see what videos I saved... a little insight into the obsession some call a hobby of barbershop singing.
Here is a great speech, written and on video, on the subject of singing barbershop, and how it isn't just a hobby, it is an addiction that needs to be fed. The speech is long, it is funny, it is heartfelt, and it can be about life, not just about barbershop singing. Music is something that is universal -- and I feel today the way I felt in May at Pepperdine Lectures ~ about how much I need to be singing. Sharing the music in me with others. As Jim Henry Says, "We're only given a limited number of notes to sing -- and we need to not squander our notes, but sing every one with care." That isn't quite verbatim, but it's pretty close to what he says in his speech.
I'm feeling inspired. To sing (or live) with the fullest measure. The fullest measure of everything that is good and positive.
[funny how two weeks of every month I'm doom and gloom, and two weeks I'm pollyanna....]
So -- things are better than they were a month ago... although I'm still a lot more fearful than I used to be. About everything. Which makes me angry. But I believe everything happens for a reason and so I'm going to choose to be thankful regarding my circumstances. :D
Sunday I made it to church and that was good. I always feel rotten when I leave, though. depressed. No one to hang out with afterwards, I suppose -- to go out to eat with or whatever. My friend T is out of town, cuz usually we go out afterwards... when we are both there, which is rare.
The sermon was on The Beatitudes in Matthew 5, specifically Mercy -
"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." I couldn't help but think about Jeff Walling and his incredible, moving and memorable talk on the same passage at Pepperdine in May. Is that fair? Different speakers with probably different focuses on what each was trying to communicate to very different audiences, yet I can't help but compare the presentation of the message. It brought home to me that I need to do something more than just show up.
On my way home I stopped at the craft store because, you know, they had the 50% off any regular priced item... so I dropped $90.00 on regular priced items (sigh) -- there goes the house help!! At least for a little while longer. I'm excited about a couple new stamps I got, a book on organizing your craft space (very much needed for me!!), and a new sizzix die ~ a puzzle pattern. One day I'm going to do a whole scrapbook on puzzle pieces, and something about how I'm becoming me -- the theme for the "All About Me" scrapbook -- *ha ha* as if all of them aren't already all about me.... *rolling the eyes*
Then himself and I went to Denny's for breakfast around 2:30 pm - I love that. I was in the mood for pancakes and my uncle, who knows himself's penchant for Denny's, brought up a coupon a couple weeks ago. [ which reminds me I bought the new Entertainment Book '08, so have to remember to use it!! ] We wandered around a different Big Lots! -- a different location than our usual store, and I found some scrapbook stuff at the nearby dollar store ~ so it was a nice afternoon.
Today I meant to clear off my craft table and get some organization done -- but no - I've just spent the last ... uh... like 6 hours watching barbershop uploads on YouTube. Ack.
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=hav2sing
I only signed up with an account on the site yesterday ~ but you can see what videos I saved... a little insight into the obsession some call a hobby of barbershop singing.
Here is a great speech, written and on video, on the subject of singing barbershop, and how it isn't just a hobby, it is an addiction that needs to be fed. The speech is long, it is funny, it is heartfelt, and it can be about life, not just about barbershop singing. Music is something that is universal -- and I feel today the way I felt in May at Pepperdine Lectures ~ about how much I need to be singing. Sharing the music in me with others. As Jim Henry Says, "We're only given a limited number of notes to sing -- and we need to not squander our notes, but sing every one with care." That isn't quite verbatim, but it's pretty close to what he says in his speech.
I'm feeling inspired. To sing (or live) with the fullest measure. The fullest measure of everything that is good and positive.
[funny how two weeks of every month I'm doom and gloom, and two weeks I'm pollyanna....]
So -- things are better than they were a month ago... although I'm still a lot more fearful than I used to be. About everything. Which makes me angry. But I believe everything happens for a reason and so I'm going to choose to be thankful regarding my circumstances. :D
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Dog Days of August
It is hot. hot. hot. hot. And I've been grumpy. Crabby. Whiney. Negative. and Tired.
Seriously nasty weather. The storms have been cool -- but out walking at 6:15 am this morning with himself and it was just humid, hot, and miserable. The gnats are everywhere. In the spa two nights ago I still couldn't escape the fat mosquito who bit my hand. Stupid mosquito.
So I've not written because I've been working lots -- and just coming home and couch potato-ing. I've not cooked, I've not done dishes. I did some laundry, and vacuumed floors and some light dusting (mom in town...).
As of September 1st I'll be full time salary at Tucson Girls Chorus (yay!) -- so I'll be paid for the hours I've been working. Not a huge amount of money, but it should help us get a mortgage.
We're looking slowly into mortgage options -- Quicken Loans I was not impressed with. They'll gouge ( as in "an act of extortion; swindle.") you in closing costs -- like over $5,000.00. Himself looked at that and said, "I think NOT!" So I've got some recommendations from friends and hopefully will have a chance to make a call or two before I go in to work today.
My quartet is doing really well. We're hoping to sing for the chorus next week and get this audition out of our hair - then we can start learning Christmas music :-) That will make me feel cooler, right?
Rascal is great -- such a love of a dog. He is squirmy/scary with strangers still... so am thinking in November we'll get him a private dog tutor (that's not the real word, but you get the idea -- someone to come to our house and work with us -- because you know it has little to do with the dog, this dog training thing!! ;-).
Going to be helping with the SAI Youth In Harmony day-long festival on September 8th -- 7:30 am to 7:00 pm!! Yikes! I believe in the cause, and I think it will be fun...
Planning to scrap this weekend -- and friends have invited us over for dinner on Sunday evening, maybe some poker. We both have Monday off (yay! Salary = paid vacation days for me... OH!! and I get the week between Christmas and New Year's off - paid - AND it doesn't come out of my 'vacation time' -- how cool is that?!?!!?!?!?) Monday will probably be slob around the house day. :D I may venture to the craft stores for sales with coupon in hand... but I really don't need a thing.
So -- with my first big paycheck:
I'm going to get a massage. I'm going to have a pedicure. I'm going to hire some kind of help with the house. All these thoughts make me smile.
'K - going back to sleep for awhile now.
Seriously nasty weather. The storms have been cool -- but out walking at 6:15 am this morning with himself and it was just humid, hot, and miserable. The gnats are everywhere. In the spa two nights ago I still couldn't escape the fat mosquito who bit my hand. Stupid mosquito.
So I've not written because I've been working lots -- and just coming home and couch potato-ing. I've not cooked, I've not done dishes. I did some laundry, and vacuumed floors and some light dusting (mom in town...).
As of September 1st I'll be full time salary at Tucson Girls Chorus (yay!) -- so I'll be paid for the hours I've been working. Not a huge amount of money, but it should help us get a mortgage.
We're looking slowly into mortgage options -- Quicken Loans I was not impressed with. They'll gouge ( as in "an act of extortion; swindle.") you in closing costs -- like over $5,000.00. Himself looked at that and said, "I think NOT!" So I've got some recommendations from friends and hopefully will have a chance to make a call or two before I go in to work today.
My quartet is doing really well. We're hoping to sing for the chorus next week and get this audition out of our hair - then we can start learning Christmas music :-) That will make me feel cooler, right?
Rascal is great -- such a love of a dog. He is squirmy/scary with strangers still... so am thinking in November we'll get him a private dog tutor (that's not the real word, but you get the idea -- someone to come to our house and work with us -- because you know it has little to do with the dog, this dog training thing!! ;-).
Going to be helping with the SAI Youth In Harmony day-long festival on September 8th -- 7:30 am to 7:00 pm!! Yikes! I believe in the cause, and I think it will be fun...
Planning to scrap this weekend -- and friends have invited us over for dinner on Sunday evening, maybe some poker. We both have Monday off (yay! Salary = paid vacation days for me... OH!! and I get the week between Christmas and New Year's off - paid - AND it doesn't come out of my 'vacation time' -- how cool is that?!?!!?!?!?) Monday will probably be slob around the house day. :D I may venture to the craft stores for sales with coupon in hand... but I really don't need a thing.
So -- with my first big paycheck:
I'm going to get a massage. I'm going to have a pedicure. I'm going to hire some kind of help with the house. All these thoughts make me smile.
'K - going back to sleep for awhile now.
Saturday, August 04, 2007
I've Been Tagged -- 8 Random Things
Friend & Fellow Blogger Vonnie has tagged me...
1. Christian Conrad (Robert Conrad's son) sat behind me in Convocation on Monday mornings at Pepperdine.
2. Kim Fields was at Pepperdine the same time I was (I remember her best as Tootie on "The Facts of Life" but she was in other stuff too...)
3. I can't stand tomatoes but like tomato products (italian sauce, pizza sauce, ketchup...)
4. I'm allergic to cats, trees, weeds, grass, mold & fungus in old houses.
5. The longest I've stayed in a job is almost 3 years.
6. I cry a lot -- it is my best form of release.
7. I had the soundtrack of the musical "Oklahoma!" memorized probably before I started school.
8. I took tap lessons, baton twirling lessons & cake decorating lessons when I was in grade school.
Okay -- since I don't know that all people who read my blog have their own... if you don't, please leave your 8 random things in comments. I tag: Ell, Sad Tomato, Ann(ie), and Amy
Thank you for playing!
1. Christian Conrad (Robert Conrad's son) sat behind me in Convocation on Monday mornings at Pepperdine.
2. Kim Fields was at Pepperdine the same time I was (I remember her best as Tootie on "The Facts of Life" but she was in other stuff too...)
3. I can't stand tomatoes but like tomato products (italian sauce, pizza sauce, ketchup...)
4. I'm allergic to cats, trees, weeds, grass, mold & fungus in old houses.
5. The longest I've stayed in a job is almost 3 years.
6. I cry a lot -- it is my best form of release.
7. I had the soundtrack of the musical "Oklahoma!" memorized probably before I started school.
8. I took tap lessons, baton twirling lessons & cake decorating lessons when I was in grade school.
Okay -- since I don't know that all people who read my blog have their own... if you don't, please leave your 8 random things in comments. I tag: Ell, Sad Tomato, Ann(ie), and Amy
Thank you for playing!
Friday, August 03, 2007
I can still hear the car...
Going out this morning with Rascal and himself was a bit surreal. Very cool to have himself along -- he brought coffee & cigs with him -- and Rascal seemed quite happy to have the whole family along.
I did have a slight feeling of panic about 3/4 of the way through the walk - but I acknowledged it and it went away pretty quickly.
I did have a slight feeling of panic about 3/4 of the way through the walk - but I acknowledged it and it went away pretty quickly.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Serious Stuff
was today. Two men in a maroon older mustang stalked me in a car at 5:40 am this morning as I was out walking Rascal. No cell phone. No ID. No whistle or weapon. Just my wussy dog - who appeared fierce for a moment when he attacked 'Mean Kitty' two blocks from my house.
I'm not kidding. Every fiber of my being had warning bells going off...
I was walking Rascal - and the car came toward me, going really slow -- the young kid on the passenger side (mid-twenties I would guess, hispanic, red t-shirt) looked at me long and slow - I put my generic pleasant face on, feeling uneasy. When the car drove two houses past me and then t u r n e d a r o u n d I knew they weren't just coming home drunk. Now the driver (looked younger than the passenger, also hispanic, light t-shirt. Both had very short/shaven hair) takes his turn to look, and if possible the car is driving even slower. At that point Rascal attacks mean kitty - and barked and looked a bit like scary pit bull -- I have to slow down a bit and pull him away and I keep walking. The car oh-so-very-slowly drives past me and the whole time I'm thinking "Oh God... please... show me where to go - what I can do. Please God... Oh My God" and can't breathe. Thought my heart was going to come out of my chest. I couldn't catch my breath. All I kept thinking was "Please God. No. I'm not this stupid!!! the unaware woman who doesn't have any way to call for help." I'm feeling anger, but it is overwhelmed by the fear.
yeah. I don't judge anymore. Not now. Not again. And I didn't think I judged before... but how I was talking to myself at this point wasn't very nice, and wasn't reducing the panic or helping me find an escape.
I lose sight of the car and really start walking fast, because I instinctively know that they're coming back. This particular area in my neighborhood is hard to describe -- there is an island, so to speak, of houses, with a street that runs a triangle sort of circle around them, and has like 3 different street names, depending on which direction the street goes. Really easy to make a lap and come up behind me again. I cross the street of a cul-de-sac that is built in to this triangle/circle of houses, and walk past two more houses and there is a walking alley between houses. I walk quickly into this narrow alley, not a clue where it leads, just knowing a car can't follow me in there. [We have large open alleys behind houses in older neighborhoods where the garbage trucks used to go to pick up the garbage cans] I quickly realize that the alley doesn't lead out the way I was hoping, and have an instinct that I'm just supposed to hide and wait.
I run past 4 or 5 back yards, not sure if I can be seen from where I entered the alley. Now I'm even more panicked, more out of breath (if that is even possible), more scared out of my mind and thinking "I'm only two blocks from home. Oh God. Please No."
I kid you not, I hear the car circling this circle/triangle of houses. It is quiet at 5:40 in the morning. We've had lots of rain, and it is a gray morning and even the birds aren't making a lot of noise. If they'd been from this neighborhood or belonged anywhere on this street, they would have known a car could have come into the alley where I was. I prayed, "God. I'm going to stay here until I receive a SURE, UNMISTAKABLE sign from you that I am okay. That I will be safe. If I have to stay here for an hour or two or whatever. I'm not leaving until You say okay." I pull Rascal closer to me and scoot into a large open grassy corner (think gnats and bugs) where two back yard fences/walls meet. Meanwhile, Rascal is having a field day in the grass and goodies that are found in early morning alleys that are full of mud, rain and stuff generally found in desert alleys.
About 10 or 15 minutes later, the latch of the back yard gate directly across from me opens. A medium built skinny man, probably in his 50's, glasses, shoes, a watch and a short nightgown-ey thing comes out -- doesn't see me and turns to his right. I say "Thank You God." I approach slowly and say, "Excuse me sir...." and then start to cry. And gasp. And I'm shaking. I can't believe this is happening, and as I write this now, at 9:17 pm the same day... I still can't believe this kind of fear and this situation was one I found myself in. He says he needs to get his cat off the wall -- he walks over to check to see if the cat is there (hello - I've got a dog who loves to find cats... no cat around)
The man looks unafraid, and I'm babbling about "I'm sorry, I can't talk" - my name is - I was walking (point) over there, this car... stalking, following... can I come in and use your phone... I just live at the corner of This and That --- (point)... breathe. Gather my thoughts. Do you have a phone I could use? I don't need to come in. He says, "do you want to come through the yard to the front of the house and I'll get the phone." Thank you, I say. Rascal isn't barking... he's licking the guy's hand.
I try to call himself, afraid that he's in the shower, I think - he can just deal and come pick me up -- I'm only two freakin' blocks away. Oh no... he won't hear the phone -- he's in the shower. And sure enough... he didn't pick up. I ask the guy his name - he tells me, (I'll call him Clyde) I say - I'm really sorry... I've never been in a situation like this, I've never done this -- thank you so much. I look at the watch on his wrist, see that is is almost 6am and say -- I think I'm okay to go home... he says, "are you sure you're okay to get home?" and I tell him I think there are more people out at 6am than 5:30 and that I should be okay.
I walk home. Of course, on the way Rascal has to poop. Pick up the poop.
"Thank you God. Oh. My. God. Thank You." That's all that is going through my head.
I get inside our yard. In the house. Lock the door. Feed the dog. Then I collapse at the table and just sob - heaving. Such a release and a relief. I'm still in a state of shock and disbelief that I'm this scared.
I sit there for about 5 minutes or so, then head to the back of the house where himself is just finishing getting dressed and I just sort of barge into his chest and wail -- loud sobs. I manage to say "I'm okay. Nothing happened. Hang on...." and cry some more. Then I tell him what happened and he's angry, scared, helpless and concerned. We go outside so he can smoke (! duh !) and I can't stop crying for very long to be overly coherent.
I stop crying for a few minutes and then it all comes back and I start again. And I'm thanking God this whole entire time. I'm also asking "what is my lesson?" besides the obvious 'take your cell phone you naive woman!' How am I to use this? Thank You God. Asking Him what is the point I'm supposed to take away from this? I'm praying for the two men in the car. Though I must admit I didn't pray for them until hours later.
Now that I'm somewhat calmer I think about calling the police. Himself says if I'm this freaked out, then yes, I should call. I don't. Himself says from now on I keep to the main street. I don't disagree. I go take a shower. Himself says he's calling in to work to just stay with me until I'm safely off. (which touched me more than anything. that made me feel so much better) I head to the shower for today is check in day for the first day of camp for the chorus and I'm to be there at 7:30 am.
I'm in the shower thinking... this only happened an hour ago. An hour ago I was feeling stalked and terrorized and hiding in an alley praying that I wasn't going to be raped, beaten, taken in a car... who knows what trouble these men were cruising for. I cry in the shower.
As I'm getting ready for work, himself comes in and gives me a hug and says, "I'll be going with you on walks. I can use a walk in the mornings." This more than anything helps the anxiety of walking the dog tomorrow morning and the morning after that and after that... go away. More relief floods through me, and again I start to cry.
I leave for work after saying I'll call himself at home to let him know I get to work okay. I call around 9:50 am and he says my mom called and he let her in on the situation. About 5 minutes after we hang up she calls and I tell her -- and I cry some more. Adding details like why I didn't leave a message.... there is nothing I could say on a machine that would be helpful.."Honey, I'm at 5555 S. Main - you know, where that shortcut I take around the block in this neighborhood that you've only lived in for a year and don't know well at all... well that shortcut that you hate... well, I'm here with Clyde, a nice man in a nightshirt who've I just created a lasting memory for: of a large, red, tear-stained face and bed-head woman babbling about being stalked and her wussy dog. .. Please come pick me up."
I mean.
I half laugh on the phone in this part of the story. But it isn't funny. I'm deflecting. And I told himself this morning that the rule in our house now is if the wife is out of the house and phone rings and it is before 7am, he better really try to get to the phone.
Mom says I need to call the police. I go to work and naturally have to tell the story, (didn't tell the moms and daughters at camp checkin -- tried to act normal, and normal helped)... and they say call the police.
1pm and I'm drained. The adrenaline from the morning has wiped me out. I leave at 2:30. Call the closest police office non-emergency number and the very nice female officer advises me to call 911 and have an officer come out and make a report. I call 911 -- get transferred to another police office and the female officer chastised me for not calling from the guy's house when it happened. My phone lost the connection and I didn't call back.
But I had to put it here. What if I see the car again.
Had to get this out. Don't be unaware. Take a cell phone always. A whistle.
A friend.
I'm not kidding. Every fiber of my being had warning bells going off...
I was walking Rascal - and the car came toward me, going really slow -- the young kid on the passenger side (mid-twenties I would guess, hispanic, red t-shirt) looked at me long and slow - I put my generic pleasant face on, feeling uneasy. When the car drove two houses past me and then t u r n e d a r o u n d I knew they weren't just coming home drunk. Now the driver (looked younger than the passenger, also hispanic, light t-shirt. Both had very short/shaven hair) takes his turn to look, and if possible the car is driving even slower. At that point Rascal attacks mean kitty - and barked and looked a bit like scary pit bull -- I have to slow down a bit and pull him away and I keep walking. The car oh-so-very-slowly drives past me and the whole time I'm thinking "Oh God... please... show me where to go - what I can do. Please God... Oh My God" and can't breathe. Thought my heart was going to come out of my chest. I couldn't catch my breath. All I kept thinking was "Please God. No. I'm not this stupid!!! the unaware woman who doesn't have any way to call for help." I'm feeling anger, but it is overwhelmed by the fear.
yeah. I don't judge anymore. Not now. Not again. And I didn't think I judged before... but how I was talking to myself at this point wasn't very nice, and wasn't reducing the panic or helping me find an escape.
I lose sight of the car and really start walking fast, because I instinctively know that they're coming back. This particular area in my neighborhood is hard to describe -- there is an island, so to speak, of houses, with a street that runs a triangle sort of circle around them, and has like 3 different street names, depending on which direction the street goes. Really easy to make a lap and come up behind me again. I cross the street of a cul-de-sac that is built in to this triangle/circle of houses, and walk past two more houses and there is a walking alley between houses. I walk quickly into this narrow alley, not a clue where it leads, just knowing a car can't follow me in there. [We have large open alleys behind houses in older neighborhoods where the garbage trucks used to go to pick up the garbage cans] I quickly realize that the alley doesn't lead out the way I was hoping, and have an instinct that I'm just supposed to hide and wait.
I run past 4 or 5 back yards, not sure if I can be seen from where I entered the alley. Now I'm even more panicked, more out of breath (if that is even possible), more scared out of my mind and thinking "I'm only two blocks from home. Oh God. Please No."
I kid you not, I hear the car circling this circle/triangle of houses. It is quiet at 5:40 in the morning. We've had lots of rain, and it is a gray morning and even the birds aren't making a lot of noise. If they'd been from this neighborhood or belonged anywhere on this street, they would have known a car could have come into the alley where I was. I prayed, "God. I'm going to stay here until I receive a SURE, UNMISTAKABLE sign from you that I am okay. That I will be safe. If I have to stay here for an hour or two or whatever. I'm not leaving until You say okay." I pull Rascal closer to me and scoot into a large open grassy corner (think gnats and bugs) where two back yard fences/walls meet. Meanwhile, Rascal is having a field day in the grass and goodies that are found in early morning alleys that are full of mud, rain and stuff generally found in desert alleys.
About 10 or 15 minutes later, the latch of the back yard gate directly across from me opens. A medium built skinny man, probably in his 50's, glasses, shoes, a watch and a short nightgown-ey thing comes out -- doesn't see me and turns to his right. I say "Thank You God." I approach slowly and say, "Excuse me sir...." and then start to cry. And gasp. And I'm shaking. I can't believe this is happening, and as I write this now, at 9:17 pm the same day... I still can't believe this kind of fear and this situation was one I found myself in. He says he needs to get his cat off the wall -- he walks over to check to see if the cat is there (hello - I've got a dog who loves to find cats... no cat around)
The man looks unafraid, and I'm babbling about "I'm sorry, I can't talk" - my name is - I was walking (point) over there, this car... stalking, following... can I come in and use your phone... I just live at the corner of This and That --- (point)... breathe. Gather my thoughts. Do you have a phone I could use? I don't need to come in. He says, "do you want to come through the yard to the front of the house and I'll get the phone." Thank you, I say. Rascal isn't barking... he's licking the guy's hand.
I try to call himself, afraid that he's in the shower, I think - he can just deal and come pick me up -- I'm only two freakin' blocks away. Oh no... he won't hear the phone -- he's in the shower. And sure enough... he didn't pick up. I ask the guy his name - he tells me, (I'll call him Clyde) I say - I'm really sorry... I've never been in a situation like this, I've never done this -- thank you so much. I look at the watch on his wrist, see that is is almost 6am and say -- I think I'm okay to go home... he says, "are you sure you're okay to get home?" and I tell him I think there are more people out at 6am than 5:30 and that I should be okay.
I walk home. Of course, on the way Rascal has to poop. Pick up the poop.
"Thank you God. Oh. My. God. Thank You." That's all that is going through my head.
I get inside our yard. In the house. Lock the door. Feed the dog. Then I collapse at the table and just sob - heaving. Such a release and a relief. I'm still in a state of shock and disbelief that I'm this scared.
I sit there for about 5 minutes or so, then head to the back of the house where himself is just finishing getting dressed and I just sort of barge into his chest and wail -- loud sobs. I manage to say "I'm okay. Nothing happened. Hang on...." and cry some more. Then I tell him what happened and he's angry, scared, helpless and concerned. We go outside so he can smoke (! duh !) and I can't stop crying for very long to be overly coherent.
I stop crying for a few minutes and then it all comes back and I start again. And I'm thanking God this whole entire time. I'm also asking "what is my lesson?" besides the obvious 'take your cell phone you naive woman!' How am I to use this? Thank You God. Asking Him what is the point I'm supposed to take away from this? I'm praying for the two men in the car. Though I must admit I didn't pray for them until hours later.
Now that I'm somewhat calmer I think about calling the police. Himself says if I'm this freaked out, then yes, I should call. I don't. Himself says from now on I keep to the main street. I don't disagree. I go take a shower. Himself says he's calling in to work to just stay with me until I'm safely off. (which touched me more than anything. that made me feel so much better) I head to the shower for today is check in day for the first day of camp for the chorus and I'm to be there at 7:30 am.
I'm in the shower thinking... this only happened an hour ago. An hour ago I was feeling stalked and terrorized and hiding in an alley praying that I wasn't going to be raped, beaten, taken in a car... who knows what trouble these men were cruising for. I cry in the shower.
As I'm getting ready for work, himself comes in and gives me a hug and says, "I'll be going with you on walks. I can use a walk in the mornings." This more than anything helps the anxiety of walking the dog tomorrow morning and the morning after that and after that... go away. More relief floods through me, and again I start to cry.
I leave for work after saying I'll call himself at home to let him know I get to work okay. I call around 9:50 am and he says my mom called and he let her in on the situation. About 5 minutes after we hang up she calls and I tell her -- and I cry some more. Adding details like why I didn't leave a message.... there is nothing I could say on a machine that would be helpful.."Honey, I'm at 5555 S. Main - you know, where that shortcut I take around the block in this neighborhood that you've only lived in for a year and don't know well at all... well that shortcut that you hate... well, I'm here with Clyde, a nice man in a nightshirt who've I just created a lasting memory for: of a large, red, tear-stained face and bed-head woman babbling about being stalked and her wussy dog. .. Please come pick me up."
I mean.
I half laugh on the phone in this part of the story. But it isn't funny. I'm deflecting. And I told himself this morning that the rule in our house now is if the wife is out of the house and phone rings and it is before 7am, he better really try to get to the phone.
Mom says I need to call the police. I go to work and naturally have to tell the story, (didn't tell the moms and daughters at camp checkin -- tried to act normal, and normal helped)... and they say call the police.
1pm and I'm drained. The adrenaline from the morning has wiped me out. I leave at 2:30. Call the closest police office non-emergency number and the very nice female officer advises me to call 911 and have an officer come out and make a report. I call 911 -- get transferred to another police office and the female officer chastised me for not calling from the guy's house when it happened. My phone lost the connection and I didn't call back.
But I had to put it here. What if I see the car again.
Had to get this out. Don't be unaware. Take a cell phone always. A whistle.
A friend.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Independence Day
So himself walks in the kitchen and says 'isn't it great to be on holiday?!' -- and I said, "Yes, especially when it falls in the middle of your vacation..."
To which he asks, "what's the difference between holidays and vacation?"
Ah... separated by a common language looms its head again. And it isn't like he doesn't really know... he's been married to an American for 9 years...
So I reply, "Holidays are generally something that is celebrated nationally - 4th of July (Independence Day), Christmas, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Labor Day... and you can tell because Banks are closed. In the UK, there were arbitrary "Bank Holiday Monday's" - and I'm not complaining!! We don't have those, though."
And the brief discussion ensued, in which I agree... going on holiday sounds much more fun than going on vacation.
* * * * * * *
Himself then went out to smoke -- came back and stuck his head in the door a couple minutes later (it is 12:55pm) and says, "uh... hello.... just want to tell you that the patio area around the spa and stuff... it's too hot to walk on with your bare feet..."
To which I reply, "DUH! How long have you lived here?"
To which he starts shutting the door and says, "shut up shut up shut up...." in that little sing song way of his.....
It's supposed to be 111 today. At 5:30 am it was already 75. Even in my slip on sandals my feet get hot both on the bottom and on top too if exposed to direct sunlight!!
To which he asks, "what's the difference between holidays and vacation?"
Ah... separated by a common language looms its head again. And it isn't like he doesn't really know... he's been married to an American for 9 years...
So I reply, "Holidays are generally something that is celebrated nationally - 4th of July (Independence Day), Christmas, Thanksgiving, Memorial Day, Labor Day... and you can tell because Banks are closed. In the UK, there were arbitrary "Bank Holiday Monday's" - and I'm not complaining!! We don't have those, though."
And the brief discussion ensued, in which I agree... going on holiday sounds much more fun than going on vacation.
* * * * * * *
Himself then went out to smoke -- came back and stuck his head in the door a couple minutes later (it is 12:55pm) and says, "uh... hello.... just want to tell you that the patio area around the spa and stuff... it's too hot to walk on with your bare feet..."
To which I reply, "DUH! How long have you lived here?"
To which he starts shutting the door and says, "shut up shut up shut up...." in that little sing song way of his.....
It's supposed to be 111 today. At 5:30 am it was already 75. Even in my slip on sandals my feet get hot both on the bottom and on top too if exposed to direct sunlight!!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
So Is It Okay That I Married One?
| Never Date an Aquarius |
 Freaky, unconventional, and downright strange - it's likely that any Aquarius will weird you out. And if you do happen to fall for an Aquarius, you'll probably find them too emotionally distant to connect with. Instead try dating: Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn, or Virgo |
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Is it July Already?
Yikes! Only supposed to be 111 this weekend. *&%$#!!
I asked himself if I start making $35,000 can we get a pool -- after we successfully obtain a mortgage.... but enough moaning and complaining about the heat. I have a feeling it is going to be a terrific rainy season -- I don't know why I think that... but if I'm right -- cool!!
The other day I was thinking of movies that made significant impressions on me as a child -- so I thought I'd share them here... not all of them were age-appropriate, which is why they may have made an impression...
The Other Side of the Mountain - Beau Bridges & ___________. Story of an olympic skier (Jill ________ ) who had a horrible accident and it paralyzed her from the waist down. The sequel was horrible -- but the first movie is one of the first movies I remember...
Bless The Beasts and the Children -- horrid horrid feelings come back when I think of this movie. I can't remember the entire thing because I'm not sure that I've ever seen the entire thing. The theme song, sung by Karen Carpenter is excellent, though.
Buster and Billie -- Jan Michael Vincent & ____________ -- on www.imdb.com it says the bad guy ("Whitey", in the movie) went on to fame as Freddie in 'Nightmare on Elm Street' -- I happened upon this movie while we were visiting an aunt and her new husband & family in Redwood City -- I can remember the velvet black lounge chair and crying at the end -- I was much too young to be watching this movie -- I wasn't sure what had happened at the Rape scene (not that it was shown at all -- just boys unzipping their pants) - and it was on television... but I remember being sooooo sad... and my mom coming in to check on me and asking "what are you watching?" when she saw me crying -- and I had no idea what the movie was....
From Noon til Three - Charles Bronson & Jill __________ -- I don't remember much except them dancing around and being sad (again).
Breaking Away -- Love this movie. Still love this movie
Dog Day Afternoon -- mom and uncle (the ex-husband of the aunt we were visiting when I saw Buster & Billie) took me to the theater to see this one -- I didn't get it. I remember asking my mom "Why is that man in a wedding dress?"
Escape To Witch Mountain -- love this movie. Still love this movie
Kramer vs. Kramer -- I remember being so thrilled that this was a book I read before I saw the movie (I was 11 or 12) and thinking the book was better. I learned that early.
The Paper Chase -- John Houseman -- he's awesome! Loved the series, too!!
Fun With Dick & Jane -- Jane Fonda & George Segal. The remake wasn't bad... but love the original (never forget the scene with Jane peeing while George is talking to her in the bathroom and thinking 'I'm NEVER doing that!!' - and I haven't.
Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory -- my aunt took me and my cousin to see this at the theater in Fremont... I ran out of the theater when Charlie & Grandpa start floating up to the top. The boat ride scared the hell out of me... but the floating to the top was the last straw -- love Gene Wilder, though. Remake was so different, but also good. Love Johnny Depp.
Oh God! - John Denver & George Burns -- who thought they'd be a good pair? But I remember the movie...
Grease. Duh.
The Bad News Bears -- Loved Walter Mattheau....
Okay -- now I can throw my stickies away.
I'm sure there's more -- there's a great story my mom tells on me when we went to see Benji in the theatre... but I'll save that for another time.
I asked himself if I start making $35,000 can we get a pool -- after we successfully obtain a mortgage.... but enough moaning and complaining about the heat. I have a feeling it is going to be a terrific rainy season -- I don't know why I think that... but if I'm right -- cool!!
The other day I was thinking of movies that made significant impressions on me as a child -- so I thought I'd share them here... not all of them were age-appropriate, which is why they may have made an impression...
The Other Side of the Mountain - Beau Bridges & ___________. Story of an olympic skier (Jill ________ ) who had a horrible accident and it paralyzed her from the waist down. The sequel was horrible -- but the first movie is one of the first movies I remember...
Bless The Beasts and the Children -- horrid horrid feelings come back when I think of this movie. I can't remember the entire thing because I'm not sure that I've ever seen the entire thing. The theme song, sung by Karen Carpenter is excellent, though.
Buster and Billie -- Jan Michael Vincent & ____________ -- on www.imdb.com it says the bad guy ("Whitey", in the movie) went on to fame as Freddie in 'Nightmare on Elm Street' -- I happened upon this movie while we were visiting an aunt and her new husband & family in Redwood City -- I can remember the velvet black lounge chair and crying at the end -- I was much too young to be watching this movie -- I wasn't sure what had happened at the Rape scene (not that it was shown at all -- just boys unzipping their pants) - and it was on television... but I remember being sooooo sad... and my mom coming in to check on me and asking "what are you watching?" when she saw me crying -- and I had no idea what the movie was....
From Noon til Three - Charles Bronson & Jill __________ -- I don't remember much except them dancing around and being sad (again).
Breaking Away -- Love this movie. Still love this movie
Dog Day Afternoon -- mom and uncle (the ex-husband of the aunt we were visiting when I saw Buster & Billie) took me to the theater to see this one -- I didn't get it. I remember asking my mom "Why is that man in a wedding dress?"
Escape To Witch Mountain -- love this movie. Still love this movie
Kramer vs. Kramer -- I remember being so thrilled that this was a book I read before I saw the movie (I was 11 or 12) and thinking the book was better. I learned that early.
The Paper Chase -- John Houseman -- he's awesome! Loved the series, too!!
Fun With Dick & Jane -- Jane Fonda & George Segal. The remake wasn't bad... but love the original (never forget the scene with Jane peeing while George is talking to her in the bathroom and thinking 'I'm NEVER doing that!!' - and I haven't.
Willie Wonka & The Chocolate Factory -- my aunt took me and my cousin to see this at the theater in Fremont... I ran out of the theater when Charlie & Grandpa start floating up to the top. The boat ride scared the hell out of me... but the floating to the top was the last straw -- love Gene Wilder, though. Remake was so different, but also good. Love Johnny Depp.
Oh God! - John Denver & George Burns -- who thought they'd be a good pair? But I remember the movie...
Grease. Duh.
The Bad News Bears -- Loved Walter Mattheau....
Okay -- now I can throw my stickies away.
I'm sure there's more -- there's a great story my mom tells on me when we went to see Benji in the theatre... but I'll save that for another time.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
working
I've been working.
A lot.
I'm going in when I'm done writing this... himself is going to help (who am I kidding, himself is going to be supervised by me) get my pc moved from one desk to another...
I love what I'm doing. But I need to be careful because I can feel the martyrdom coming, and this is my choice. Soon. Soon.
I'll be back writing regularly soon.
And hey -- my counter hit 1,007 :-)
One really cool thing is that I have a better understanding through what I'm doing now of what my dad dedicated his life to... and having humongo conversations with him about his advice and expertise is really cool. And one of my best friends... we now have something to reconnect through since he works in a non-profit environment, too.
And by the way -- it was 105 yesterday, and the triple digits will be around for awhile!! blech.
A lot.
I'm going in when I'm done writing this... himself is going to help (who am I kidding, himself is going to be supervised by me) get my pc moved from one desk to another...
I love what I'm doing. But I need to be careful because I can feel the martyrdom coming, and this is my choice. Soon. Soon.
I'll be back writing regularly soon.
And hey -- my counter hit 1,007 :-)
One really cool thing is that I have a better understanding through what I'm doing now of what my dad dedicated his life to... and having humongo conversations with him about his advice and expertise is really cool. And one of my best friends... we now have something to reconnect through since he works in a non-profit environment, too.
And by the way -- it was 105 yesterday, and the triple digits will be around for awhile!! blech.
Monday, June 04, 2007
Mostly True... :-)
| You Are An INFP |
 The Idealist You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards. You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings. At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values. You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak |
Sunday, June 03, 2007
What have I postponed saying no to?
What a great question, eh?
This blog has a couple of good points made the last few days... I struggle with persistence, consistency and self-discipline. This I know. Being a people pleaser, saying yes to things (and people) I want to say no to is very difficult for me. Add to that my confrontation issue -- in that I do just about anything to avoid a confrontation (I don't want to disappoint people, I don't want people to not like me, the perfectionist thing which I know is irrational but feel it anyway...), all this conspires against me and how I view the world and myself.
I have postponed saying no to my scrapping client -- that no, I've not scrapped a lot - and I won't continue scrapping --and I've probably delayed saying no, which really bums me out (to say no) because I love doing it, it is my big connection with her and without it I'm afraid there will be no connection, and I always think I can "fall back" on it as extra income.
That's all -- my apologies to anyone who reads this regularly... I have to spend my time on other things, so only get here less than regularly now :-(
This blog has a couple of good points made the last few days... I struggle with persistence, consistency and self-discipline. This I know. Being a people pleaser, saying yes to things (and people) I want to say no to is very difficult for me. Add to that my confrontation issue -- in that I do just about anything to avoid a confrontation (I don't want to disappoint people, I don't want people to not like me, the perfectionist thing which I know is irrational but feel it anyway...), all this conspires against me and how I view the world and myself.
I have postponed saying no to my scrapping client -- that no, I've not scrapped a lot - and I won't continue scrapping --and I've probably delayed saying no, which really bums me out (to say no) because I love doing it, it is my big connection with her and without it I'm afraid there will be no connection, and I always think I can "fall back" on it as extra income.
That's all -- my apologies to anyone who reads this regularly... I have to spend my time on other things, so only get here less than regularly now :-(
Sunday, May 20, 2007
...and one more thing
I love my new quartet.
Last Friday night and Saturday we hung out a lot because the chorus was doing Mother's Day Singing Telegrams. We did our early Friday evening gig - then we're all dressed up with no one to sing for, so we thought maybe we could go to dinner, get a discount and promote the chorus fundraiser by singing for a few dinner guests. Well, the manager only charged for drinks! We sang for two tables, and one of the mom's was so appreciative -- it was super cool.
The Tenor and the Bass of this quartet are natural sales people, and excel at selling themselves. I can sell others, but suck at selling myself, so as we get better and more experienced singing together, with these two as our marketing masters, I have no doubt that we'll be able to make this quartet pay for itself, which fits my budget so very well!!!!!
On Saturday morning we had two gigs to sing with another quartet, so we did that -- then went to breakfast at a place where the Bass and her husband regularly go, sang twice and again got free meals. Walking out to the car I said with much gusto "I LOVE this quartet!!!"
We also spent a lot of time talking about and probably solving the problems of (I'll say) the world... and I'm convinced if the Tenor & Bass got themselves in positions of authority, (I'll say) the world would be a very different place. We laugh hysterically together -- are so creative it hurts sometimes!
Last Friday night and Saturday we hung out a lot because the chorus was doing Mother's Day Singing Telegrams. We did our early Friday evening gig - then we're all dressed up with no one to sing for, so we thought maybe we could go to dinner, get a discount and promote the chorus fundraiser by singing for a few dinner guests. Well, the manager only charged for drinks! We sang for two tables, and one of the mom's was so appreciative -- it was super cool.
The Tenor and the Bass of this quartet are natural sales people, and excel at selling themselves. I can sell others, but suck at selling myself, so as we get better and more experienced singing together, with these two as our marketing masters, I have no doubt that we'll be able to make this quartet pay for itself, which fits my budget so very well!!!!!
On Saturday morning we had two gigs to sing with another quartet, so we did that -- then went to breakfast at a place where the Bass and her husband regularly go, sang twice and again got free meals. Walking out to the car I said with much gusto "I LOVE this quartet!!!"
We also spent a lot of time talking about and probably solving the problems of (I'll say) the world... and I'm convinced if the Tenor & Bass got themselves in positions of authority, (I'll say) the world would be a very different place. We laugh hysterically together -- are so creative it hurts sometimes!
*Whew!*
Tucson Girls Chorus Auditions for May are over! Until August :-)
Wow! I basically feel like I've been in deadline crush mode since (well, really since I started...) two weeks after I started. The red tape in order to pass out Audition Flyers to schools (rolling of the eyes) -- fax the flyer w/ a form - the flyer has to have a disclaimer from most districts - fax it back approved. Districts have ways in which they want to received the flyers -- bundles of 20, for example. Tucson's largest school district is TUSD and they have over 8,000 elementary children -- I forget how many middle school... And we had 3 other districts besides that. And only 3 other districts because I knew time was an issue, there are really 7 districts we want to get information to! So I targeted a part of town kinda close to the TGC Music Center and we only sent out 1,500... (to one district) and 1,500 because I had put this flyer thing off for a couple weeks cuz I hadn't realized the magnitude of the job.
So, yesterday were the Auditions -- next time I'll ask to have my parent volunteers there 1/2 hour early -- cuz the two that I asked to be there 1/2 hour early were only 20 minutes early, and I had two girls show up to audition 10 minutes early. And of course I wasn't quite ready -- with all the other stuff I was doing -- printing out the enrollment forms and audition/TGC policy overviews... well, after the first 5 families arrived everyone was there and it was a well-oiled machine.
Our goal was 20 new girls (and some people thought this was overly optimistic, and I'm sure the director herself wasn't thinking we'd get that many...). I believe we have 24 or 25 new girls, plus 4 girls who haven't committed yet... and then there were 10 or so from the week before's "bring a buddy" day.
I love my job. I've never felt this passionate about something AND been given enough responsibility and trust to do things the way I see fit by those whom I answer to. I'm sure my enthusiasm will run its course, and the change of Board members coming at Monday's board meeting I have a bad feeling about... but there are enough 'mindless' kinds of tasks sandwiched between rush deadlines, long and short term projects and they all point to the end goal of enriching young girls' lives and increasing their musical and emotional maturity that I'm not easily bored; there is a lot of potential for growth of the organization and personal satisfaction in being an integral part of helping make it happen. The director makes a huge difference, she's awesome and I need her to stick around for a long long time.
A week ago Saturday was the Concert, and I was right in the middle of program ads for two weeks... the concert was fab, and the front-of-house parents volunteering went really well, too. The past couple of years have been rough for a variety of reasons, so I'm hoping things will continue to stay on track. I have a vested interest in this non-profit organization -- me doing good ensures me good paycheck!!
Wow! I basically feel like I've been in deadline crush mode since (well, really since I started...) two weeks after I started. The red tape in order to pass out Audition Flyers to schools (rolling of the eyes) -- fax the flyer w/ a form - the flyer has to have a disclaimer from most districts - fax it back approved. Districts have ways in which they want to received the flyers -- bundles of 20, for example. Tucson's largest school district is TUSD and they have over 8,000 elementary children -- I forget how many middle school... And we had 3 other districts besides that. And only 3 other districts because I knew time was an issue, there are really 7 districts we want to get information to! So I targeted a part of town kinda close to the TGC Music Center and we only sent out 1,500... (to one district) and 1,500 because I had put this flyer thing off for a couple weeks cuz I hadn't realized the magnitude of the job.
So, yesterday were the Auditions -- next time I'll ask to have my parent volunteers there 1/2 hour early -- cuz the two that I asked to be there 1/2 hour early were only 20 minutes early, and I had two girls show up to audition 10 minutes early. And of course I wasn't quite ready -- with all the other stuff I was doing -- printing out the enrollment forms and audition/TGC policy overviews... well, after the first 5 families arrived everyone was there and it was a well-oiled machine.
Our goal was 20 new girls (and some people thought this was overly optimistic, and I'm sure the director herself wasn't thinking we'd get that many...). I believe we have 24 or 25 new girls, plus 4 girls who haven't committed yet... and then there were 10 or so from the week before's "bring a buddy" day.
I love my job. I've never felt this passionate about something AND been given enough responsibility and trust to do things the way I see fit by those whom I answer to. I'm sure my enthusiasm will run its course, and the change of Board members coming at Monday's board meeting I have a bad feeling about... but there are enough 'mindless' kinds of tasks sandwiched between rush deadlines, long and short term projects and they all point to the end goal of enriching young girls' lives and increasing their musical and emotional maturity that I'm not easily bored; there is a lot of potential for growth of the organization and personal satisfaction in being an integral part of helping make it happen. The director makes a huge difference, she's awesome and I need her to stick around for a long long time.
A week ago Saturday was the Concert, and I was right in the middle of program ads for two weeks... the concert was fab, and the front-of-house parents volunteering went really well, too. The past couple of years have been rough for a variety of reasons, so I'm hoping things will continue to stay on track. I have a vested interest in this non-profit organization -- me doing good ensures me good paycheck!!
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Making The Rounds... in case you haven't seen it
So, we had this great 10 year old cat named Jack who just recently died. Jack was a great cat and the kids would carry him around and sit on him and nothing ever bothered him. He used to hang out and nap all day long on this mat in our bathroom.
Well we have 3 kids and at the time of this story they were 4 years old, 3 years old and 1 year old. The middle one is Eli. Eli really loves chap stick. LOVES it. He kept asking to use my chap stick and then losing it. So finally one day I showed him where in the bathroom I keep my chap stick and how he could use it whenever he wanted to but he needed to put it right back in the drawer when he was done.
Last year on Mother's Day, we were having the typical rush around and try to get ready with everyone crying and carrying on. My two boys are fighting over the toy in the cereal box. I am trying to nurse my little one at the same time I am putting on my make-up. Everything is a mess and everyone has long forgotten that this is a wonderful day to honor me and the amazing job that is motherhood.
We finally have the older one and the baby loaded in the car and I am looking for Eli. I have searched everywhere and I finally round the corner to go into the bathroom. And there was Eli. He was applying my chap stick very carefully to Jack's . . . rear end. Eli looked right into my eyes and said "chapped." Now if you have a cat, you know that he is right--their little butts do look pretty chapped. And, frankly, Jack didn't seem to mind.
And the only question to really ask at that point was whether it was the FIRST time Eli had done that to the cat's behind or the hundredth.
And THAT is my favorite Mother's Day moment ever because it reminds us that no matter how hard we try to civilize these little creatures, there will always be that day when you realize they've been using your chap stick on the cat's butt.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Fear part II
After my final class in PR - which was analyzing PR situations (Tylenol Scare = good PR cuz we still use Tylenol; 3-Mile Island Nuclear Accident = bad PR cuz we're still quite afraid of nuclear energy); I decided working as a PR professional wasn't for me -- I didn't want to be on the front wave of any crisis... I didn't want to talk to press when the airplane crashed, or in healthcare PR when costs skyrocket & HMO's suck... a friend from Pepperdine had gone on to a small Musical Theatre conservatory in Ft. Worth, I applied and was accepted -- got home to Arizona and didn't know how I was going to [1] pay for it or [2] live - I had some relatives in the area but didn't have the nerve to ask them for help. So I stayed at home, started working for American Airlines as a reservation agent, and found barbershop. I had also started working with an independent theater company that helped me form who I am today -- but that is another whole series of posts... it wasn't just a theater company, it is a way of thinking and a way of life, and from the outside looking in it is too close to cult for comfort. But I digress.
I basically flounder around -- not sure what in the world I'm doing for 10 years...
I quit AA to tour the east coast from Boston to Key West with a small musical touring company based in Texas - we performed a Cole Porter Review, a USO style show, an interactive murder mystery show, and a children's 'save the earth' kind of show. That was 3 months and one of the best decisions I have made. ** I came back from that and worked as a receptionist at a local magazine; then I decided I really should have gone for a music degree, auditioned at the University for a vocal scholarship and got a full ride. Had the worst vocal professor on campus and he wouldn't let me jury in the second semester - I wasn't ready and I quit. I shouldn't have quit, yet at the same time the department is extremely political and my situation wouldn't ever have changed (i.e., I wouldn't have been allowed to switch vocal professors) and I didn't want to ruin my voice. ** Then came hell... 4 part time jobs with a two week period in which I had 5... 2 waitress jobs (one at a karaoke place; one an early morning shift at a 24-hour student-y restaurant), retail job in the mall, a morning newspaper route that I did -with my mother- (groan), and temporary receptionist.
I eventually went back to AA, and then I quit the theater company and went back to barbershop (I had quit after a year 1/2 because I was working nights and had no money, and it isn't an inexpensive hobby). I've been back in barbershop ever since - even the 5 years in Scotland.
Low Self-esteem, a number of things I seem to be good at and have a heart for, along with the people-pleasing aspect of my personality combine to have provided me with a severe lack of focus on achieving anything. I'd hear someone say, "You should do XYZ, you'd be great at that." So I'd try it. Whether I wanted to or not, it was at least a direction to travel in... since I didn't know what I wanted. But I did and do know what I want. ** This is huge for me to say this ** I want to be paid to do music. Perform. Teach. Coach. Of course, the lack of self-worth doesn't make a very stable place to live emotionally when in a career that constantly rejects you (auditions, performing...). I didn't possess enough sense of self to be able to do that. I haven't 'fought' for anything that hard. Some things come easy for me, so I stick with that. Yet I know the big dreams take work, and I haven't bothered. Difficult to explain.
I believe God created me with a talent, desire & a passion for singing. It is hard for me as a performer to understand the effect other performers have on other people, as I'm pretty critical when I'm just listening as an audience member. So for a long time I have not believed people when they compliment me -- I am gracious and thank them, but in my head I negate every single nice thing that has been said.
All that is changing -- I'm only 39 -- it's only taken be 18 years or so to admit I've run away from things that are hard and difficult, because there has been an easier path that was just as appealing at the time to follow -- no heavy lifting required ;-)
I basically cried the entire week at Pepperdine -- listening to powerful music. Powerful for me because of who I am and what I believe. Frustrated with myself because I keep seem to be missing opportunities -- but that is really just not sticking with anything long enough to be prepared when the opportunities present themselves.
I basically flounder around -- not sure what in the world I'm doing for 10 years...
I quit AA to tour the east coast from Boston to Key West with a small musical touring company based in Texas - we performed a Cole Porter Review, a USO style show, an interactive murder mystery show, and a children's 'save the earth' kind of show. That was 3 months and one of the best decisions I have made. ** I came back from that and worked as a receptionist at a local magazine; then I decided I really should have gone for a music degree, auditioned at the University for a vocal scholarship and got a full ride. Had the worst vocal professor on campus and he wouldn't let me jury in the second semester - I wasn't ready and I quit. I shouldn't have quit, yet at the same time the department is extremely political and my situation wouldn't ever have changed (i.e., I wouldn't have been allowed to switch vocal professors) and I didn't want to ruin my voice. ** Then came hell... 4 part time jobs with a two week period in which I had 5... 2 waitress jobs (one at a karaoke place; one an early morning shift at a 24-hour student-y restaurant), retail job in the mall, a morning newspaper route that I did -with my mother- (groan), and temporary receptionist.
I eventually went back to AA, and then I quit the theater company and went back to barbershop (I had quit after a year 1/2 because I was working nights and had no money, and it isn't an inexpensive hobby). I've been back in barbershop ever since - even the 5 years in Scotland.
Low Self-esteem, a number of things I seem to be good at and have a heart for, along with the people-pleasing aspect of my personality combine to have provided me with a severe lack of focus on achieving anything. I'd hear someone say, "You should do XYZ, you'd be great at that." So I'd try it. Whether I wanted to or not, it was at least a direction to travel in... since I didn't know what I wanted. But I did and do know what I want. ** This is huge for me to say this ** I want to be paid to do music. Perform. Teach. Coach. Of course, the lack of self-worth doesn't make a very stable place to live emotionally when in a career that constantly rejects you (auditions, performing...). I didn't possess enough sense of self to be able to do that. I haven't 'fought' for anything that hard. Some things come easy for me, so I stick with that. Yet I know the big dreams take work, and I haven't bothered. Difficult to explain.
I believe God created me with a talent, desire & a passion for singing. It is hard for me as a performer to understand the effect other performers have on other people, as I'm pretty critical when I'm just listening as an audience member. So for a long time I have not believed people when they compliment me -- I am gracious and thank them, but in my head I negate every single nice thing that has been said.
All that is changing -- I'm only 39 -- it's only taken be 18 years or so to admit I've run away from things that are hard and difficult, because there has been an easier path that was just as appealing at the time to follow -- no heavy lifting required ;-)
I basically cried the entire week at Pepperdine -- listening to powerful music. Powerful for me because of who I am and what I believe. Frustrated with myself because I keep seem to be missing opportunities -- but that is really just not sticking with anything long enough to be prepared when the opportunities present themselves.
Monday, May 07, 2007
Fear Part I
I'm back. Rascal's fine :-) Himself survived. The dishes were done :-) Not sure what happened in the microwave, but a few minutes this morning has that sorted out.
Pepperdine, as usual, was beautiful and awesome. I didn't take time to reconnect with friends in the area -- too much going on. Didn't take one single picture.
It was 3 full days of reconnecting with God... catching up on the a cappella praise team music scene (and $100 worth of CD's), being convicted (or convinced...) that I've been running away from what is hard and difficult, and while still being scared and wussy about it, am committed to keeping myself open to whatever lies ahead.
Brief history. I started out as a vocal performance major at Pepperdine in 1985. I had auditioned for a music scholarship at the suggestion of my mother, and for lack of a better idea - did so, and they said they'd give me $2,000 to sing, $3,000 if I'd major in music. There were 3 other music majors my freshman year... so thinking they needed another one to round it out. Again, for lack of a better idea, I said yes, I'll be a vocal performance music major. (Voice: The only instrument made by God)
I didn't want to sing opera, or more specifically... I didn't want to sing in foreign languages. It is so extremely shallow, but hey - at least I'm honest about being lazy ;-). Music Theory was 3 days a week - sightsinging, eartraining and written theory; 1/2 hour piano lessons, 1-hour voice lessons, choir 3 days a week, had to be in the fall musical (Camelot), the spring Opera Workshop (The Medium by Carlo Menotti -- yay -an Italian who wrote one-act operas in English!!) along with the normal general classes. I was extremely insecure about any singing talent I had - and being in theory with the #1 Soprano and Bass of the Texas High School All-State choir (i.e., excellent sight-readers), I was not prepared for the competition I didn't want to be in. And Theory was kicking my butt.
Along with the normal insecurities (too fat, not pretty enough, out of shape, too poor blah blah blah) I ended up not returning to Pepperdine for my sophomore year - much to my mother's dismay. Cutting out all the reasons why, I returned in January of 1988 - went to London for summer school that summer, made a whole new group of friends, was scared off from going into Education (should have at least spoken to an advisor before making that decision!), flipped through my catalogue "no math, no science.... Hey - Public Relations" and I adored my major. I participated in all music things I wanted to- what a difference in attitude when I didn't "HAVE" to -- and graduated in December of 1990 with a PR major, English and Music minors.
have to get ready for work - part 2 coming later
Pepperdine, as usual, was beautiful and awesome. I didn't take time to reconnect with friends in the area -- too much going on. Didn't take one single picture.
It was 3 full days of reconnecting with God... catching up on the a cappella praise team music scene (and $100 worth of CD's), being convicted (or convinced...) that I've been running away from what is hard and difficult, and while still being scared and wussy about it, am committed to keeping myself open to whatever lies ahead.
Brief history. I started out as a vocal performance major at Pepperdine in 1985. I had auditioned for a music scholarship at the suggestion of my mother, and for lack of a better idea - did so, and they said they'd give me $2,000 to sing, $3,000 if I'd major in music. There were 3 other music majors my freshman year... so thinking they needed another one to round it out. Again, for lack of a better idea, I said yes, I'll be a vocal performance music major. (Voice: The only instrument made by God)
I didn't want to sing opera, or more specifically... I didn't want to sing in foreign languages. It is so extremely shallow, but hey - at least I'm honest about being lazy ;-). Music Theory was 3 days a week - sightsinging, eartraining and written theory; 1/2 hour piano lessons, 1-hour voice lessons, choir 3 days a week, had to be in the fall musical (Camelot), the spring Opera Workshop (The Medium by Carlo Menotti -- yay -an Italian who wrote one-act operas in English!!) along with the normal general classes. I was extremely insecure about any singing talent I had - and being in theory with the #1 Soprano and Bass of the Texas High School All-State choir (i.e., excellent sight-readers), I was not prepared for the competition I didn't want to be in. And Theory was kicking my butt.
Along with the normal insecurities (too fat, not pretty enough, out of shape, too poor blah blah blah) I ended up not returning to Pepperdine for my sophomore year - much to my mother's dismay. Cutting out all the reasons why, I returned in January of 1988 - went to London for summer school that summer, made a whole new group of friends, was scared off from going into Education (should have at least spoken to an advisor before making that decision!), flipped through my catalogue "no math, no science.... Hey - Public Relations" and I adored my major. I participated in all music things I wanted to- what a difference in attitude when I didn't "HAVE" to -- and graduated in December of 1990 with a PR major, English and Music minors.
have to get ready for work - part 2 coming later
Monday, April 30, 2007
Off to Malibu...
Off to Pepperdine for the Annual Bible Lectureships!
I've not been to my alma mater in a long time -- at least 9 years... the year himself & I got married, I think.
I've not been to lectures since '92 or '93 -- so am looking forward to some rock-the-house awesome a cappella singing in Firestone Fieldhouse _ "Oh Lord Our Lord" here I come!!
For a webcam view of the campus and surrounding area...
http://www.pepperdine.edu/virtualtour/
So... no online time for me this week -- which will be weird. I hope Rascal survives with himself in charge...
Later Peeps!
I've not been to my alma mater in a long time -- at least 9 years... the year himself & I got married, I think.
I've not been to lectures since '92 or '93 -- so am looking forward to some rock-the-house awesome a cappella singing in Firestone Fieldhouse _ "Oh Lord Our Lord" here I come!!
For a webcam view of the campus and surrounding area...
http://www.pepperdine.edu/virtualtour/
So... no online time for me this week -- which will be weird. I hope Rascal survives with himself in charge...
Later Peeps!
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Otter Love & Monty Python
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno
I saw something about the Otter's on yahoo's headlines... and found the YouTube video on someone's blog... definitely check it out -- VERY cute!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mej4RCMeogo
And for Spamalot Fun -- "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" - Trafalgar Square filled with folks with coconuts going for a World Record... kinda quirky.
I saw something about the Otter's on yahoo's headlines... and found the YouTube video on someone's blog... definitely check it out -- VERY cute!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mej4RCMeogo
And for Spamalot Fun -- "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" - Trafalgar Square filled with folks with coconuts going for a World Record... kinda quirky.
13 Famous or Infamous People I share my birthday with
[1] Amy Grant (she's coming to Tucson for a fundraiser on Cinco de Mayo!)
[2] Christina Applegate
[3] Ben Stein (Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)
[4] Ricardo Montalban
[5] Carrie Nation (same spelling even!) - American Temperance Advocate
[6] Andrew Carnegie (True Scottish pronunciation is car-NEH-gee)
[7] Joe DiMaggio
[8] Rudolph Hoess (blech)
[9] John Larroquette
[10] Percy Sledge
[11] John F. Kennedy Jr.
[12] Brooke Haven (porn star, apparently)
[13] Barbara & Jenna Bush
*sorry I've been so quiet lately folks, work is kicking my pa-tootie!!
[2] Christina Applegate
[3] Ben Stein (Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?)
[4] Ricardo Montalban
[5] Carrie Nation (same spelling even!) - American Temperance Advocate
[6] Andrew Carnegie (True Scottish pronunciation is car-NEH-gee)
[7] Joe DiMaggio
[8] Rudolph Hoess (blech)
[9] John Larroquette
[10] Percy Sledge
[11] John F. Kennedy Jr.
[12] Brooke Haven (porn star, apparently)
[13] Barbara & Jenna Bush
*sorry I've been so quiet lately folks, work is kicking my pa-tootie!!
Friday, April 20, 2007
Thursday Thirteen, late again
I was inspired by "A Gentleman's Domain" for this one. Thanks N.
Thirteen Firsts I remember (though a probably more interesting post would be 13 firsts I DON'T remember...)
[1] My first dog - being woken up Christmas morning by a fat little puppy licking my face. Oh the joy!!!!!
[2] My (our) First House - In Scotland - 4 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bathrooms, only 13 feet with WITH an attached garage (yes, really), a little patch of garden (aka yard), and nice and convenient to the chippy. I miss our house.
[3] The first time I had my toes ... 'nuff said
[4] My first date. Dinner, movie... with an 'older guy'... good memories.
[5] My first (and only) speeding ticket. 45 in a 25 or 30 zone... if I hadn't had a job I would have had my license taken away (I was 16)
[6] The first time I cried over a news story. The Rodney King verdict and how L.A. hit the fan... in light of this last week's tragedy, I am crying more and more over the news. Which is why I avoid it whenever possible.
[7] My first real 'make-out' session - high school. S.K. & me in the back room of the choir room (it saw a lot of action) - making out during Advanced Women singing "Hey Jude, don't be afraid... take a sad song - and song was always under pitch- and make it bet-ter-er-er...." completely embarrassed at how the whole thing worked, feeling awkward. After 45 minutes I was a pro.
[8] My first blind date. -the lack of detail should speak for itself!-
[9] My first quartet competition. In the UK - Southport, England, 2000. We sucked. But it was a fabulous feeling!
[10] My first best friend, "basically bannister" -- met at Montessori school when we weren't even 5 years old. We're still in touch, sort of... I know I could call her up and we'd be caught up in no time.
[11] My first "real" dinner - I forgot to take the baggie of innards out of the cornish game hen. Tasted great though.
[12] My first irate call when I worked at American Airlines. 1992. Mr G*nsh*w (not sure of the spelling) couldn't confirm his billing address for his american express card... started swearing and yelling and I held it together to transfer the call -- I knew where she was sitting to go talk to her after I got off the phone because I could her her saying, "This is a business conversation, Mr. G and ...." and he'd hung up on her. I was shaking I was so upset. Creep.
[13] My first really embarrassing moment. I'm not easily embarrassed... but breaking a diving board -- well -- it is hard to live down. Yeah, Yeah, the guy said it had a crack in it... but holy cow!!
Thirteen Firsts I remember (though a probably more interesting post would be 13 firsts I DON'T remember...)
[1] My first dog - being woken up Christmas morning by a fat little puppy licking my face. Oh the joy!!!!!
[2] My (our) First House - In Scotland - 4 bedrooms, 1 1/2 bathrooms, only 13 feet with WITH an attached garage (yes, really), a little patch of garden (aka yard), and nice and convenient to the chippy. I miss our house.
[3] The first time I had my toes ... 'nuff said
[4] My first date. Dinner, movie... with an 'older guy'... good memories.
[5] My first (and only) speeding ticket. 45 in a 25 or 30 zone... if I hadn't had a job I would have had my license taken away (I was 16)
[6] The first time I cried over a news story. The Rodney King verdict and how L.A. hit the fan... in light of this last week's tragedy, I am crying more and more over the news. Which is why I avoid it whenever possible.
[7] My first real 'make-out' session - high school. S.K. & me in the back room of the choir room (it saw a lot of action) - making out during Advanced Women singing "Hey Jude, don't be afraid... take a sad song - and song was always under pitch- and make it bet-ter-er-er...." completely embarrassed at how the whole thing worked, feeling awkward. After 45 minutes I was a pro.
[8] My first blind date. -the lack of detail should speak for itself!-
[9] My first quartet competition. In the UK - Southport, England, 2000. We sucked. But it was a fabulous feeling!
[10] My first best friend, "basically bannister" -- met at Montessori school when we weren't even 5 years old. We're still in touch, sort of... I know I could call her up and we'd be caught up in no time.
[11] My first "real" dinner - I forgot to take the baggie of innards out of the cornish game hen. Tasted great though.
[12] My first irate call when I worked at American Airlines. 1992. Mr G*nsh*w (not sure of the spelling) couldn't confirm his billing address for his american express card... started swearing and yelling and I held it together to transfer the call -- I knew where she was sitting to go talk to her after I got off the phone because I could her her saying, "This is a business conversation, Mr. G and ...." and he'd hung up on her. I was shaking I was so upset. Creep.
[13] My first really embarrassing moment. I'm not easily embarrassed... but breaking a diving board -- well -- it is hard to live down. Yeah, Yeah, the guy said it had a crack in it... but holy cow!!
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